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Monogamy in a relationship, can our generation be monogamous?

Updated on January 25, 2012

Can our generation be in a monogamous relationship?

I wonder if our generation can be in a monogamous relationship for 40 or 50 years like our grandparents? Or are we doomed to never find the forever kind of love? Let's face it; our grandparent’s generation is so different from our own. We are conditioned to be self sufficient and those we need no one but that is a very lonely existence. We depend on no one but ourselves and when we do find that special someone and things get rough, we bail. There is no desire to fight for that love you know you found and will be doubly hard to find a second time. Yet, we don't fight. We think, there are many fish in the sea but we aren't good fisherman and we end up alone for years and years. Anything worth having is worth fighting for yet we let love slip by without giving it our all. Of course, we need to remember that it takes two to fight for love. The grass is never greener on the other side, which is an illusion. You will not find someone better, which is another illusion.

We get one or two real chance at true love and in order to find that someone you can't live without, we need to let these preconceived notions go. So, when you meet someone, don't dismiss them nor neglect them because that person may be your true love and you let it slip through your fingers because you were too busy working or hanging with your boys/girls or just because you were looking for better. Sometimes the woman/man who will make your life better is right in front of you but we are too busy to notice.

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    • profile image

      paulo shishido 5 years ago

      awesome article! :)

    • LuisEGonzalez profile image

      Luis E Gonzalez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Welcome to HubPages. You are soooo right in your idea!

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
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      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Wow, you sound kind of jaded. If what you say is true, then why is it that there are some people who can and have been monogamous? My parents for instance have been together for almost 40 years. Could it be that there generation minds set is different then ours? Sex is everywhere in our society. Could it be that society has changed our way of thinking?

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Thank you. It is sad when society teaches us that monogamy is a normal thing in a relationship.

    • profile image

      HL 5 years ago

      Very interesting-

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      I tried with you but you gave up. It would have been 10 years last November. But when one person doesn't fight(you) there is so much the other can do.

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Not to dwell on the past but let's remember who left whom. When a man/woman decides to file for divorce their is nothing the other person can do. It takes two to make a marriage work. Now, if the man/woman decided it was a mistake to walk out and the other person doesn't want to try again, cuz she/he might get heart broken. Once that bond is broken, it is impossible to get back

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      wow 5 years ago

      LMAO!

    • profile image

      Curious Jane 5 years ago

      Don't feel bad it didn't work out. Apparently someone needs to put the blame on someone else. An alcoholic will remain an alcoholic. A user and liar will remain a useless liar. Apparntly your ex-husband bombarded someone else with a long list of negative qualities about you. That just tells me he will do the same to someone else and has. Monogomy is natural in a relation under the union of God. Blessed be :)

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      Then don't say that you must fight to make it work when u were quick to throw in the towel. I tried numerous of times yet you didn't want to hear UT, or maybe it was because u were pursuit that married man. It offends me that you write this when this has never been what u aspired for. If it trully was even if you were scared to get hurt you would have fought for what u wanted (50 years).

    • profile image

      Curious Janes 5 years ago

      Like he has tried and pursued someone else :) he has to use and abuse. You weren't quick to throw in the towel. Someone will reap Karma

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      U are too funny Jane, its easy to comment when u dont know the facts. Lmao.

    • profile image

      curious Jane 5 years ago

      It offends me to hear the lies ..it's like kids..who started it. From the outside looking in. The list contained never working, lazy, not caring for children...I'm out! someone owes someone an pology. maybe several people deserve one

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      U claim to think you know a lot. I would like to know who this is. Its easy hiding under a ficticious name. But its funny how you defend this person who at one point was contacting an attorney about if she could lose her children if she were to join into a

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      Poligamy relationship. Come forward coward.

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      I fight for what I want. Always have but sometimes throwing in the towel is the only way to save oneself more heartache. Whether one is pursuit or not is not the issue. When a marriage breaks, it is broken. Trying to salvage what is broken is like trying to crazy glue a lamp that broke. It will never be the same no matter how many pieces you can put back together. The cracks are still visible and will never be perfect again.

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Well Jane, thanks for agreeing with my article. My article really wasn't about any one in particular. It was just an observation. I have been single for quite some time and it just seems that men don't want relationships nor to be in a monogamous relationship. I have met a few men who are married and want to fool around.

    • profile image

      mars 5 years ago

      A few, you are still heart broken over him yet you are lookinggl for a monogamous relationship. U need to first start working in yourself.

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      Polygamy doesn't work. People are jealous by nature and no one likes to share. When you date or are in love you play the game the way he/she is playing. This article is about being able to stay faithful and monogamous in a relationship. Men and women are married and yet they still need or want to sleep with someone, for whatever the reason.

    • Beichy Lopez profile image
      Author

      Beichy Lopez 5 years ago from Miami, Florida

      It has been over 5 years. You don't know what I feel or don't feel. Life has a funny way of working itself out. Without any help from us.

    • profile image

      Curious Jane 5 years ago

      ditto...no one should settle to be a rebound or no strings attached. Marriage was meant to be Holy. But believe it or not there are still plenty of fish in the sea that are decent people. It's not that we as women are crazy but look around and make sure your not surrounded by a-holes. Some guys use marriage to get hooked up with someone. Therefore conquer and cause damage. But all that should matter is What the lord thinks of us not men who r infidels. Culture and tradition also come into play about relationships. Not every man and woman are the same. It's not society it's ignorance and lack of morals or teachings.

    • profile image

      Tatiana 5 years ago

      My parents were married for 30 years before my father passed away. My father had married and divorced 4 times before he met my mom. I'm guessing he started young. They never hid that fact from us. In fact, my father taught us to fight for love but to NEVER settle. Living miserably for the sake of saying you won't divorce is not the answer either. I never looked at the fact that he "failed" 4 times as a bad thing. I never looked at it as if he "failed" in love. I looked at it as if he was in search of true love and passion. He didn't put up with a lot of crap. He taught me this way as well. He used to say, "when the going gets tough. Fight hard." But once the respect and everthing else is gone, its time to move on. As a young woman, this taught me to value myself in a greater way. The moment things felt wrong, "GOODBYE." I've been married for 12 strong years now and have 4 children. I never settled and never will. Marriage brings many obstacles and trials. I have standards as does he. We know the "rules" and dont break them. It's all about love and compromise. RESPECT is key.

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