My Best Man's Speech
I won't lie, I've never before been so nervous in my life, as the few minutes before I made the bestman's speech at my best mate's wedding.
This was the first real public speaking task I had in front of strangers, and while before the wedding I was confident that the speech was well prepared and the material funny, all those positive thoughts went out the window in the moments before I was announced.
My nerves were certainly not helped by the introduction I received by the MC (who was also a good friend), announcing that "this is probably the best you will ever here".
Fornication, <cough>, for-an-occasion such as this, I'd firstly like to thank everyone for helping to celebrate the marriage of the bride and groom and sharing in this incredibly special day. An even bigger thanks goes to all the members of the wedding party, and their family and friends for all their hard work in making today such a huge success.
I'm up here at Ben's request, to represent the groomsmen and just to say a few brief words, a little character assassination if you will, so I'll only take about 30min of your time.
Now before I get going, and talk about the 10 plus years that I've known the groom, I'd just like to point out that Ben's had as much to do with my developing sense of humour as anyone , so while I've tried to come up with a speech that's as funny and lighthearted as possible (while being the least offensive), please blame Ben if it's not.
Before I get into all the mushy stuff, I'd just like to say something that I'm sure you've already heard 100 times today, "bride" you look absolutely stunning and make a very beautiful bride. I think that every guy in the room will agree with me when I say that it's a very sad day indeed for us, as such a wonderful and amazing girl is officially taken off the market. And all the girls will agree also, when I say, that today is just another day.
But seriously, "groom", your a very lucky man to have married "bride", she's beautiful, smart, caring, funny and warm, and deserves a good husband. So yes your lucky that you married her before she found one.
Now one of my duties as best man is to make a heart felt toast about these people who are very important to us all, for without them a day like today wouldn't be possible. So please make sure that as the evening progresses that you get up and spend some quality time with them, so if everyone would raise there glasses, I would like to make a toast, to the bar staff. We couldn't do it with out you - your doing an amazing job.
For those of you I haven't met, I have been a close friend of "groom" since we met at college while we were studying at university. It quickly became pretty clear that "groom" was a man of many admirable qualities, funny, intelligent, confident, well-mannered, kind, generious, attractive and charming. So sharing these traits in common, a friendship was formed.
Following college we moved into a 6 bedroom Queenslander style house we called ......., where we lived with numerous others over a 5 year period, many of whom are here tonight. Everyone involved with the house I'm sure would look back on it with many fond memorys. From there we move into the Regatta, or at least the apartments across the road where we shared another year or so.
So we've been there for each other for quite a while now, and have witnessed or shared in each others high points over the years, and supported one another through the low ones. We've had a lot of fun and crazy times a long the way, and there's plenty of embarrassing stories to share. But I wouldn't want to tarnish my good reputation by running you through any of the memories, surprises or misfortunes that Ben's had along the way, as chances are I was probably involved in many of them somehow.
Although, I will mention that it seems "groom" has outgrown his previous fondness of his birthday suit, which for a while it seemed like he got it out any chance he had. Whether it be strolling across the backyard half an hour into my 21st, or when I found myself on more then one occasion returning from the pub in the early hours of morning only to find Ben by himself in the kitchen cooking a chicken curry, performing his own variation of the naked chef before it was the popular TV show. Ben just always seemed to want to get his kit off. But please everyone, put that image aside for now.
So back to when we were living at the Regatta, which saw the first date with "bride", which quickly became several more. I remember how excited "groom" was at prospect of seeing "groom" again, and "bride" I can confidentally say you had an influence on "groom" from the very beginning - and I'm not just talking about "groom" changing his sheets and washing his towels for the first time in 6 years.
I don't know if you were aware "bride", but it was only a matter of months before a drunken conversation around 3am had "groom" telling me for the first time that you were the girl for him and that one day you would marry. I distinctly remembered the converstaion the next morning and but didn't take him too seriously and didn't bring it up with "groom". But as history often repeats itself, it was only a few weeks later before it was mentioned again, and again; so at this point I realised you were someone very special to him and I took his comments a lot more seriously (mostly because he was wearing pants!).
Shortly after this the relationship became a little more serious and you moved in together and later bought your own home. Your career took off and when your engagement came along, I couldn't have been more delighted for you both. During all the years as friends, "groom" has made some great choices, but his greatest would have to be his marriage to you "bride". (I'm just glad you finally said yes!)
"groom" and "bride" you're both great individuals and together you make an unstopable couple. Anyone who has spent anytime together with them over the years would have seen that their love for one another is as obivous and apparent as it has been today.
I'm very proud of you both, and I feel very honoured "groom" to have stood beside you as you exchanged wedding vows with "bride". I know that you're both perfect for each other and that everyone in the room extends a heartfelt congratulations on your marriage. So without further adew, I'd like to propose one final toast so please raise you glasses - to "groom" and "bride" as they continue the celebration as husband and wife; to love and laughter, and a happily ever after...