ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

No Man's Land

Updated on August 8, 2013

Near my new home

Near the river mouth.
Near the river mouth. | Source
Boat at anchor
Boat at anchor | Source
Beach at low tide
Beach at low tide | Source

Learning "Man Tasks"

Some would say it is my own fault - after nearly 50 years of marriage I chose to leave. I was desperately unhappy and suicidal, and could see no other option, so to save my life I left - taking little more than a suitcase and a few boxes of precious articles. I chose to house sit for a few years while I re established my life.

I chose to study, so it was back to university which kept me busy, and did not allow me to indulge in self pity. I chose to start life again, and my mindset was very positive. I was sure I could do it. Family and friends were shocked but I have never been able to explain all of my concerns with my marriage, and I chose not to denigrate (at least not too much), my husband.

I managed to travel a bit, but after nearly 3 years on the loose, I decided to settle down. I had as luck would have it, come by some money. Not a lot - not enough to buy a house, but with a little help I could rent a modest house. Somehow I managed to find a house which was almost my dream house - an en-suite bathroom, a walk in wardrobe and a pantry in the kitchen - things I have never had.

It was some 45 minutes drive from most of the family - something that they find challenging, but I find liberating. I am more free than I imagined, and live in a small rural/beachside village, surrounded by bush, a river, creeks, and the beach. Heaven just about.

As it turns out another friend had moved here just prior to me - quite co incidental, but a pleasure for sure.

My first piece of furniture I had to buy was a bed - so the place looked rather bare, but I had plans. I visited Ikea, and other stores and purchased low cost flat packs of items - a table, two chairs, book shelves, small occasional tables, and later two single beds. My daughter came to help me put them together - but when we opened some of the boxes we found that we couldn't do anything. Most required a hammer or screwdriver, which I did not own.

After much laughter, realizing that it was an impossible task without the right tools, she departed, but a day or so later appeared with a house warming gift - my first very own hammer and screwdriver set. Her two daughters and I set about putting them together which we managed. I did laugh at some of the instructions. I found it difficult to understand some of the details, but somehow things came together.

A few weeks later, I came home with three flat backs - bookshelves from another major outlet and put them together. One I made a terrible mistake, and caused some damaged, but if I don't tell anyone, no one will know.

The lounge suite came - and I learned how to screw the four feet on each piece - though one is hardly on. I need a man's strength to get the best results.

I have a lovely outdoor area and a table and chair would enable me to eat or work out in the fresh air, so I set out to find a setting that appealed. I found a lovely glass table - at a great price, and in the store went to pick up the box. Too heavy for me. I asked the storeperson to get it, but she just scanned it, and I paid a deposit planning to pick it up later. In any case with my two passengers that day, there was no space in the car for it.

When I went to collect it, I arranged to collect it at the back of the store and go straight into my car. On my way home I was wondering how I was going to get it out of my car and into the back area of my house, but finding extra strength I lifted it out of the car and rolled the box to its destination, and on opening the box and reading the instructions I was at a loss.

What does it mean? The instructions clearly written by a Chinese man with some English challenges. "Maybe a little tight, lease be careful and in appropriate force." "You need to check and ensure the support pads (N) on table rims before assembly to ensure the stability of the glass".

There were of course diagrams that were so tiny and confusing that it was a clear challenge, but slowly, I picked my way through the strange directions and messy diagram, until I had my table completed. Success.

Challenges occur almost weekly - how do I turn on the gas? (I've never had to do it!) How do I manage the water tank? Again, I've never had instruction and it is trial and error.

I still have a few jars of jam and pickles that have refused to open for me - and I am waiting for a big strong bloke to call in. I don't know if or when one will, so I may have to pack a box and take it to my daughter's and see if her husband can help me.

Businesses take it for granted that I have a male helper - I just don't. My next door neighbour is not a well man and I would hesitate to call him in, though I know he would try.

Do I need to go to classes? Bloke classes? Perhaps use "Hire a Hubby" but with all the costs of setting up a new home I'm reluctant to spend more money unless I can earn more.

One of the other (hilarious) situations I found myself in, was when I went crabbing. Never had I had to do it alone. And when I pulled the crabpot up and found three large mud crabs in it, I didn't know how to remove them from the pot and return the two undersized ones to the water. Even my neighbour could not work out how to do it. However, a guy from a house overlooking the lake came to my rescue and midst much laughter and shrieking as the crabs waved their dangerous claws in my direction, he showed me how to do it. Now I can do it without help.

One of the things that has annoyed me is the rather strange (usually because most items are manufactured and packed in China) that the instructions are so crazy. I will be writing to one of the major suppliers about this issue. I mean, what am I supposed to make from the instructions above? A man would probably ignore all the instructions and just do it.

As I write this I don't have any more flat packs to assemble, though I won't say I will never have any more. There are a couple of items I am considering. I will have to learn to do it myself - as this is definitely "No Man's Land".

I chose freedom and it comes with challenges. I'll survive. I am a survivor!!!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Vacation Trip profile image

      Susan 

      5 years ago from India

      Wow.. Beautiful click.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)