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- Relationship Problems & Advice
Melting the Ice of a Relationship
I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.
~ Julia Roberts
Life is full of uncertainties, we never know when it turns in which ways. Same with our relationships, one moment we fear to lose the precious relationships, while in another occasion hate to stay in the same relations which we used to admire a lot. But we never know what is destined for us.
Last year, when I was in Singapore on a business trip I met an amazing lady. We both were the tourist there; Jessica came from Boston while I was from Delhi. After initial chitchat, we discussed several nice to see places in India. She was enthusiastic to know more about India and the best places to visit.
We used to meet at the breakfast table, and discuss various topics on current trends and cultures. One day we were talking about modern relationships and its effects on today’s society. The discussion shifted to our own love stories happened sometimes in our life. I found one incident happened in Jessica’s life was very interesting and worth to share. So, here is that amazing story as Jessica narrated to me.
Let's Begin the Wonderful Story of Jessica
It was past midnight, I was on the bed trying to sleep alone as my husband was out of the city for some office work. My phone lit up- it was a message from my friend John – “Jessica lets meet tomorrow for a lunch together”. I paused for a second and replied him with a big “Yes”, as there was no such important assignment planned for the next day.
John was the new addition to my friend's list. Some fifteen days back I got a friend request from him on my Facebook account. Initially, I was little hesitated to add him to my friend's list, but looking at his profile picture I changed my mind and added him. His profile picture reveals only his eyes, even so, one of the very attractive eyes I have ever seen. Except for that, there was no other picture available on his site. But his eyes do the magic and we became a good friend in very short period of time.
John was a nice guy; we used to talk on various topics. The conversation between us started with formal chitchat. But our closeness developed when we started talking about movies and other hot gossips of Hollywood. Like me, John also loved to watch movies, especially movies of the great legend Johnny Depp. We used to discuss hours on him and the various characters he played in different movies. Whether it is Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean series, or the Mad Hatter in the live-action film Alice in Wonderland. In fact, it was Johnny Depp and his films which augmented my closeness with John.
“Get up Honey, it’s already 7 o’clock in the morning” – it was my hubby David. He awakened me from my sleep with a very not so special good morning kiss. He returned from his official tour, landed early morning. His job demanded frequent tours to various cities, so most of the time he was in the flying mode. I met David some 9 years ago. After a short period of courtship we got married and since then we are living under one roof with many ups and downs. David is like any typical husband who loves his job to fulfill the family needs.
“Mama, get up else we will be late today” – my 4 years old little princess Diana said in her charming voice. I spread my arms to give her a tight big hug. She is my life, love and everything for me since she took birth in this beautiful world.
She reminded me that there was a parent teacher meet at her school today and we must reach there by 9 o’clock. "Oh no – I forgot this, the meet cannot be missed anyway". - I told to myself.
Then the race began, I rushed to the washroom for freshening up and then helped Diana to get ready for the school. David went outside to grab some hot and yummy donuts from the local store for our breakfast. And by 8:10 AM we started to school on our 2015 special edition hatchback after having our breakfast.
We reached school on time and then the meeting started. The teacher showed me the progress reports of Diana. In most of the subject my sweetie was doing well, her performance was above my expectations. We also attended one seminar about the teaching methods and future plans of the school. They presented various steps taken by the school for the benefit of the students.
Finally, after the seminar we headed back to home and reached around noon, David was waiting for us for the lunch. He ordered some pizza today. We were feeling hungry by that time. So without wasting a single minute we immediately jumped to the table. And started filling our empty stomach to douse the belly fire.
After having the delicious pizza, David left home to visit the insurance company. He is very particular about important papers and documents whether that is for family or the vehicle. He never forgets to renew the family insurance policies, even the car insurance.
I sat on the couch to take some rest. My phone was lit up with a message, “Where were you, Jessica, I was waiting for you at the restaurant”. Oh no, it was John’s message. I was completely forgotten to meet him today. I was feeling guilty that I kept him waiting in the restaurant.
I sent apologies to him stating that how much I was busy today in the school with my daughter. Along with some gloomy emojis to present my actual feelings. The emoticons are one of the greatest discoveries made in our age to express our feelings. I was feeling very bad to keep him waiting at the restaurant. I could have informed him before, but due to my carelessness, he was waiting all the time there waiting for me.
I was impressed the way John tackled the things. He was very happy to know that I was with my kid at the school. He loves kids and encourages parents to be at their kid’s side whenever they need. This is not happening with many kids nowadays, as parents are busy in their own life. Often children feel lonely at many places. Which leaves a negative impact on their little hearts. Then the whole afternoon we talked about parenting and child’s psychology.
After the call, I went to the kitchen to prepare something for the dinner. As David was in the town so thought to prepare something that he likes to eat. These days David used to criticize my cooking ability. Whenever I prepared something else out of his list of favorite foods he feels very upset.
I was still thinking about John, the way he took the matter today and understood my situation very well. I remembered one similar incident happened in the first year of our marriage. I kept David waiting for more than an hour outside a movie theater. We had planned to watch a movie together. But due to some work at the office, I was late by an hour and reached when the movie was about to start. He was so angry by that time that instead of watching the movie we fought for hours inside the theater.
David came back home late in the evening, he ate his dinner with his friends tonight. I was waiting for him with his favorite foods. “Am I a fool David, I was waiting for you but you had your dinner with your friends. At least you could have informed me once.” – I shouted to David. And he responded saying that what the big deal if he spent some time with his friends. Then the argument grows like a volcano and we fought for a good amount of time till we slept.
The after effects of last night fight ruined the beautiful sunny morning. David left for his workplace without breakfast. I was also feeling upset, so decided to take a break from the work to rest at home.
What happened last night between David and me was very common these days. For last one year it was increasing, sometimes we even argue on trivial issues to make a mountain from the mole. Didn’t know what was happening to our relationship? Those nasty fights sometimes forced me to think about the separation to end our 8 years long married life.
Those days David was super busy with his work since he got promoted to area sales manager. Most of the time he traveled to different cities promoting his company’s brand value. I was understanding his situation and also supports his demanding work life. But we also wanted some quality family time to spend with him. Diana also used to complain that he was not giving enough time to her.
My phone rang; it was john at right time, a much-needed relief from all those sadistic thoughts. John was smart to judge my mood and asked the reason. Though I little hesitated to share with him, but couldn’t control myself. And told him the last night incident as well as the changing equation of my relationship with David.
But to my surprise, John didn’t take the advantage of the situation. He didn't even try to speak against my hubby instead, he tried to make me understand the situation of David.
“Do you know David, are you his friend. Why are you saying in his favor?” – I asked John.
“No, but I can understand his situation. He is recently got promoted to his new role. And to sustain and succeed at that position he needs to put extra effort in his work. Though it is upsetting you but after all, he is doing all these things for you and the family” - John replied. I didn’t have any arguments to take on John that time, so I rested my case.
Later John changed the topic and shared some funny stories and incidents to uplift my mood. Feeling relaxed and cheerful. We spoke at length on various topics. I asked him – “Can we meet today for a coffee?”
“Sorry, Jessica. I am busy today, we can plan sometime later this week”- John replied. I felt sad – “Do you have a similar job like David? - I asked John. He didn’t give me a straight answer but said sorry for his inability to meet.
After the call, I switched on the TV to watch some program. I was still thinking about the way John consoled me today. I found many similarities between him and David. Though David was a changed man now but earlier he used to be like John. Whenever I was sad on any issue he used to consoles me with similar jokes and stories to uplifts my mood. Whenever he was out of the city for his office work, we used to spend several hours over phone and messages.
“Oh My God... David also like Johnny Depp, same as John ... what a coincidence!!! How come I forgot that” – I told to myself. In the initial years of our marriage, we never missed any opportunity to watch any of Johnny Depp’s movies. We used to discuss hours on the different characters he played in his movies.
Things became more confusing for me. How come David and John have so many things in common? How both of them have so many things alike? Their style of talking, cheering me to uplift my mood etc. It became a big puzzle for me.
I was feeling restless now; as I wanted to solve that big mystery at any cost. Somewhere in one corner of my heart, I was feeling that there is a very strong link between John and David. I grabbed my laptop to open John’s social account. Once his profile opened I jumped to his friend list to see whether David is there. But to my dismay, David was not on his friend's list.
I tried to scrutinize all the post and other information of his account. But still, I couldn’t find anything out of that. Suddenly my eyes glued to the only picture John posted on his profile. His profile picture - his two eyes, I felt that I have seen them before somewhere else, but where? I was trying to remember where I had seen those eyes before.
I jumped from my couch and rushed to the bedroom to pull David’s old photo albums from the cupboards. Then turned the pages to see David’s young day’s photos.
“Oh My God”... I yelled. “Oh no... How come it possible...? Am I a big stupid...” I told to myself. It was the same eyes ... Yes!! It was David’s eyes when he was in school. A pair of very innocent and attractive eyes I have ever seen in my life.
“Am I falling in love with the same guy again?” - My heart was beating fast; I was hearing the heartbeats loud and clear.
“Is David and John are the same guy? Has David created this fake profile only for me?” - Many such questions came to my mind.
I controlled my emotions and tried to think it from all angle. “Why David was doing this instead of talking to me if he wants to sort out the things between us?”- I told to myself.
Actually, David was not the only culprit in our sour relationship. Somehow I was also responsible for the same. It was not that David was only busy those days and not giving time to our relation. I too was busy those days by playing the role of mother as well as working woman.
Was that the reason whenever John calls me the sound quality was not so clear? Was David disguising his voice to become John for me? And was that the reason why John always calls me when David was not at home. Things were becoming clearer for me, I was quite sure that John doesn’t exist at all, it was David.
The bell rang, this time it was not the phone but the door bell. David came back from his work. I pretended to be normal as if nothing I know. He also didn’t say anything and went to the washroom for freshening up.
I picked up his bag from the table and searched all over. And as per my expectation, I found another phone from his bag. I want to see the chat messages quickly but it was locked with passwords.
“Oh no... What can I do now...” – it was a big disappoint for me. “What will be the password?” – I asked to myself.
“Jessica” - Yes, I typed in my name as the password. Whoa... it worked!! I looked at all the messages on the chat window. I heard David was opening the washroom's door and coming towards the bedroom.
Upon seeing the phone at my hand, he stands quietly without uttering any word. He might not have thought that his secret would be revealed so early. He still stands standstill with his eyes looking to the floor.
I went closer to him; still, he was not looking at me. Without saying anything I gave him a big hug. Tears were rolling down from my eyes. David spreads his arms slowly around me and tightly hugged me. We silently stood in each other arms without saying anything. Sometimes silence says everything more than any word.
Every relationship has those tough times. Impossible to sail your boat without facing the waves. It is very easy to give up at any point, but an honest try can do the magic to rejuvenate the relationship. It is true that after some time many couples lacks interest in each other. And then they look outside to add the spice in their life. But the real victims in those relations are the innocent children.
Disclaimer- "The story, all names, characters, and incidents in this story are fictitious. Any apparent similarity to real persons is not intended by the author and is pure coincidence."