- Gender and Relationships»
Mommies are Sexy Too
Motherhood can be an overwhelming experience for any woman, filled with deep meaning, profound joy and boundless love. On the other hand, motherhood totally gets in the way of sex. What new mother, having been blessed with her little angel, hasn’t wondered what the heck happened to the romance that was responsible for producing nature’s greatest gift in the first place? How did quiet candlelight dinners, whispered sweet nothings and romantic weekend getaways get buried in an avalanche of burped-up baby food, teary-eyed tantrums and trips to the pediatrician? The answer is simple: babies are just plain exhausting.
With their constant need for attention and their little perpetual motion motors that never seem to stop running, babies wear mommies and daddies out so thoroughly that, even when those rare opportunities to share moments alone together occur, the only thing the frazzled parents want to do is close their eyes and sleep until puberty has started to fade in the rear view mirror. If only!
But while the newest addition necessarily complicates matters of romance, that doesn’t necessarily mean that wedding vows have to be swapped for vows of celibacy. If that were the case, no one would ever be forced to share with their siblings. Yes, with a little care and planning, it is possible to spice things up again in the bedroom and still respond to the countless demands that come as standard equipment with every bundle of joy. Here are a few ways to rekindle the romance in a post baby marriage.
- Synch it up. Within the first month or two, most babies develop a sleep routine. This is good. Once a schedule is established, make every effort to match Mommy and Daddy’s sleepy time with babies. Then, once everyone is regularly getting their rest, plans can be put into place for parents to skip a nap or two in the interest of intimacy. Sure, this means that there will be times when the little one is getting her beauty rest while the grown-ups are wide awake, but hey, beggars can’t always be snoozers.
Make together time a priority. If plopping down in front of the television or going out with the girls is more important than time spent bed wrestling, by all means grab that remote, find those car keys and kiss the whoopee goodbye. If, on the other hand, the new teddy that Daddy got Mommy last Mother’s Day brings to mind another kind of bare, forget about what’s on CSI Miami, never mind who’s serving free chicken wings at happy hour and give that mommy booty a shake before you-know-who is awake.
3. Get by with a little help from your friends. Chances are there are other new mommies out there waiting to be exploited for their babysitting expertise. That’s the beauty of making friends in Lamaze class. Take advantage. Offer to swap babysitting services with other new parents. Don’t be embarrassed, they know what’s up and they’ll probably be thinking along the same lines when it’s their turn to get away. And don’t worry, once that twinge of guilt that comes with leaving junior with another mother fades away, it will be fun driving around town looking for a reasonably priced hotel.
4. Timing is everything. When every quiet moment stands the chance of being interrupted by baby, it is best to be ready to take advantage of those times when there is a break in the action. Don’t be afraid to jump into some hanky panky on short notice. Some spontaneity in the romance department combined with a willingness to stoke the fires quickly will go a long way toward putting a little spring in Daddy’s step and a big smile on Mommy’s face. And when Mommy’s happy, everybody’s happy!
So don’t be afraid to indulge in a little grown-up fun. And remember, while the bond between mother and child is special, the bond between husband and wife is no less important. To nurture both is to strengthen all the ties that bind.