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We Just Think Differently, That's All

Updated on March 15, 2011

A friend sent me the following email today. The email consists of two diary entries, one by the wife and one by the husband. I have no idea who authored this piece to give them credit, but it's one of those emails that gets forwarded over and over and over again. My friend's only words in her forward were, "Typical". Once I read it, I had to agree that this email was definitely a fairly well-written representation of how differently men and women think and why it tends to cause us a bit of 'trouble' from time to time.

Her Diary

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.

We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, 'Nothing' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.

About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary

My Harley wouldn't start today, but at least I got laid.

My Conclusion

Doesn't that pretty much say it all?

As a woman, I notice that women do tend to over-analyze situations, and with lightning speed, I might add. That is not always a bad thing since we are multi-taskers who have to be quick in our decision-making skills in order to save our child from peril as he teeters on the edge of the coffee table, while cooking supper with one hand and calling the dentist to make an appointment for next week's teeth cleaning with the other.

When it comes to relationships, that can sometimes get us into trouble as we see in this case. I'm not by any means excusing the man in this situation from any and all responsibility. It was his failure to communicate in the first place that set the ball into motion. When she asked her husband what was wrong he could have simply said "My Harley wouldn't start and I'm kinda bummed." He may have even scored a sympathy "piece" at that point had he played his cards right.

Who knows? Maybe the wife has been reading up on how to fix his Harley. In this day and time, it's not unheard of. Maybe the wife would have gone out and fixed it for him or at least assisted to help. Perhaps she'd be wearing something short and clingy. *wink*

It's all about communication, folks. And you won't always do it perfectly. But as I sometimes tell my husband, instead of trying to find the perfect words, just spit it out and we'll mop up as we go. But you have to have an open mind when you do that.

My advice to the women: Don't assume. Don't let your imagination run wild. Don't fill in the gaps with the worst case scenarios. Sure, your signifcant other may give you all the signals that MAY mean he's cheating (or lying, or whatever, etc) but it doesn't mean he is. Become the kind of woman he wouldn't dream of cheating on or lying to. Be YOUR best self and watch what happens. He'll either shape up or leave. In either case, you're much better off.

My advice to the men: Don't assume we know what you think. We are pretty darn good at it, but we do tend to go crazy with it sometimes. Make sure we understand you. Talk to us. We love to think we're helping. If you see signs that make you uncomfortable, stay alert, but don't make solid conclusions. Become the kind of guy she would never cheat on or lie to. Be YOUR best self and watch what happens. She'll either shape up or leave. In either case, you're much better off.


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    • profile image

      Deej 5 years ago

      But...why didn't he just tell her what was wrong?

    • treevas1 profile image

      treevas1 6 years ago

      love is one heart in two bodies and two minds, it should be collaborate to complement one another...

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Thanks for stopping by Trish and Countrywomen!

    • countrywomen profile image

      countrywomen 9 years ago from Washington, USA

      Yes even I noticed that when I want to talk to my husband what I made for him when he comes from the office (I come early from office so that I can prepare dinner) then he just isn't too keen and switches on the TV and starts staring at it with mono syllable answers but after 2 days I knew when he is in a mood to talk...LOL

      I guess it is both an art and a science to understand the male/female dynamics. Thumbs up for a thoughtful hub.


    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      LOL I loved this! I especially like your line 'spit it out and we'll mop it up as we go'. Unfortunately, I am guilty of assuming and imagining. I always read into things, and that's not always a good thing, although there have been times I was right. Guess you could say I'm one of those 'what if?' people LOL

      Thanks for sharing!

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Thanks Lgali & Laughing Mom....I'm headed to Lgali's right now.

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 9 years ago

      I don't know how I missed this yesterday, but I LOVE your new saying!!

      You should check out Lgali's hub on the same topic.  Very funny, as well.

    • Lgali profile image

      Lgali 9 years ago

      nice one LOL

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Awww...thanks Laughing Mom! That's just it, sometimes you gotta fight fire with fantastic! (I just made that up...pretty good, huh?) LOL

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 9 years ago

      Ain't it the truth KCC! Ain't it the truth!

      I don't know that I'd jump to the conclusion that he's cheating, but I'd definitely stop by Victoria's Secret for a new "clingy-thingy"!!

      Lot's of fun, as usual, KCC!!!

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      I agree, Elena! Not assuming works well in all situations! Good communication eliminates the guesswork. It's just hard to get everyone to do it. Thanks for stopping by!

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 9 years ago from Madrid

      Hi KCC! Fun! I got the same email, well, a spanish version anyway. Man's diary was "damn, my team lost again, the suckers, but at least I got laid." I have to agree with Chris, I think the entry should contain at least one reference to beer! Laugh

      "Don't assume" is good adice for both parties of a relationship, no matter the gender :-)

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      You reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in years. We had 3-4 couples over for a Halloween party one time. And I'm a very accomodating hostess. I do try to make sure everyone has what they need, etc. But, I remember this one guy turning to me and asking me (ASKING ME) to bring him his beer and cigarettes. I was livid. For one, I had already told him that I didn't allow smoking in my house and the nerve to ASK me to bring him his stuff. OMG....LOL After I told him to get it himself, I went to have a word with his wife. I found out that's their lifestyle. He makes her wait on him hand and foot. We never had them over again and have now drifted apart altogether.

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      LOL@ Christoph! I bet he thought it though! Thanks for stopping by!

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 9 years ago from St. Louis

      I would be pissed if I didn't laugh so hard. I guess I can't speak for the female side of the story, but the guys side of the story is way overly simplified. I mean...he didn't even ask her to get him a beer.

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Thanks Rongould! Isn't that the truth?! But that's what makes it fun! Thanks for stopping by!

    • rongould profile image

      rongould 9 years ago

      Mars vs Venus again. It is a wonder that our orbits ever come close, much less intersect. LOL! Great hub!

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      LOL eovery! Thanks for stopping by!

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 9 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      The Harley's not running -- That is serious!

      Come on, any Harley wife would have know that this was serious! And that his mind would be somewhere else.

      Keep on Hubbing!

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      So so true JG! Thanks for stopping by!

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 9 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      I can't imagine any guy who owns a Harley writing in a diary! More likely it's what he said to a buddy the next day. ;}

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Thanks Whikat!  You're right, the things that make it so interesting are often the things that make us the craziest though!   LOL  Thanks for stopping by!

    • profile image

      Whikat 9 years ago

      Nice Hub, The truth of it made me laugh.

      Isn't it wonderful that some women over analyze and some men do not analyze enough? Makes the World go around.

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      We do, don't we Rochelle?! We are silly that way. We really like to categorize it, label it and document it. There is a lot to be said for simplicity. As always, thanks for stopping by and commenting!

      Thank you Eldritch Elegy! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for taking the time to comment!

    • Eldritch Elegy profile image

      Eldritch Elegy 9 years ago

      Very nice, and good advice there at the end.

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 9 years ago from California Gold Country

      Harley failure and sexcess. Men are so basic. We tend to overcomplicate everything

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      LOL.....I think you're right, GT! And too often, one or both forget to use it!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 9 years ago from Free and running....

      Damn skippy we got different brains!


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