ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Should I Break It Off With A Toxic Friend?

Updated on July 20, 2015

Let Go Of Others' Troubles

If you're spending more time complaining about someone instead of laughing about the good times you're having it might be time to reconsider the relationship.

It gets to the point where is it relentless. Time after time you hear about all of the terrible things that happen in your friend's life. It's hard to accept that so many unbelievable situations keep coming up. After a while you don't know what to do. It seems there's not much choice. It comes down to the choice between you and them. Are you happy, or are they?

When things happen and you get to know this new friend better, you'll see how they deal with situations and friends and family. If things are getting along well, you'll start to be proud of them for accomplishing their goals. It may turn out that you're so connected with this person that you actually love them for the great person that they are.

Then one thing may happen and you realize that you don't approve of the way they're dealing with their life. Then another thing happens and you start to think. You think about what you have in common with this person. Chances are, after a while the reasons you're together change. When they do you're not motivated for the relationship the same way you once were. That is, you aren't having the same kind of fun together as you once did.

Things just get to be a hassle. These friends start doing things that seem to get under your skin. It almost doesn't matter what they're up to anymore. You start resenting everything they do.They may constantly borrow your car and never put gas in it. They may room at your house and not pay rent, or forget to tell you when they're leaving. They may be noisy, messy, and just plain aggravating to be around all of the time.

The big thing here is whether or not you can stand what's happening between the two of you. After you decide that, you're in business. You can start to separate from what has turned out to be a "toxic person." You can calmly tell them you don't want to see them anymore, or you can scream it at the top of your lungs. If you feel that you need to be away from this person, you have to do something. You have to tell them. If you want to include the reason you feel this way, do. If you don't, don't. Just do it so you can live with yourself after it's all over.

Answers to your questions about the relationship start to come to you almost out of the air. You start to see things. You start to see that you've been taken advantage of by this friend of yours.You feel anger, loss, and end up wondering about your faith in people. You can move on successfully by seeking out the company of old friends that have been there forever. And, you can reach out to new people and groups designed around a theme. Soon you'll be living a new life, and you'll like it. Wounds do heal.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • lisasuniquevoice profile imageAUTHOR

      Lisa Brown 

      3 years ago from Michigan


      I guess if you're in close quarters with people you learn to get along. But, if you have a choice as to whom you're around you might like to avoid those with toxic personalities. It must have been hard to do this on those small ships.

      It was nice to hear from down under today.

      Thanks so much,


    • Tusitala Tom profile image

      Tom Ware 

      3 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      It can take a long, long time before a balance of behaviour is reached between people who live together. This includes such things as who does what around the home of course. My general advice would be - unless you cannot feasibly do it - is to go your separate ways if it becomes really unbearable.

      This is not a step to be taken lightly, of course. For we are learning all manner of good qualities and values by being tolerant, patient and attempting to understand the other person's viewpoint. We grow in proportion to our practical learning of these things.

      My own training comes not only from my fifty-five years of marriage to the same little lady, but six years as a sailor aboard small ships and a stint as an Antarctic expeditioner. In such circumstances one has to learn how to get along.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)