ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Monogamy Mystery

Updated on April 26, 2010

What's in Your Tool Box?

It seems that monogamy is almost a negative word. Most people dream of finding "The One", their "Soulmate" and experiencing that deep true love typically only found in romance novels or movies. They go to great lengths to meet that special person and dream of the day when they can live Happily Ever After.

On the other hand, many people are scared to death of that, and seeing how there is still a very high divorce rate, what was supposed to be Happily Ever After, turns into "Happily No More". So the word "Monogamy" can be met with love or hate, and usually a bit of both, with a hefty dose of fears, and hopes.

Whether you personally love it or hate it, monogamy is still a most pursued activity. The benefits of being in a monogamous relationship are still strong enough to be a highly desired state of being. Even if it's "Happily Just For Now", most people would prefer to have that steady partner. Reasons for a monogamous relationship include lowering the risk of STDs and STIs, raising a family, having companionship, and a list of unique reasons that each person decides is important to their unique lifestyle.

What makes monogamy such a mystery is trying to determine the mix of qualities that create the happiest and most successful relationships.

  • Is it the scientific mix of pheromones and animalistic attraction?
  • ┬áIs it due to having the same goals, ideas, and life objectives?
  • Is it the individuals who have the best set of people skills naturally know how to "make it work" more than individuals coming from or living a more dysfunctional lifestyle?
  • Then, of course, "What's Love Got to do With it?".

My findings to date shows a decided mix of all of these things, and none of these things. Each relationship has a unique set of circumstances, but there are some very important core themes going on that make, or have the capability of making monogamy a life's masterpiece for the people involved. I want to find that particular set of tools that will allow couple's to create their own unique work of art within their own monogamous adventures. I want to make monogamy a word that equates with marvelous, magical, magnificent. Is that unrealistic in today's society? I don't think so. In fact I'm quite passionate that it's extremely relevant.

I've seen so many couples, from the couples I work with in the 101 Day Sex Challenge, to individual coaching clients come back from the brink of major issues to be incredibly happy with each other. But even more than the couple alone being ecstatic to find that happiness with each other, their families begin to thrive. If there are children, the children become happier and better adjusted, the friends and communities also benefit. It just makes sense that not only is monogamy a trend that's not going to go away anytime soon, it can also create a better world when two people are successful in this pursuit.

I would really love to hear from you all in regard to your own thoughts of monogamy. I've created a simple 9 question survey that I would be most appreciative if you'd take the time to fill it out. You can find that HERE. Or, leave a comment and let me know your thoughts. You can also opt to answer the question I've posted "What does a successful monogamous relationship look like to you? What do you believe is the mystery in the truly successful relationships?" I'm all ears, so open up and let your thoughts flow!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • HappyHer profile image
      Author

      Tracy Morrow 8 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      I agree Don. I think most couples determine if they are a sexual match when love is alive and all consuming. The little issues are overlooked, then later magnified. Typically, most of those issues can be overcome in order to get back to those first satisfying days of not being able to keep your hands off each other. I think it depends on how willing each person in the couple is to make that happen.

    • Don Simkovich profile image

      Don Simkovich 8 years ago from Pasadena, CA

      This is an important topic. How much of a challenge is monogamy, though, for most couples? I guess another question I've wondered is "how sexually compatible are most couples?" And also how does monogamy look in the U.S. versus Western Europe? I think you're right in that most people would prefer monogamous relationships.

    • HappyHer profile image
      Author

      Tracy Morrow 8 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Dreamreachout, I agree with you and it's a shame. Monogamy is not guaranteed, it never has been, but today seems to be more of a disposable society. Let's change that!

      Thank you Thevoice!

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 8 years ago from carthage ill

      terrific excellent hub work thanks

    • profile image

      dreamreachout 8 years ago

      Monogamy is best and unparalled but its not guranteed in today's complex world and that's practical!!

    • HappyHer profile image
      Author

      Tracy Morrow 8 years ago from Cleveland, OH

      Thank you G! That's one of my favorite pics of us. I agree with your ideas and thoughts, especially the love, trust, respect, and values - oh and friendship, okay - all of them :)

      Being on the same team is crucial, and challenging at times, especially when you have opposing view points.

    • GPAGE profile image

      GPAGE 8 years ago from California

      First of all....what an adorable photo! My feelings about monogamy have a lot to do with some key themes in a relationship. Trust, Love, Friendship, value system, same life goals, and respect.

      Although some relationships do go "off course," there is always a way to bring it back. You just have to WANT it to work. This also takes both people to make it happen. I did hit a crisis in my marriage many years ago and we got through it together. "Together" is the word. Both people in the relationship have to be on the same team with their future in mind. Very good article! G

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)