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My Girlfriend's Friend

Updated on September 10, 2012

For Paulgc


This must be driving you nuts at the moment,huh? What kind of strain does this certain friend puts in your relationship with your girlfriend? Is this friend a 'she'? Assuming it's the same one you describe as being psychotic, on medication and a social disaster. Through your reference of her; I suppose, this friend of hers does not have many (true) friends.

Paulgc, this is my opinion and it is just that.

You love your girlfriend, obviously. And she likes this person. Could it be compassion or an ability to empathize with this friend of hers that she is able to embrace a friendship with her? It seems that you are unable to accept her (now) and appear to be afraid of her; in terms of her influence in your relationship? Maybe you are embarrassed by her presence? Or is it that you just don't trust your girlfriend's judgment enough?

There are many types of people with differing abilities. Your girlfriend may be the kind that tends to understand instead of discriminate others (as you put it, crazy people in the world).

We don't have to like ALL of our girlfriend's friends; we just have to make sure 'the friend' treats HER well, truly care and genuinely love HER as a friend.

I believe you already have the answer but still needs a little processing. Your question is: What do I do?

AS LONG AS her friend is not getting her to do things she shouldn't be doing and this friend of hers is not a harmful threat..

Let her have her freedom of friends, for her to shine; her space, for her to grow. Love: respect, support, understanding, and care always prevails.


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  • greeneryday profile image

    greeneryday 5 years ago from Some tropical country

    Very thoughtful and wise, and you are right as long as you can trust your girlfriend and let her know that she will never get influenced by her friend in a way that may harm your relationships or turn your girl against you then you might need to respect her decision... as you said it's all about support, understanding, and care... I hope your girlfriend will treat you the same way...

  • SweetiePie profile image

    SweetiePie 5 years ago from Southern California, USA

    I think Paul is a good guy because he is worried about the type of friends his girlfriend has, but I also think the girlfriend might be drawn to these people for a reason. Another thing to suggest to Paul is to plan more couple centric trips and outings that will not involve these people. Perhaps plan a romantic vacation to Hawaii and really talk this up, and what you will do. Do you love this girl enough to marry her? Maybe start talking about plans for the future and such. I know as a woman even if I had been dating a guy a bit longer than a new friend, I am more likely to invest in the friendship because that will last, and relationships do not always. Maybe Paul should consider talking future plans over with the girlfriend, which will redirect her attentions to other things than friends he thinks are not good for her.

  • profile image

    paulgc 5 years ago

    Hello ginjill,

    Thank you for writing this hub in response to my question. I have read what you have to say and i agree with your last statement, as long as this person is not getting my girlfriend to do things she don't want to do then i will defo give her her space. By the way, the other person is a girl so there's no awkward other guy type jealousy thing going on.

    Thanks again, will vote up and useful. :)