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Master Seductor

Updated on December 30, 2009
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First Date Secrets

The way to progress to the next stage with a woman after you have her phone number is to invite her on a coffee date. A cafe has the perfect casual atmosphere to assist you in building a good high quality connection with the woman you desire.

The probability that a woman will accept your invitation for coffee is much greater than that of her accepting an invitation to a more formal date such as dinner or the movies. Because it's short and in a public place there's no underlying expectations for her to become intimate or be exposed to a situation that may make her feel uncomfortable.

Men grossly underestimate the importance of these factors when asking a woman out for the first time. Women take things slowly during the initial stages of a courtship. A short coffeedate is the perfect stepping stone to get you to an official second date.

Most women will need to spend around 8 hours with a man before they are comfortable enough to become intimate with him. This is why the common first date ideas fail so badly. They fail to utilize the little known secret called time fractionating. There is absolutely no point in being with a woman any longer than 40mins on your first date. Succeeding with women is made easier by utilizing these 8 hours correctly.

When you spend longer than 40 minutes with a woman on your first date you run the risk of her becoming bored with you. No matter how good your flirting and conversational skills are the strength of the connection you're creating will reach its peak and level out, usually before the 40 minute mark.

After spending 40 minutes with her talking and flirting it's totally natural for her to want to become intimate with you. When this doesn't happen women can become frustrated and bored with you. The catch is, no matter how well you flirt with her, although she'll feel like becoming intimate with you, she won't because she hasn't been with you for 8 hours.

When you divide up the 8 hours by taking her on a 40 minute coffee date first your chances of succeeding with her quadruple. It doesn't make a difference whether she is your next casual fling or the girl of your dreams, the best way to progress with her is to meet her for coffee first.

A coffee date allows you to create and build a strong connection with her and will entice her to go on a second date. By the end of a short 40 minute date you'll know all the things you need to know in order for you to plan the perfect second date with her.

Most common dates like the movies and dinner fail because you don't really know enough about the woman to spend two or three hours with her. These two or three hours aren't enough time to allow her to feel comfortable enough to become intimate with you anyway. You won't increase the quality of your connection with her anymore than you would've if you'd just spent 40 minutes with her. Only spending 40 minutes with her will leave her with a feeling of eagerness rather than boredom and it allows the seduction to move at a pace that is more natural for her.

By simply connecting well with her on a short coffee date you'll know about everything she likes to do for fun and you'll be able to plan the perfect date for her. She'll also be ten times more inclined to accept your invitation to a more intimate date because you've already taken the time to connect with her the right way.


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    NLP and Seduction

    NLP can assist us to strengthen the quality of our communication skills with women. NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) helps us to understand the differing aspects of neurological behavior regarding communication. Once you begin to understand these differing aspects of communication it becomes advantageous for you whilst interacting with women. This is why NLP has been associated with seduction.

    Seduction is merely the process of being able to clearly communicate our intent to women whilst utilizing the correct techniques to ensure the woman remains receptive to the possibility of aligning and harmonizing with our intentions.

    Seduction and NLP go hand in hand. By swiftly interpreting which kind of system a woman is primarily employing, a man can apply the same system to build trust and connection more effectively. Building trust and rapport are essential factors in seduction.

    People adopt a certain type of representational system whilst communicating and primarily use one of four possible systems dependent on their personality type. The four representational systems are classified as audio, visual, olfactory and kinesthetic. When a man communicates with a woman whilst adopting her representational system to do so, he can build a connection with her much sooner than if he was to ignore this conversational dynamic.

    Someone who is operating through the lens of a visual system will often communicate using terminology associated with vision. A typical example might be, "Try to picture what I'm saying here. As soon as you can envision what I mean you'll probably change your view point. Then you'll be able to see what I mean"

    If you practice a touch, it can become very easy to converse with women whilst employing the same representational system as they are using when you communicate and flirt with them.

    When 'audio' is a woman's primary representational system you'll hear her use dialog such as, "When I heard it, it was like music to my ears. His idea just sounded so good and I'm so glad I listened. After that I just tuned out and quietly imagined what it would be like"

    If a woman is adopting the kinaesthetic representational system as her primary mode of communication she's all about touch and sensations associated with it. Her sentences would sound similar to this, "As soon as I touched on the topic I could tell that he didn't feel comfortable talking about it. I just wanted to make him feel better but he seemed hurt and never warmed to the idea of discussing it"

    The use of the olfactory system as a representational system hierarchy is quiet rare as most people are visual, kinesthetic or audio. An olfactory example is, "It was a really bitter and cold day but the way he thought about bringing a jumper along for me was really tastefully done"

    Now that you're aware of how the different systems operate you'll be able to easily pick up on what system a woman is primarily using. You can then use that system to communicate with her much more effectively. Below is an example of a communication breakdown on a very subliminal level.

    If a woman was to say, "That place looks great to me and I can just visualize myself being there someday. It just looks so picturesque, nearly like a painting", she would be operating from the perspective of a 'visual'. If the man who was an 'audio' responded with, "That idea sounds like sweet music to me. No city noise and just peace and quiet. Just relax and tune out", he would be missing an opportunity to connect with her at a deeper level.

    In the above example the man is in total agreement with the woman, yet to her, it's as if the man just doesn't see things her way. At a subconscious level the woman will not feel the same quality of connection that she would've if the man had simply responded with, "Indeed, that does look enticing. I could picture myself there too. You should look into it" This simple shift from an 'audio' to a 'visual' response would allow the woman to feel a deeper connection with the man.

    When a man pays a little attention to a woman's representational system while he is communicating with her it can make all the difference. She'll feel a lot more comfortable around him much sooner than if he was to totally ignore these dynamics of the conversation.


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      Men Have to Flirt

      Flirting is an easy activity but it can also contain covert mental and emotional attraction building techniques. Sometimes even professionals can become unstuck when flirting.

      Although different experts all claim to have the best method, there will never be a particular flirting style that supersedes all others.

      All women are unique and no one technique will guarantee you success. If a guy is having success using a particular technique it doesn't mean that you will share in his success if you emulate the same method. Certain flirting methods may not suit your character.

      Women get to experience how much fun you can be when you flirt with them. Women experience how imaginative you can be and what it might be like to be in a relationship with you.

      If she isn't having any fun with you whilst she is flirting, then subconsciously she'll realize that you wouldn't be much fun to be with whilst in a relationship with you. And this is why it's important to flirt with a woman correctly. You won't be able to date any womenif you can't flirt with them the right way.

      Men can't afford to underestimate this fact and they must become well practiced at flirting and give it the consideration it requires. It can be a very uncomfortable and embarrassing practice for some men but all men can increase their flirting skills with time and practice. A man can have women available on a consistent basis if he flirts well.

      Most men have memories of failed interactions with women on occasions when they have attempted to flirt. They have naturally developed a fear of the process because their previous attempts have led to rejection and embarrassment.

      It doesn't matter who the woman is in front of them, men must learn to detach themselves from the outcome. When a man can accomplish emotional and mental detachment from the outcome of an interaction he is able to operate outside of his fear bound parameters. A man's most effective tool in any flirtatious interaction is detachment.

      Thinking clearly and acting freely is the result gained when a man can detach himself from expectations. Throughout any flirtatious interaction his mind can remain sharp and present which enhances his chances of success. It matters not whether he succeeds or fails, and this very factor enhances his opportunity for success. When there is no expectations, there is no failure.

      Releasing expectations and residing in a state of detachment is achieved by awakening to the realization that what you desire, you already possess. The more truth you recognize in this statement, the more effective this method will work for you. Your perfect girl is already at home waiting for you. How does this make you feel. The more real it feels, the more detached you can become whilst flirting with women because you already have what you desire. Your perfect girl insists that you flirt with other girls for the fun of it. There's no reason for you to fear anything when it comes to flirting with women because you already have what you want and you couldn't care less about the outcome.

      It doesn't matter what flirting technique you use, they all work best when you're detached from the outcome. There are some really great ways to flirt and some specialized techniques to suit certain situations.


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        • Resolver2009 profile image

          Resolver2009 7 years ago from Bournemouth, UK / Oslo, Norway

          Well written hub MasterSeductor. The information you have regarding the coffee date is so so true. For example if you got on a coffee date in the afternoon with someone you like, then separate.. and meet up in the evening again you will have a really, really special connection due to your previous fun experience from that day.. how I met my gf ;p

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