- Gender and Relationships»
My Not-So Best Friend
"It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends." - J.K. Rowling
The famous author is definitely correct when she says it takes courage to stand up to our friends. My best friend and I have been friends for eight years. During this friendship, we dated on and off for eight years. Some of you might think, "What's the point of breaking up if you're just going to get back together again?"
I would break up with him because in my opinion, this relationship wasn't one of his priorities. Every time we made plans to hang out, he would show up three hours late. No phone call or text to let me know he's going to be late. Whenever I would get mad at him, he would say, "Why are you getting mad? You know I was going to be late."
I didn't know he was going to be late. Every time we made plans, he would decide on the time because of his busy schedule. Therefore, I made myself pretty flexible to adjust to his work schedule, but he would just take advantage of my kindness. This is how I know we really aren't best friends.
Although we have known each other for a long time and dated in that process, I know our relationship wasn't meant to last. Whenever I would talk to him about the status of our relationship, he would shrug it off or be nonchalant about it. It was as though he didn't care about me or our relationship.
I would constantly ask him, "How do you feel about me? Do you want to be in a relationship?" I asked because he would say he cared, but he never showed it. He never respected my feelings. If he did show his feelings, it was always passive aggressive.
We're best friends, we should be able to talk to one another. I guess, he was my best friend, but I wasn't his. Speaking of that, whenever we would hang out with his guy friends, he would always act as if I wasn't there. Like I wasn't his girlfriend and I was interrupting his guy time. I never discussed this with him, but it was as if he cared more about the guys than me.
For instance, if we're hanging out and one of them call, he would stay on the phone with them for at least, thirty minutes. I never complained because those are his friends and he can talk to them whenever he wants. But, sometimes, I felt as if I was second place in his life.
Again, we've been friends for a long time and I never thought I would see the day where we wouldn't be friends. But, I know in my heart, I have to end our friendship. A part of me doesn't want to, but common sense knows I should.
He is way too interested in his self and his expanding business. I am extremely happy for his success, but it has made him different. He is no longer as loving as he was when we began our relationship/friendship.
The final straw was when I went through his Instagram and saw a lot of pictures of his female friends and random females he met at the club. He didn't have not one picture of me on his page. I confronted him about it, but he said, "Those women mean nothing to me. You have nothing to worry about."
That doesn't stop me from worrying.
Up until this point, I have revealed his bad qualities. However, he is a good guy. He helps the homeless and whoever else is in need. He is always there for his friends and family. Overall, he is a caring and giving person, with a selfish attitude towards me.
The problem is no one is supportive of our relationship. Everyone, my friends and family, wanted me to end this relationship a long time ago. But, I couldn't because I know he has a good heart. Sometimes it is hard to see, but I see what they don't.
After the blatant disrespect for my patience and kindness, I decided I couldn't take anymore. I had to meditate. The answer that came to me was leave him and never look back. In my heart, I want us to stay best friends, but we can't.
I thought I knew him, but he's different. It's sad to say, but my best friend is a stranger to me now. I know he changed a long time ago, but I finally noticed.
I will always love him, but this is the end of us.