- Gender and Relationships
Morning Glow For Gays
October 1, 2009 the state of Nevada began letting same sex (and not same sex) couples register as Domestic Partners. Yesterday the United States Government added crimes against gays to the list of hate crimes. Of course as a gay man who did theatre most of my life, the song that went through my head was from a musical, Pippin - “Morning Glow” here is an excerpt - “Morning glow, morning glow, starts to glimmer when you know, winds of change are set to blow and sweep this whole land through. Morning glow is long past due.” Morning Glow for gays – Don’t Get Me Started!
I had a young man write into me about being gay and how it affected him living in what’s known as “the bible belt” and knowing at fourteen he’s gay. He asked for advice and I gave the best that I could letting him know it was from my point of reference and what I had experienced. I read a blog (or hub as they say on hubpages.com) about a woman worried that although she thinks her parents all ready know she is bi-sexual she’s afraid they will disown her if she tells them. I felt compelled to leave a comment. While the advice I gave to both was very different, I did my best to show compassion and understand that as a forty-something gay man, my coming out was very different.
To the young boy I told him to be careful, to not come out until he was ready. To not tell the world until he was sure that he was able to accept the possible hate and rejection that would come along with it. I stressed time and time again for him to do whatever it was he needed to do to keep him as safe as possible. I warned against sharing his feelings of his sexuality with teenage friends who may or may not be loyal and may or may not keep it to themselves. I encouraged him to find a support network. I told him to email me whenever he wanted. He’s emailed me several times and I’m pleased to report that he found a friend who actually came out to him and although he is maneuvering through adolescence and not officially “out” to everyone who knows him, all ready suffering at the hands of those who are calling him names, I’m proud to say he’s bobbing and weaving and staying afloat even with the huge waves of hatred being thrust upon him. I know in my heart he’s going to be okay.
To the woman who was worried about her parents I wrote to her saying, “No one can say how anyone will really react to something (especially when they’ve seemingly made their opinion known on a topic) but know that sometimes when it’s someone who is your child, your friend, your parent, somehow the idea of “disowning” or cutting someone out of your life based on something like sexuality becomes more difficult. It’s no longer an abstract. It’s the little girl who took your hand to cross the street and that image is sometimes enough to help parents to begin to see the whole person and not just their sexuality. Coming out is a continual process but worth every minute of it. If you think of all the minutes you’ve spent worrying about it, trying to hide it, etc. you’ll discover that once you’re out you can use those minutes for a lot more productive things.” I know in my heart she’s going to be okay.
There are still many battles and wars to be won to obtain equality and on most days I think about our rights being half empty but today they feel half full. A scary feeling because when you’re waging a war you can never become complacent but right now my heart and eyes are full. I know that those who will follow will be better taken care of then those who came before me or me. And isn’t that what we all want for our children? (Even the ones who are only related by our minority, sexuality or hair color) “So, morning glow all day long. While we sing tomorrow’s song. Never knew we could be so strong but now it’s very clear. Morning glow is almost here. Morning glow by your light, we can make the new day bright and the phantoms of the night will fade into the past. Morning glow is here at last.” Morning glow for gays – Don’t Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com