"My boyfriend cheated on me" What to do when your boyfriend cheats on you
"My boyfriend cheated on me" are the dreaded words which every girl wishes that she will never have to say. This article promises to stay away from vague words of advice and focus on being real. Getting over the fact that your guy has just slept with another girl can be hard, but you can, and must learn how to come to grips and cope up with the emotional trauma. Here's what to do when your boyfriend cheats on you.
1) Breakup with him immediately
Regardless of how long it has been since you started going out with your boyfriend, or how strong your bond is, there is virtually no excuse for cheating on you. One of the first things you should do is tell him that your relationship is over. Whether or not you decide to patch up with him later is a separate issue, but for the time being he should get the message loud and clear – it's over!
2) Revenge may not be the sweetest thing
"I'll get back to him by sleeping with someone else" If a thought like this is in your mind, stop and calm down. While revenge can be sweet at times, this is not how you want to deal with a cheating partner. Your decision of getting back at him by sleeping with someone else or having a one night stand, it may be the worst decision of your life. Don't let yourself fall to his level.
3) Don't feel less sexy – You're beautiful
It is only natural for a girl to feel less sexy or less beautiful just because her boyfriend cheated on her. Are you feeling the same way? If you are, one of the first things you should remember is that if Jesse James can cheat on a beautiful woman like Sandra Bullock, anything is possible. You could be the most beautiful, pretty and sexy girl on this planet, but your boyfriend may still cheat on you with another girl. Cheating is his problem, not yours. So don't ever belittle yourself by feeling less beautiful.
4) Don't get violent or physical with him
While you may feel like grabbing the first object that comes to your hand and smashing it over his head for his selfish act, you must remember that being violent or having a physical confrontation is not the way to go. Besides the duh fact that violence is unlawful, you may scar your emotional well being for life if you have a physical confrontation. So whenever you feel like giving him a tight slap across his face, walk away and feel good in knowing that you have taken the high road.
5) Don't feel guilty for his mistake
If your boyfriend is trying to blame you for his cheating, feel free to give him a tap on the back of his head to remind him that his cheating ways are in no way a result of your actions. It does not matter if the two of you were having fights nor does it make any difference if the two of you aren't having a good chemistry in bed. No excuse is ever good enough for him to be in bed with a girl behind your back. So if you are feeling pangs of guilt and in some ways believe that you could vaguely be responsible for the fallout, give yourself a wakeup call and be reminded that it's not your fault.
6) Don't be fake and act like you don't care
If you think that trying to act like you don't care and being all bubbly just to try to show your boyfriend that you are cool about the entire episode will make him feel jealous or make him want you back, step back and calm down. While it's great to hide your emotions, showing him that you don't care about your relationship and trying to appear happy and normal may not work in your best interest. In fact, it may make him think "Wow, she doesn't care. If this is how she feels, I'm glad I cheated on her" just because he doesn't see an ounce of sadness on your face. So if you are unhappy, sad and angry about how he has cheated on you, don't be shy and afraid of showing your emotions.
7) Take your best friend with you and go shopping
While it is only natural to feel like sinking into your couch and spending the rest of your life doing nothing but lay low, it is important that you step outside. While you may hear your friends asking you to hang out over even go to parties to get over your cheating boyfriend, Princesswithapen knows that it is easier said than done. An easy way to get out is to go shopping with your bff. Go out and shop for a few things that you love, whether it is a nice pair of denims, a pair of shoes, a few accessories or even a handbag. Shopping will definitely make you feel good and just the whiff of the typical fragrance of a retail outlet or a mall should be enough to lift your spirits, if only for a few moments.
8) Cry it out – You will not be any less strong
Don't ever listen to a cold hearted person asking you to stop crying and just learning how to get over him. It is absolutely natural and okay to cry. You will not become less strong of a woman if you cry. In fact, crying is an awesome emotional outlet and sometimes, you just need to let it all out before you realize that you have to stop crying because your tears are just not worth him, or your relationship.
9) Lean on your friends and family
Being cheated on is probably one of the most harrowing emotional experiences any girl can go through. The feeling is that of a dagger going through the heart, well, maybe even worse. If your boyfriend has cheated on you, you are likely to be in a state of mess – emotionally and physically. Don't feel shy or afraid to take emotional support of your close friends and even your family. Talk to your mother, sister or a close cousin. Talk to your bestie. You desperately need an emotional outlet and someone who can understand the trauma you are going through, without being judgmental. Just make sure that you pick the right person who can keep a secret, else they may end up mocking you or worse yet, end up spreading gossip about you. After all, the last thing you need right now is more pain and hurt in your life.
10) "I won't do it again" Should you believe him? Is it worth giving your relationship another try?
What will you do if your boyfriend comes to you and offers a genuine apology for his sinful act? Will you forgive him if he is on his knees and says "I won't do it ever again"? Would you be willing to give your relationship another try if he relentlessly keeps apologizing to your for weeks together?
While there is no direct answer to this mother of all messy situations, some things that you may want to consider before forgiving your boyfriend for cheating on you are
- How long has it been since you started going out with him? If it's been just a few weeks/months, it is really a no-brainer. Don't take him back.
- Does he have a past history of cheating? If you don't know that well, speak to his previous friends and find out if he has cheated on anyone previously. Like they say, old habits die hard. And if he can't help from taking his pants off at every opportunity, you should look beyond the tender feelings you have for him and refuse his apology point blank.
- What do your friends think about him? If you and your best friends think that this was a one off drunken mistake and your relationship has otherwise stood the test of time, feelings, love and lust over the years, you may want to consider a heartfelt apology.
- Is he willing to abide by certain rules moving forward? Without a doubt, you will have pangs of doubt and suspicion the next time he goes out for a night out with friends. He must be willing to deal with your insecurities and even the wackiest of suspicions that you may have about his relationship with other females.
- Does he understand that he will be in debt forever? Your generosity of giving your relationship another chance is the biggest act of forgiveness which will leave him in debt forever. He should be willing to understand and accept this.
- If you have decided to breakup with him after much consideration and thinking in a mature way, don't decide to go back on your decision. While your boyfriend may try to woo you by putting up a fake facade, you must stay away from giving into your tender emotional state of mind.
11) Don't turn to alcohol or drugs – You are not weak!
While Princesswithapen takes the chance of sounding like a doting mother giving unwanted advice, it is important to remind yourself that turning to alcohol to drown your sorrows away will not undo the fact that your boyfriend slept with another girl. Caving in to an addiction is not going to bring back the happiness in your life. Becoming weak and falling prey to a vice is not make things better. Be strong and be the beautiful girl that you've always been – stay clean, stay healthy and live your life to the fullest! You deserve all the happiness that life has to offer and this unfortunate heartbreak was just a bump on the otherwise beautiful road of life that lies ahead.