- Gender and Relationships»
My First Love is Now My Husband Part III
"You made me love you-I didn't wanna do it, I didn't wanna do it" should be my theme song.
I wasn't very good at remaining married. I had married and divorced 3 times plus had a couple serious relationships that lasted anywhere from 1-4 years. I cannot say that it was always the man's faults that the marriages and relationships didn't last. There are always three sides to every story-mine, yours and someone in the middle is the truth. I am not going into details about abuse or affairs or other causes for break ups of relationships. I had a lot of growing to do, to find out who I really was and thought that I needed to be alone to figure myself out.
Like I said before, I was living the single life in Central Florida. I had a nice efficiency apartment, a decent car and a great job. I went out when I wanted to, I ate where I wanted to and watched the TV programs I wanted. If I wanted to take off for a trip, I didn't have to consult anyone or try to mesh the dates and places. The last thing I was looking for was a man.
When CW came back into my life, I knew that there was something very special between us-something that even 27 years couldn't keep us apart. I fell in love with him all over again and things became serious. I knew that I was probably throwing all caution to the wind, but this life is not a dress rehearsal-you can't get a "do-over".
I visited CW one weekend and he wanted me to take a ride with him to pick up a watch at a jewelry store. When we walked in, a couple of the clerks scurried away but my radar didn't go off. As I was standing there, looking at all the pretties in the cases, a clerk walked up and handed CW a package. Now, something started clicking. I turned around to face him and he went down on one knee. He reached for my hand and opened up this little box. Then he popped the question "Will you marry" and before he could say "me", I said YES!. He started to place this ring on my right hand and I quickly gave him my left. He had designed this ring for me. It was in the shape of a flower with a diamond center stone and 4 Mozambican garnets(my birth stone).
I went back to Central Florida and went to work on Tuesday. I didn't announce it to anyone because everyone at the hair salon knew that I was never, never, never, ever going to remarry. It was the nail technician who noticed my hand and in a loud voice said "Is that an engagement ring?" I replied that yes it was and my boss told me, in no uncertain terms, that I was not allowed to marry and move away. I was their esthetician and was bringing in as much or maybe even more money than the stylists were. I promised her that I wasn't even thinking of anything-that I had just gotten engaged.
CW was getting ready to start a new job in Southern GA and was looking for a place to live. It would have been too long of a commute from Central FL to Southern GA so we decided to move in together. I also neede to find a new job as well.
In this little town, there was a day spa and they needed a massage therapist. I had attended school and received my degree with Massage Therapy and Esthetician. I had filled out an application and was going to go for an interview in a couple of weeks.
I had come down to Southern GA the day before my interview and spent the night in a hotel. I got up the next morning and realizing that there was not an ironing board or iron in the hotel, I called CW and asked if I could use his. He said no problem.
He left for work and I went over to get ready. His ex wife was supposedly out of town working and CW assured me there I would be safe. So I set up the iron and ironing board.
Suddenly I heard a car pulling into the driveway. I looked out of the window and didn't recognize the vehicle. I quickly ran into the bedroom and locked the door. It was CW's ex wife! She had come to use the computer to write her book. I was trapped! Well, she didn't recognize my car because it had FL license plates on it. She tried to get in the bedroom door and said "Excuse me- but I need to get in there" No way was I going to let her in! I immediately phoned CW and asked what to do. He called his mother, who happened to live around the corner and CW rang his house again. I let the answering machine pick it up and HER voice was the greeting! She had moved out and was supposed to be out of town so why was HER voice on the message? Anyway, CW pleaded with her to pick up the phone and talk to him so he could explain the situation. She refused and kept working on the computer. About this time, his mother showed up and knocked on the door. CW's ex wife answered the door and asked what his mother was doing there. "Is she afraid that I'm going to scratch her eyes out?" His mother replied, "Well, I'm here to make sure that you don't"
I sent out a hasty prayer. "God if You want me and CW to be together, You need to make this woman leave!" Within 15 seconds after I prayed that, she walked out of the door! You guessed it-this was the third fleece!
The divorce went through about 8 months later and she came to the house to tell us. She made it out that she and their son was there to tell us about a sports banquet that they had just come from. I asked her if there was anything else that she wanted and she replied "Oh yeah. This came on Monday and I thought you'd like to know".
We had already applied for the license and had taken the required blood tests(in 2003 GA still required blood tests) and were just waiting for the divorce so we could marry. We went to see the judge on that Thursday and asked when she could perform the ceremony. Actually, CW asked her when she went to lunch. She told him that she would be available at 1330 that day. This was at 1130. So I had 2 hours to get myself ready, get our best man out of school(his son), and get my maid of honor(his mother) to the courthouse.
We had no problem with the dress or flowers-they had been waiting for 8 months. Getting the son out of school was no problem-what kid wouldn't want to ditch school? However, finding the maid of honor was something different. She had gone to a Bible Study that day and wasn't home. We had been calling and leaving messages(she didn't have a cell phone) but no answer. I told CW that were were going to drive over there on our way to the courthouse. When we arrived, she also arrived. There I was, in my wedding dress and my hair up and she wanted to know what was happening. I told her to get in the car that we were going to the courthouse. She said that she needed to go inside and get changed. I told her she looked fine and that I was the bride!
When we arrived at the courthouse at 1330, the office had been transformed into a little chapel. There were candles lit and the smell of roses was overwhelming. Only one slight problem-my flowers were fake so where did the aroma originate? It was God blessing our union!
We will be celebrating nine years married in May. We have been at each others sides at least eight of those years 24/7 because we drive truck across the country as a team. He is my best friend, my counselor, confidant, partner in crime, my lover and my better half. He does complete me and with him, I feel like the safest, most cherished woman in the world. Do we have fights? Yes, what couple doesn't? But we are committed to our marriage and to each other. We have a covenant marriage, not a contractual one. He is the head of our house and I am a submissive wife-the only Biblical way that marriage will last.
So, if you are alone and thinking about an old high school or even earlier flame, look them up. You never know-it may lead you to marrying your first love!