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Mens Top 10 Peeves with Online Dating

Updated on April 2, 2010

At a certain point in our lives we stop going to bars and clubs, scouring the crowd for that "someone". We steer clear of the "Matchmaker", the blind date our friend swears is our perfect match, or personal ads, where you never know who is going to reply. The alternative has become Online Dating. Where you know quite a bit about someone before you meet. Or do you?

Statistics say that approximately ninety percent of people lie about something on their profile. Women generally do not tell the truth about their looks and age, where men tell the little white lies about economics and background. Essentially, millions of online daters post what they think someone else will like, rather than being truthful and getting responses from potentials who are interested in who they truly are.

Upfront honesty is the key, for both men and women. You may find you agree with the Top Ten whether you are a man or a woman, but each of the Top Ten Peeves have come from personal experiences of men and what blew that seemingly perfect first date. See if you agree, or leave a new peeve from your own experience in the comment section.

Top 10 Peeves

  1. Pictures of women do not match reality. Pictures that are posted and are supposed to represent what the woman looks like today, often are not. Men don't want to hear 'Oh, that picture is a few years old (more like ten), but it's the only good one I had.'. If you are 5'2" and one hundred and fifty pounds, then say you are. If you are 6'0" and a hundred and five, say so. You can always edit your profile, keep it updated. And please, don't lie about your age, at some point they're going to figure it out, unless you are somehow able to alter your birth certificate. You may just miss out on all of the men who are interested in dating a thirty-something as opposed to a twenty-something.
  2. Make your intentions clear. If you are looking for a long term relationship, then say so and mean it. If you are looking for a short term, fill your need flings, that is great for many men as well, just indicate what your intentions are upfront.
  3. Women are not forthcoming about habits or quirks. If you are a smoker, say you are a smoker, don't show up smelling like an ashtray. If you are something more than a social drinker, be honest about it. Check out AA first, but at least you will be honest on your profile. He might bring cab fare, just in case. If you like to bite (vampire-ism) and may be tempted to do so on your first meeting let him know ahead of time, he may not be into that. If you are sarcastic, cynical, sweet or sassy, then let it show on your profile.
  4. Be truthful about your future wants. If you don't want to have children then say you don't up front. Don't surprise us when we meet and start talking about wanting to have children only to find out that you've had your tubes tied or have absolutely no desire to have any or anymore children. Or we don't want children and you already have the names picked out for the slew you plan to have with that "perfect" someone.
  5. Proximity IS Important! If you live farther than a fifty mile radius especially in another state why would you contact them? Most men don't own a moving van and are not willing to buy a plane ticket to have lunch with you.
  6. Not independent. Have your own mode of transportation, and not still living with your parents or grandparents (unless they are under your care). When you are twenty seven and you have a curfew...... Uh NOT! Be employed or at least actively seeking and not looking for someone to take care of you. Please, please, after the first date do not ask to borrow money.
  7. Just because you met for coffee doesn't mean you are now officially dating. There may be chemistry, but a second date, probably a third and fourth are necessary before anything is official.
  8. If you are seeking a Boy Toy or an Escape Route, don't contact those that are seriously looking for a relationship. Men don't want to be surprised over lunch by your husband, whom you are supposedly separated from, barreling through the restaurant shouting "I knew you were cheating on me!" Or, the stalker boyfriend you are trying to escape from who is sitting in the parking lot with a camera lens pointed at the two of you having a nice quiet cup of coffee.
  9. Try including what you don't want on your profile. There are plenty of areas to add comments, in addition to the standard never, sometimes, always answers. How about directly on your profile add something like "If you (blank, blank, or blank), we're probably not a good match." If you don't like tattoos and he has sleeves, he's done before the date began which could have been avoided by simply stating what you don't like. Think of your past experiences and peeves, those will give you a good idea of 'those who need not apply'. This doesn't mean that you have to create a 'Bitch List' you can simply say "I prefer more skin than tattoos, one or two is okay. I prefer to be nibbled rather than bitten.".
  10. Botox. If you meet for coffee and your face isn't moving as it should be, he might think he's in a Twilight Zone remake. Or, if he's transfixed by lips so huge, wondering how in the world they got that big, he's not interested in anything you are saying or any of your more attractive features. Their eyes just can't move from those enormous lips, you know you should have posted a more recent picture, maybe the one from the cosmetic surgeon's before and afters.


Which is your biggest peeve?

See results

After talking to friends, even some family, acquaintances and even a few strangers about online dating experiences, I found myself laughing at many of the stories I was told. So out of that I created some of the more important and comical ones.

Stay tuned for Womens Top Ten Peeves With Online Dating. It's in the works, and yes there are similarities with the Mens Peeves, but there are also big differences.


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      John 6 years ago

      Great hub Missi

      I would agree with the sad fact that 90% of people lie in their profiles or try to hide the whole truth. No wonder people think online dating doesn't work.

      I don't think people realise that by not being truthful in their profiles and stating exactly what they want, they are just setting themselves up for dissapointment from the start.

      Anyone who understands this point should then realise that any profile intersest you get are interested in you for who you are, and not who you are portraying to be.

      Get this right and your online dating experiences should be positive.


    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 8 years ago from Southern California

      MFB III Thank you for your comment. That's the thing I don't get, if I was an online dater I would tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, if someone doesnt select me because of the things I put on there, then better for me. I would want someone who wants me for me.

    • MFB III profile image

      MFB III 8 years ago from United States

      it's always a gamble...and a mystery...but perhaps that makes it so alluring. A lot of couples have met online and went on to be wed. But you nailed it on the falsification of facts which makes no sense once the two meet and get to know one another. ~~~Great advive~~~MFB III

    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 8 years ago from Southern California

      You said it creativeone59. Honesty is the key. So glad you enjoyed this hub and thank you for your comment.

    • creativeone59 profile image

      benny Faye Douglass 8 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

      Thank you Darnell, for your wonderful hub for people on honesty and how to treat people the way you wish to be treated on the dating line. Godspeed. creativeone59

    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 8 years ago from Southern California

      JannyC it's in the works and hilarious!! And yes there are many of the same complaints but some added new ones that just had my sides splitting from laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing your experience and yes that seems to be the number one for both sexes.

    • JannyC profile image

      JannyC 8 years ago

      Need to write womans top pet peeves for online dating now. Which can really be the same for mens list. my experience Was the guy put up old picture of him and they had totally let themselves go from the moment that picture was taken wow....

    • Lynda Gary profile image

      Lynda Gary 8 years ago

      Great article. :) I was going to write a similar one, and I'm glad to see you beat me to it. :)

      My online dating days are over, I believe. I went on a sort of "marathon" dating spree one year after joining Match. I got something like 2000 emails in one weekend. It became a full time job sorting thru them. When I finally weeded thru it all and narrowed down my choices, I started meeting guys for those "first dates." And, OMG, it is the GUYS who lie! LOL.

    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 8 years ago from Southern California

      jwjulie40, so glad you found this hub funny, as I intended. Oh my... Octopus Man! I wish you well with your online dating experience and hope you find that special someone.

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      jwjulie40 8 years ago

      Missi, this only make me laugh, I just start this and I have had so many men respone!! I had one guy we only had dinner and in the parking lot where he walked to my car (everything was going so great) he moved in for that sweet night kiss and the next thing I knew he had ten thousand hands they where all over the place I was like pushing him off me!! Long story short I think men need to learn to take their time!!! Love this hub cant wait for the women one!!