- Gender and Relationships»
My First Love is Now My Husband
How To Marry the Right Person
I had turned 13 four months prior to meeting my husband. CW was 14. No, we didn't get married at that age but we did fall in love.
Our family moved around alot due to my father's job so I thought that this was just another move. I had no idea what an impact this would be on my life.
My family and I attended a small Baptist church in New Jersey. My father's job kept the family moving every 2-3 years. He was a senior systems analyst with his company and whenever a new system was implemented in another location, my father was assigned to "work out the bugs".
We had moved to New Jersey from Alabama and it was quite a culture shock. I had been raised to say "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" and "yes sir" and "no sir" and there was none of this talk in NJ. We were laughed at(in a good manner) for this. To this day, I still have my southern sayings.
I happened to be babysitting for the Adult Bible Study on Tuesday nights at the Pastor's home. This one particular Tuesday night, I had the kids all downstairs and we were getting ready for an activity when HE walked in! Now this is 1974-guys having long hair was in vogue. So a guy walks down into the basement with long red hair, wearing a blue jean denim jacket, and smelling of Marlboro's. I was hooked! Since we were the only two people over the age of 8 we started chatting. The first thing in my head was "Where did you come from because you were NOT in Sunday services!" He related that his mom and stepdad had started attending our church and since he was a minor he had to come to this. We decided to take the kids to the park and feed the ducks. He told me he would get the door for us. When he opened the door, I expected to walk out first but NO-he walked out in front of me! I took this as a challenge and was determined to change him.
We had a tumultuous relationship for the 18 months that we lived there. He would like me, and then dump me and then like me and then dump me. We even attended a church camp one year where he stayed in the restricted swimming area with me because I wasn't a strong swimmer. He was a strong swimmer and could swim anywhere in the camp lake but he chose to swim with me. One winter church camp we went to I had gone swimming and he wanted to do something else so he agreed to meet me in an hour. I finished my swimming(inside of course-this is winter in the Poconos) and waited for him-outside! Big mistake! My hair froze and I wasn't far from it. When he finally showed up, I was mad until he smiled at me and kissed me. That melted any frostiness or frozen hair!
Then came the day I had to move. He did come by to say goodbye and our passions had cooled but it was still bittersweet to say goodbye.
Fast forward 5 years. I had moved to NC and was working in a hospital ER as a clerk. There was a male nurse working there and we fell for each other. He was older than me which only made him more desirable. We became engaged and was looking at a November wedding.
I started receiving mail from this boy from my past. He had joined the Army and asked permission to write me. I didn't think that anything would become of it since I had a new beau so we started writing. Within the first couple of letters from him, he asked how I would feel about being an Army wife. I was not engaged when these letter started but it was getting close. I replied that with him in Germany, I didn't think it would work. Letters get crossed in the mail and the next day I received a letter asking how I felt about having Army brats. I again declined. He tried once more by sending me a love filled letter and when I received it, I had just gotten engaged so I had to tell this boy/man from my past that I was going to marry someone else.
Time passed and he met someone and married her. They had a son together and we lost contact with each other.
Fast forward 27 years. I had been a nurse, a waitress, joined the US Army and was a medic, had worked on an adolescent psychiatric unit as the night RN supervisor, went to school for massage therapy and esthetician and was living in FL. I had had three failed marriages and was happy being single. I had joined classmates.com and was enjoying looking up some former friends. I received an email from this man from my past and was floored. I looked up his profile and there he was! The same guy that had taken my breath away as a 13 year old was taking my breath away as a 40 year old. He told me about his son and a foster son that had cerebral palsy that he was raising. His wife had left him although she would never give any concrete idea why-just that she wasn't happy with him.
He left his phone number in a message for me and I called him. His exwife had left her voice on his answering machine so I treded lightly and told him who I was and if he wanted to call back I left my number. I happened to have a date that night and when the phone rang, I left the machine pick it up. However when HIS voice came on, I immediately informed my date that I had to answer the call. We made arrangements to talk the next day and I couldn't get my date out of my place fast enough! The butterflies were churning already!
The next day when he called, we talked for 3 hours! We reminisced about our times together in 1974 to what had been happening in our lives up until the present. Since he lived in GA and I lived in FL we decided to meet again. We set up the date and time in 3 weeks.
In those three weeks, I made sure that I looked my best. I was already attending the YMCA and doing water aerobics but I stepped it up. I attended a few more work outs and since I worked in a hair salon, I made sure my hair was just right. I knew my skin looked great-I better-I was the esthetician!
I had made it a policy that I would get myself flowers every week. It was one of those things that you do for your own self esteem-I worked hard and I was going to reward myself. I was making great money and had no credit cards, just rent and a car payment and incidentals so I had the money. On the day that we were to meet, I went to our local grocery store and bought myself a "white" bouquet-all white flowers. There were other color selections but I chose white.
We had agreed to meet after I finished work on Sunday. My boss and I were the only two that worked on Sundays. Normally beauty establishments are closed on Sundays and Mondays and we work Tuesdays through Saturdays giving us those two days off as our weekends. So I was going to be off on Monday and Tuesday of that week to get reacquainted with CW. I had told my boss about this meeting and she jokingly said, "Now you're not going to run away with him, right? You are bringing in too much revenue for the shop and I don't want to loose you!" I assured her that this was just to have some chuckles with and move on. I was NOT interested in any long term relationships. I was never, never, never, ever going to get remarried! Been there, done that, bought the Tshirt, need no more souvenirs!
I happened to being doing a facial on a good friend when the appointed time came for CW to show up. I was just finishing when I heard the door chime and heard his voice! Quivers came over me and my friend gently chided me and told me not to cut her time short just so I could see him. Well, I took a little extra time finishing-I was going to make him wait for me! I had her walk out and check him out to let me know if it was a go or no go. She looked out and looked back and gave me the "thumbs up" sign.
When I walked out to greet him, he had the same exact bouquet for me that I had just bought that morning. Now there were several stores in my town that sold bouquets on Sundays but he had chosen the same exact store and same exact bouquet. Hint #1.
I had made dinner at my apartment and we listened to albums on my stereo. Yes, I had a working turntable-still do. We conversed and reminisced until the wee hours. He had booked a hotel room which I though was very gallant- most men would assume they would be sleeping at my place. Since I basically had an efficiency there was no place for him to sleep except with me and that wasn't happening! So we said our good nights and made our plans for the next 2 days.
Unfortunately, he couldn't stay the two days and I had already purchased tickets for us to go see a Murder Mystery Comedy Show and tickets to Universal/Islands of Adventure. So we decided to go to the Comedy show. We had a blast and he commented upon how less shy I was. Well that's what happens when you age 27 years!
to be continued...