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- Advice & Tips for Women in Relationships
Meeting the Mom
The Pro’s & Con’s
By: Anastasia Vaughan
You often see and hear stories of the over anxious girlfriend trying to get to the point in which she can officially meet his mother. What does it really mean in a relationship when you are introduced to their mother? For some women it is an honor which means that their relationship has officially moved to a level in which they feel that their boyfriend has began to see them as special or serious. The question to ask is “meeting mom” a real sign of next level attachment? In all due truth the answer is that this can be an honor in some cases, nightmare, or just another day in the life of a man who frequently over shares his love life with mother. The truth is though some men can’t be bothered to run introduce mom to someone they don’t take serious. Every man is not the same. Keep in mind that many men use “meet momma” tactics to make you feel special (unfortunately for you) this right isn’t reserved for any one type of woman in particular. In some cases meeting mom can be the con he uses to avoid talking seriously taking the relationship to the next level such as moving in together but more often than most a diversion away from digging into the marriage plans. For me personally the thought of meeting the momma and the added bonus of additional family members doesn’t really seem to be that big of deal me. Perhaps I feel this way because I personally am the time of girl that everyone is welcomed to meet my momma. In my world I have often had a habit of introducing even the stray animals that I attempt to feed and pet to momma just for the sheer entertainment of reaction. With that being said I defiantly wouldn’t put it pass a man to feel the same way I do.
Just as in life and love there are various pros and con’s to the experience of meeting the mom behind the man you’re fond of. The question to ask yourself at the end of the day is when weighing your options is it all worth it?
The Pros: For starters meeting his mother is the first step to understanding the way he may interact with the women in life including you. Than of course much like the old fashion concept that a man is almost predestined to fall in love with a woman that is in some form in likeness of his mother you may find the experience a refreshing take on understanding the key personality elements that made him attracted you in the first place.
Meeting mom may also be a clear visual of some odd childhood behaviors or patterns that would not have shown up until you’ve gotten a chance to see it first hand that he may or may not even be aware of. His mother my just so happen to be the mom of your dreams as well too. Being brought in closer to the intimate portions of his childhood and previous life before you can possibly bring about a stronger sense of closeness in the relationship. You are given the opportunity to see his family values in action. And last but not least if you are really lucky his mother may lead you on to a few hints or tips concerning doing the things that her son likes that make him as happy as the two of you live in a peaceful harmony with a crystal clear understanding that you both only have his best interest at heart. After how can the love of one particular man bring anything else but the all around mutual feeling love?
The cons: Though there are many different cons to meeting his mother there are few very important flaws in the concept that simply can’t be ignored. Picture this, so you stroll up casually hand in well enveloped hand wearing your warmest sundress to suit the occasion of being welcomed into your sweetheart’s former childhood territory when a warm toned woman with a faint frozen plastic smile invites you in grudgingly. Your dress is apparently too tight (you know that same pretty yellow one he suggested you wear because he loves to see you in it), your cultural background does not suit her traditional taste and she instantly goes on the defensive as if you’d ever try to take her place. What do you do?
Not surprisely despite the concept of the warm embracive mother of the man you love most women aren’t that lucky. Their are some mother’s who hold a certain level of expectation as to the type of woman that their son should be with while there are others who would love nothing more than here that their son died alone of old age because they could never find a woman quite like their momma who mom would if she were still around at the time of his last days of dating approve of.
The down side of dinning with mother and the family all depends on what point you are in the relationship and the feelings he has for you. In some cases meeting mom to early may just be the start of an early end. There are many aspects that you don’t know and have subconsciously tried to avoid bringing up that gets laid flat out on the table as question after question in an unavoidable form. If there are ex girlfriends that were once seen in high favor as the ones that should be wife to this man it can be a major self-esteem plummet as each family member or just his mother places a doubt in the frontal lube of your mind that probably wasn’t there before you met her and the them behind him the man that is currently making you feel relevant.
The moral of the story is that you need to think long and hard before you wish to open Pandora’s Box of endless curiosity.