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My Husband Cheated On Me - What Should I Do?

Updated on October 14, 2013

Infidelity in marriage

Believe it or not, but infidelity in marriage is quite common.The divorce rates seem to be skyrocketing these days, compared to what they were at before. Look at some of the statistics below:

  • In 1950, the divorce rate was at 10%
  • Today, the divorce rate is at 20%
  • Lack of commitment is the #1 reason for divorce.
  • Infidelity is the #2 reason for divorce.


If your husband cheated on you, know that you aren’t the only one going through this. While you feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest, there is still hope for the marriage. However, it depends on the circumstances of your relationship. Are the two of you very close or do you feel as if you are falling apart? Often when men cheat on their wives, it is because they feel as if there is something missing in the relationship. It’s not about “action in the bed” all the time. Actually, there are some guys who cheated on their wife just because she wasn’t paying enough attention to him. At other times, men are seduced by women or just make a drunken mistake if they happened to be at a bar/dance club. You really need to look closely into your situation first.

Why did my husband cheat on me?

This is the first thing a woman will ask after discovering her husband cheated on her. Here are a few reasons why men cheat:


Marriage Problems

Not all marriages seem perfect. Often, verbal fights breakout that are left unresolved. This pattern can become worse over time, especially if the two do not work together to mend their issues. In this type of scenario, either the man or women will flee. However, when men feel trapped, they will simply cheat instead of leaving.


Boredom

If your man used to lead an exciting life out with the guys, meeting different girls, and having fun, you might be in trouble. He feels that the marriage is no fun because there are no more sparks left. He wants a “fresh” experience with another woman whom be barely knows, because it is so exciting. You can introduce some roleplay, watch funny movies together, or spend time in general in order to stop this.


Addiction to sexuality

Yes, some men are just addicted to sex. These are the guys that you have to watch out for. They can’t get enough of it - even if it’s not with their wife. They have had sex with many other women before meeting the wife. However, they feel trapped being with the same person. In this case, you will need some serious marriage counseling. Another way to get out of this is by experimenting with him in the bed. Add some excitement and he won’t wander.


Emotional dissatisfaction

If a wife is working too much or she is way too involved with the kids, men can become depressed and feel as if they aren’t loved. Try taking some time to talk to him. Otherwise, he’ll take up any woman who gives him even a small grain of attention. You need to acknowledge your guy and let him know you appreciate him.

Signs your husband is cheating

Notice some particular signs that your husband is cheating on you? Maybe you aren’t 100% sure. If your suspicion is raised, this is a red flag. Often, as women - we are always right when it comes to cheating. Here are a few signs you should look at:


  • When you come in the room, he hides whatever it is he is doing on the computer. He closes the laptop and even clears the cookies sometimes.


  • You aren’t allowed to touch his phone. He forbids you from this and has even gone to the extremes of adding a password.


  • He never used to wear cologne or comb his hair that often. Now he does the whole nine yards before “going back” to work. Really, who’s he trying to impress?


  • Your husband is addicted to dirty magazines or anything that is not considered appropriate online - if you know what we mean…

  • The two of you no longer talk. Communication has faded away, unless you need to bring up conversation on the kids, rent, or car payment.

The Cheating Poll

Have you ever been cheated on before?

See results

How to overcome cheating in a marriage

One of the hardest things to overcome in marriage is cheating. You don’t feel as close to him as you were before, you are heartbroken, and also disappointed. Mending things back together won’t be easy. However, there are a couple things you can do to help this:


  • Have the talk with your husband. Ask him why he did this to you and find out if he really wants to stay. Some men are afraid to tell their wives they want a divorce but you need to know this instead of being unhappy.


  • Make an appointment to see the marriage counselor. There are thousands of people who have made their relationship strong, thanks to a counselor. The point of this is to open up communication, especially if the husband is unwilling to discuss things at home.


  • Go out together. Form a bond, even if you know he did you wrong. Maybe he has a good reason - because you weren’t giving him attention. Men can get lost and it isn’t always their fault. Most likely he doesn’t care about the other woman. He’d run to you if you just give him some time.

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