Moving on Too Quickly
After a breakup moving on quickly, or at least before an ex, is something a lot of people do. Usually, doing this is only to rub it in their ex's face, it’s a false sense of happiness.
Moving on can be fun in the beginning but when it happens too soon eventually reality will catch up to you. Yes, perhaps it’s satisfying to be the first to ‘move on’ but it can come back around to bite you in the ass.
It's Not a Race
Breakups are most definitely not a race but people tend to treat them like that. They think that if they’re the first to move on in a very short period of time they are considered a winner, that just isn't how it works in real life.
Have we learned nothing from the story about the tortoise and the hare? Slow and steady wins the race — even though moving on is not a race.
So, let’s take a look at people who act like a hare after a breakup and those who are more tortoise-like.
Those who are more like the tortoise tend to take their time. They would prefer to heal and mend their wounds before they move on.
It might look as if they won’t ever get anywhere but they are far ahead in this ‘race’ because they’re dealing with the pain.
This is a healthier way of moving on but it can be a hard thing to do. However, it is worth it in the end.
People who act like the hare don’t usually want to deal with their feelings. Instead, they want to ‘win’ at moving on and the only way they feel that can happen is if they start dating other people.
Yes, it is considered a coping mechanism to date someone new and push your feelings down but that rarely works out to be a happy ending.
Eventually, your feelings catch up to you, no matter how fast you think you’re getting over the heartbreak.
There are no winners
I know it might sound like the tortoise is the winner, but when it comes to moving on truly there are no winners.
Yes, people who deal with their emotions will benefit far more than those who don't but that doesn't make them a winner, it just means they’re smart enough not to go out and spread the pain to other people.
Moving on too quickly can cause a bigger mess than you think. To put it simply:
- If you don’t process the breakup you can become a bigger mess emotionally
- You can hurt someone else’s feelings
- Using someone else to forget your ex won’t work in the long run
- You’ll compare them to your ex and that will make you miss them more
- You’ll repeat mistakes if you don’t reflect on your previous relationship and why it failed
So, which will you choose to be, the tortoise or the hare?