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Men Wanting Perfection

Updated on November 19, 2016

The Advice Submission

Single Black Man Dating

Dear Dr. Buckingham,

I am a 30-year-old single man, who has done really well in life. I recently relocated from Atlanta to the D.C. area, and I am hoping to find a wife soon.

I make more than $500K a year and live a fancy lifestyle. How much money I make is not really important, but I mentioned it because my lifestyle influences the kind of women that I attract. However, most of the women I meet do not meet my expectations.

I am looking for a total package: a woman who is extremely attractive, humble, childless, down-to-earth, educated, professional, understands her worth and role, funny, feminine, spiritual and God-fearing and freaky—but not in public. Also, she definitely has to be a professional woman who has money making potential like me and must be willing to provide 100 percent unwavering support even if I only provide 50 percent support to her.


My Thoughts

Read an article this week about a successful man looking for a relationship. Makes over $500k and is looking for the right woman to match his success. He mentioned he wanted to give 50% and wants her to give 100%. Reading this article submitted by a “successful black man” was a manifestation of what many men feel about relationships. How successful can a relationship be if someone enters the relationship with narcissistic characteristics expecting to be fully catered to while giving ½ in return. This man appears baffled as to why he continues to meet less than desirable no-quality women. When you feel you are swimming in options shallow qualities can take the forefront over substance. You can’t have a quality relationship when you are in love with the amazing man in the mirror.

Mentioning your salary speaks that you are boastful of your accomplishments. There is nothing wrong with considering yourself accomplished and successful. When you throw out your salary, it appears that is for the purpose of trying to catch the fish/gold-diggers/rats to come running for an opportunity to upgrade their life and children’s lives.

You are not ready for marriage or a serious relationship with a quality woman when you are expecting someone to come along and cater to you only often that is possible with women with low self-esteem that will do anything to upgrade their lifestyle. From that situation please don’t expect genuine love or someone that really cares about you. Women attracted to these situations care nothing except for themselves so please don’t expect loyalty from her, she’s an accessory-nothing more. Let me be more specific, disposable tradeable gold-diggers that at any given time may have slept with a fourth of any room if anyone had more money than they generated for themselves. Be careful what you label quality or relationship worthy-ijs.

If you are ready for a quality relationship and you’re having a hard time finding one do you secretly want someone far below your socio-economic condition to make you feel even more accomplished? For sure you should be able to find a quality package woman at a silent auction charity event, professional associations, wine mixers at a law office gathering, professional conferences in your industry, or dinner parties held at the Four Seasons.

The question: What do you really want? Do you really want a relationship or does it sound nice to just say that because it makes you appear to be a nice guy? Are you throwing out an advertisement to get yet more women in the bed chasing the belief of being the one? Are you committed to the chase and not the prize? Are you really ready to settle down or are you still in love with applying impossible standards to women to objectify women making it easier for you to tell this ‘whoa is me-I’m still alone’ story? Remember to find the right one, you must be committed to being the right person. Lastly, are you entering a union expecting to short change your wife

They Got It Right


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 12 months ago

      "I am looking for a total package: a woman who is extremely attractive, humble, childless, down-to-earth, educated, professional, understands her worth and role, funny, feminine, spiritual and God-fearing and freaky—but not in public." - Too funny!

      I don't know of anyone who is "Extremely Attractive", educated profession who Understands their Self Worth and is "HUMBLE".

      There is no such thing as being "HOT" and not {knowing it}!

      Speaking of which he doesn't discuss his own looks!

      Aside from this guy stating he's going to offer her 50% and wants 100% of her support almost everything he's looking for is a contradiction.

      If a woman "understands her self-worth" why would she settle for a guy who is only 50% supportive?

      The more "options" a woman has the less crap she'll put with!

      Another thing is it sounds as though he wants a "Rich Gold Digger". There's no such thing. If she is beautiful and has her own money it's doubtful she'll be very impressed if he's some short fat ugly successful guy.

      "Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless (you) are a star!"

      Last but not least very few men successful or not ever go "looking for a wife"! Nine times out of ten if a guy uses that line it's intended to make (women) in particular believe he's a "good guy".

      The reality is men for the most part allow their (current relationship) to dictate whether or not there is a desire for marriage. Essentially the relationship EVOLVES into something serious.

      Anyone who wants to get married and isn't even dating anyone is putting the cart before the horse. People who attempt to "fast forward" through the dating process are inclined to fall into the trap of looking for the "next one" instead of the "right one". It's being HAPPY in one's current relationship that causes them to think about "happily ever after".

      One man's opinion! :)