My List of Unneeded Things
I just been chilling, reclining and thinking of how great it was to dine on this, the Fourth of July, 2012. What a needed-event in our list of days to celebrate. And for a great reason: Our freedoms that we should thank God for each day, and not be like me, foolishly take them for granted.
Americans "need" the Fourth of July and Labor Day, maybe not like a rose needs the dew in the early morning, but close in the proximity of the "needed things" we love and cherish.
Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Day, Easter, our Jewish friends' holidays, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, and of course, our birthdays, anniversaries and those not-so-noted "national" this or that day in America are all part of the big picture. For everyone, there is a day to celebrate someone or something. That's great to me. To repeat, I think we "need" these days to remind us of how important people in our world really are.
Then there are the "Unneeded Things," that I am going to list for you now and without any spark of cordiality. Sorry, but I am in a bad mood, well not a bad mood (a salute to Alvy "Mr. Kimbell," Green Acres Moore), but a pretty sour mood I can tell you.
Just look around you. There are more "unneeded things than there are "needed things." I am not going to wager, for some wise guy with an I.Q. of 245, would prove me wrong and I would look foolish. Not happening. Now. Or later.
This list of things is far worse than my hub, "Things That Bother Me," for those things on that hub only bothered me. These unneeded things make my blood boil with anger.
Here is just a small sample of the "Unneeded Things," I mean . . .
See this man with the flute and acoustic guitar?
1.) ACOUSTIC GUITAR in a rock and roll band like Motley Crue or KISS. On stage you have enough amplifiers to shatter windows in the next county, and there is always this one guy with an acoustic guitar (and a flute because he is sensitive) just playing his heart out, but honestly, no one can hear him. Not even the band's personnel. He got his job by being related to the lead singer. Plain and simple.
Here are a few more "Unneeded Things" for your approval . . .
2.) PLASTIC FORKS AND KNIVES that you always get at Kentucky Fried Chicken. Although this is a highly-commendable gesture, but does anyone really use them? No. Customers wait until they get home, unpack the wings, thighs, and breasts and head for their own silverware drawer. KFC could save a fortune alone just one plastic cutlery.
3.) PAPER HATS that most fast-food employees are "told" to wear. Why not a fashionable cap or hat? No, these fast-food giants are "straining every gut" to save a penny here and a nickel there. Personally, I would rather see a fast-food employee in a stylish hat.
4.) COLORFUL PLASTIC STREAMERS that car dealers used to have strung all over their car lot. Pretty to look at, but a pain if you aren't watching your step and catch one in your throat. Talk about pain. Then the car dealer dishes out even more pain on you with his "lowest" price on a six-year-old Buick.
Wooden tongue depressors
5.) DIRECTIONS on toothpaste tubes. Does anyone actually take time to read these things? No. What person does not know the mechanics of a toothpaste tube? You pick it up, untwist the lid, squeeze tube at bottom laying one dab of toothpaste on your toothbrush and "go to town." When finished, wash the toothbrush, put it back in the pretty pink toothbrush holder underneath the mirror, put cap back on toothpaste and you are out of there. But what if a foreign country was secretly using the "directions area" of your toothpaste box to send dangerous messages to their spies in our country? Next time you brush, read the box first.
6.) HITCH-HIKER'S PROFANITY when he doesn't catch a ride. Talk about a waste of breath and energy. Did you, "Mr. Vagabond," think by cursing the car that blew dirt on you with the wind as it passed you up would somehow cause the next motorist to stop and ask, "need a ride, buddy?"
7.) MOTORISTS who ask, "need a ride, buddy?" Now what do you think, "Mr. American Motorist?" You see a guy on the side of the highway with a U.S. Army duffle bag filled with his clothes, shoes and food and standing with his right thumb in the air. What else could this guy want? For you to stop and check-out the neat scar he has from a knife fight he was involved with in Abilene, Texas? No, buddy. A ride.
8.) SUPERMAN'S always-predictable catch-phrase, "this is a job for Superman," well would it make any difference to say, just once, "this looks tough, but I can manage?" Or, "look out, citizens! Superman's taking off!" And those "fake" horn-rim's that Clark Kent wears when he isn't being Superman. Why can't Lois Lane, as smart as she is, just flirt with Clark and gently remove those needless spectacles? What's Clark going to do, beat her u?
9.) BACK-UP SINGERS with huge bands such as the once-famous Chicago. You have 12 musicians, plus a percussion section, and way in the back of the last row of amp's, you see four beautiful girls who work as back-up singers and even with microphones, you cannot hear them. I have but one question. Why?
The proverbial "second place" trophy
10.) RENTAL PROPERTY that the owner shows you and then asks, "do you cook your own food?" You reply, "wy' yes, I do." The apartment owner says, "sorry. No cooking in this apartment." But why is the fully-functional stove still here? Did you forget to have it taken out, "Ms. Landlord?"
11.) CAMO CELL PHONE covers. This one really sucks. What is the point of having a cell phone cover in camouflage? Are you that afraid that a big buck will jump out of the bushes, grab your cell phone and high-tail it out of the woods and leave you with tons of "roaming charges?"
12.) DEER COCAINE being spread in the forest to attract deer. What is deer cocaine? In the south, sporting goods and hunting supply companies make a ton of money off of this sweet product that is very addictive to any deer with a dependant personality. The deer eats the cocaine, then is hooked. He comes back for more and a hunter is waiting for him. I pity the poor deer who will soon be the victim of a very lazy hunter.
Look at this two-story firehouse
Now this is just my opinion. Would it not make more sense and be more effective to have one-story firehouses so all of the firemen (and women) who are on-duty, to sleep and keep watch at ground level? This to me, is more efficient and smooth because on the second-story you still have to dress in fireman gear then slide down the brass pole to the awaiting firetruck. This way, you are there at the truck. The only thing the firemen (and women) need to do is dress and get ready to ride.