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Millennials Decision to Shop for an Engagement Ring Together

Updated on September 7, 2016
Women are taking a more active role in their engagement ring process.
Women are taking a more active role in their engagement ring process.

It is no secret that Millennials are "beginning" life later than every generation preceding them. From starting their careers, to moving out of the house, to engagements and marriages; most of life's important milestones are occurring well into their late 30s. How does this impact the process of shopping for an engagement ring?

Traditionally, man meets woman, falls in love with woman, asks for permission from her parents to propose, buys engagement ring, and asks her to marry him. With this forward thinking generation, a step has been taken away from the traditional and towards a more involved approach. Since Millennials are of a more "mature" age, compared to the average age of engaged couples in the past, it can be said that they know more of what they want and don't want. Women are voicing the need to be involved in the process so that their future fiancé can't get it wrong!

Allow your soon-to-be fiancee to point out the style that is her favorite before you begin your search. This lets her feel she's involved without ruining your "big reveal" moment.
Allow your soon-to-be fiancee to point out the style that is her favorite before you begin your search. This lets her feel she's involved without ruining your "big reveal" moment.

I have seen everything from a couple equally and joyously involved in the selection process together hand in hand excited about their future, to a very opinionated woman on FaceTime conferencing from work demanding what she wants as her passive boyfriend sits in a showroom ready with credit card in hand. Now I am not here to pass judgment, but I will say this: this must be a mutual decision that you are both happy with. This new wave of couples choosing an engagement ring together warrants much discussion because it can either be very right or very wrong.

There is room for compromise. You are the traditional type of man. You want to court her and surprise her with that magical big reveal moment. She, however, is a modern girl who would like to have a say in what her ring will look like. If you have your heart set on having her see the ring for the first time when you open that box there is a way to make you both happy. You and your beloved can make a list of all the things she would love to see in her ring. Keep it in your pocket and use it as your cheat sheet when you venture out to your jeweler. Before you set out on your own, however, you can also go window-shopping. Have her point out a few ideal rings. You may be surprised at her choices. While you imagined her to be a solitaire ring kind of girl, she may prefer side stones. The go-to style you had in mind might have been sleek and modern but then she points out vintage rings. This will be a great exercise in really seeing what has been catching her eye all this time. This way she feels that she has been active in the process and had her voice heard. You are happy because you aren't flying blind and still get to stick to some tradition.

Make sure your decision is one that brings you closer together.
Make sure your decision is one that brings you closer together.

Create another memory of togetherness. If the previous suggestion wasn't hitting the mark, perhaps sharing in this moment together is the way to go. This could in fact bring you closer together. Venturing out to different jewelers to find the perfect ring as a couple can end up being another beautiful memory in your love story. You can watch her eyes light up with building excitement and anticipation as she picks from the many choices before her. She can watch the desire in your eyes, wanting this to be the beginning of your happily ever after together.

Make this the perfect moment for both of you!
Make this the perfect moment for both of you!

You define what "perfect" is. There is no right or wrong in this momentous occasion. Only the two of you can decide what is perfect for you and stick to it. Forgive those with their own opinions. After all, in the end, it will be you and her writing the story of your lives together. Make sure it is one that you will want to read again and again!

Which way do you think engagement ring shopping should go?

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