- Gender and Relationships
Men Are Cold, Don't Be Too Emotional When Dating. How to Protect Yourself From A Cold Man.
The Cold Difference
Men are cold. They have the ability to turn their emotions off when it suits them. At my guest blog Entrepreneur Lady, I get a ton of private messages from women who are devastated my the men in their lives because their guy suddenly went cold and has shut down completely.
There are a number of reasons that men become cold after dating you for 5-6 months. The most common reason they become cold after this period of time, give or take a few months, is because they wanted you to give them sex initially. That is basically it. After they have been having their fun with you for a few months, they start to feel the relationship pull. Yes, believe it or not, men are not thinking that they met this nice girl and now they are in a relationship with her because she is wonderful. That is just not the way men think.
They will do just about anything to create a free stream of pleasure from you for as little as possible, and when the threat to their freedom, meaning that now they have to pay up, is approaching, they run away without leaving a tip.
Men will also turn cold on you after years of marriage, when they have decided to leave you for another. This is usually due to pressure from the "other woman." They decide that the new woman is where they are receiving their stream of pleasure and this is where they place their affection. If that means trashing you, then so be it. Usually in order for things to come to such a point, they have to have been having an affair for quite some time though, otherwise they will jump their whining girlfriend the minute they begin to feel the pressure.
The ugly truth is that most men believe that they can do better than you. Society, other men and sadly, stupid women create this ego mania. The reason men always have coldness and distance to a degree is because they don't want to commit. Why don't they want to commit? Well, honestly they do want a commitment, if they didn't then no one would be married. When a man says, "I don't want a commitment", what he is actually saying is, "I don't want a commitment with you." Yes, he is thinking that he may find someone prettier, smarter, more interesting, and more ambitious. That is why he does not want just any typical girl who seems as though she is dying for a relationship. Someone who seems to have nothing to do half of the time, and someone who can not interest him intellectually.
Men in Relationships
Never Let Them Have You
You will be in control if you never give a man what he wants.
If you start dating a guy you should absolutely avoid sleeping with him for as long as possible. Hopefully you will be wise enough to wait at least 3 months.
Also, when you begin dating a guy you should never give up your friends and focus everything on him, this leaves you devastated when he decides to turn ice cold on you. You are left missing him, and his company, kind words, and togetherness, and the entire focus of your life slips away from you. Keep yourself no matter what. Who are you really? If you don't know, then how on earth is a man going to truly become inspired by you? Pursue your hobbies to the fullest. Pursue new hobbies and seek business ventures. These are things that highly sought after men do, and why are they so highly sought after? Largely because of these traits that we all find so fascinating.
He will not give up his friends or anything else for that matter when he starts seeing you. Pay attention to this and follow his lead.
Work out on a regular basis and don't stop being yourself. You absolutely must have a life of your own, and if things work out between the two of you, this will greatly enhance your relationship.
One of the number one complaints that men have about women in general is that they are boring. They do not pursue hobbies and interests on their own. If you are nothing more than a clothes horse who can not survive a conversation outside of Dancing With The Stars, then you are probably in that (boring) category.
Put yourself in a guy's shoes. How interested would you be in a guy who is not self sufficient? Think about how much more you are in awe of a man who has accomplished a lot. If you are as deep as a rain puddle, then why should he be with you when you are a dime a dozen? The hot - n- got nightclubs are swarming with shallow girls who have no hobbies, no interests, and love to dance. To be viewed as a special girl you have to be special.
For example, if you are a competitive tennis player, you will be practicing your game, getting in shape, and traveling. That makes you exotic, exciting and mysterious. Imagine how much fun it would be for him to brag that he is dating a tennis pro? This is also a great way to keep you from becoming too attached to him and his life if that day comes when he goes cold on you. If he does not consume your life, you will have more control of your future with or without him. You still have your sport and your friends surrounding it. This is a way of coping with their inevitable coldness.
Understanding that coldness is a man's nature and that its always there waiting to rear its ugly head, can prepare you to keep your life together.
I have seen women destroyed by men because they have devoted themselves totally to their man, and suddenly the guy does the unthinkable. He walks away carelessly.
By having your life, you are interesting, but not only that, there is that certain something that says he does not totally have you. Because once a guy has you, its over! No more deep down exciting challenge.
There is nothing to try to conquer, nothing to live up to, just monotony. Bla!
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