Book review: When it Rains it F-n Pours by Mirian Detres

This book is a true story about a disabled minority woman who was raised in the ghetto at a time where America was not very friendly towards women, especially minority women. It is an inspiring read, portraying the main character's struggles with drugs, homelessness, abuse, etc. and how she gets through it all. It was not easy, but she eventually did it, and achieved great success in her life. She now has a wonderful job at Queens College in NY, and a wonderful loving family and children that have grown up to be successful and happy, with guidance by their mother's love. Mirian Detres is a wonderful woman and this book is about her real life story that gives hope to anybody who has gone through a rough life, that they too can one day get through it. It could not get any worse for the main character of the book, Mirian Detres, because not only was she a woman during a time where women were repressed WAY more than they are in today’s society, but she was a minority living in the ghetto, with a disability (dyslexia), where there was no support for her whatsoever. Mirian Detres proves through her story that you can do anything you want in your life, if you try hard enough, and she certainly did. When there was no hope for this woman to go on, when she didn’t even believe in herself anymore at times, she still kept going without anyone there to help her or believe in her, but herself.

Mirian's family was of Hispanic descent and lived in the ghetto, where it is not a very pleasant place to live for anyone. The family was poor. Mirian's mother it turns out may have been mentally disabled as well which would explain why she ill treated her daughter so badly throughout her life. Detres was very close with her brother when they were little, that was all she had pretty much but unfortunately, he died at a very young age, so Mirian suffered alone without her brother, from her childhood and on. Her brother in a way, kept her going. He believed in her, and she always kept him in mind throughout her life. He was with her in spirit and helped guide her in the right direction. When her brother died, Mirian went through a lot. She no longer had her brother to be by her side. She had to go through everything alone.

Mirian had been abused in many different ways, mentally, physically and sexually throughout her life, by her own family. It amazes me that although one would think that someone who has been through all of that torture would give up, Mirian became successful and didn’t give up, even though there were many blocks in the road on the way to her success, she never gave up hope. She didn't let anybody tell her she couldn't make it. We see it all the time, someone was raised with a bad childhood so they think, f**k it, why should I even try, my life sucks anyway. But I admire Mirian for not thinking like that, because it's easier to think negatively, especially when you feel like all is lost, than it is to think positively.

Mirian Detres suffered many hardships in her life, being a dyslexic poor minority woman during the mid 1900's pretty much was a given that she was going to suffer through hard times. At that time in America, being a woman was hard enough, but being a poor minority woman, who had disability was the worst situation this poor woman had to go through, for something she had no control over whatsoever. Her very own grandmother kept her closed up in a closet for a full year all because she had curly hair and her grandmother could simply not accept that. Straight hair showed that you were white. Curly hair, according to her grandmother was something black people possessed, and her grandmother was extremely upset that Mirian did not look like a white girl. Imagine that, being a little girl and having your own grandmother be angry and discriminating towards you, just because you had curly hair? Poor little Mirian must have been so confused and thought she did something wrong, when she did not do anything wrong at all. She was just being, and happened to have curly hair, AND she got punished for it. Mind you, Mirian- was of Hispanic descent, but her skin color was very light, pretty much like my skin color and I am of Greek descent. AND I have curly hair too. I couldn't believe it when I read this. Shocking to know this book is a true story and someone actually was discriminated about the type of hair they have.

Mirian Detres was a high school dropout raised in the ghetto by her mother and father who were very unstable and unhealthy for a little girl to be around. Mirian was around dangerous and harmful situations since a little girl. Drug use was all around her, and so was abuse. Mirian’s father was very abusive towards everyone in their family, and her mother, (who it was believed by Mirian that she had a mental illness) treated Mirian pretty much like a piece of garbage. Mirian never understood why, but when she got older she realized her mother had a mental illness all along. For Mirian and her siblings, getting married seemed like the only way out of their horrible home life. So, Mirian found a man and got married at a very young age. Unfortunately, Mirian’s husband was not too different from her father. He would beat her all the time and was an avid drug user. Mirian then left him, and went through a-million-and-one obstacles in her life after this. She even ended up even being homeless, went through drug addiction, almost resorted to prostitution for money, but backed out (thank goodness!), and she was even called names in college, like stupid, by actual professors. Everyone doubted her. One would think that with all that Mirian experienced, she would have quit a long time ago. But she never quit, and she still keeps going ‘till this day. The amount of prejudice, discrimination, disrespect and abuse, both mental and physical that she experienced in her life was something no one should ever go through, but still, even through all the hardships she suffered in her life, she went on to get three Masters degrees and her PHD!

Mirian Detres became a successful woman, shared her story to others through her book and through her career as a professor. She lets students know her hardships and all she went through because it is important for students to understand that they are not alone if they feel they are going through difficult life problems. She is a woman's advocate, and has strong beliefs about abuse towards women and women in the workplace. She also has strong beliefs for people with disabilities, since she was discriminated against herself by actual professors, since she was dyslexic. She still got her PHD, even with a disability, props to her! She also works in the department for disabled students at Queens College, where she tries to help students succeed as much as she can. I admire Mirian Detres for sharing her story to the world, because going through that much in your life and then sharing the story is not easy. It must have been an emotional roller coaster for her while she was writing her book, or maybe not, I don't know. But without a doubt, it had to have been very difficult.

Reading this book led me to relate it to Dale Carnegie 's quote, “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept trying when there seemed to be no hope at all”. I absolutely love this quote, sometimes when it is needed, I look back at it and it gives me encouragement whenever I feel a little negativity slip in, or hopeless. But I snap out of it quick with this little encouragement. This quote and this book are linked because they are both inspirational and beautiful. The book shows a woman who kept trying when no one else in the world thought she had it in her.

I encourage you all to read this book, to see how anyone could really do ANYTHING, if they really put their mind to it. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes that if you keep trying at something, you are sure to get it. If you are hardworking and dedicated at it, you will get yourself what you deserve. This book does contain drug abuse among other things in the story, so be wary of letting your children get their hands on it. It may be suitable for 16 years old and on, depending on the mindset of the teen. The book definitely teaches many life lessons. It is an encouraging, inspiring and very interesting read. Once you start, I promise you won’t want to put the book down!

When reading this book, I really felt so much for the main character. She wrote it in such a way that is clear and interesting to read. Anybody can understand and really feel empathy for the main character. You feel as if your watching a movie as your reading. So many ups and downs occur throughout the book, that you can never lose interest. It portrays how hard life can be, and how anyone can get through life's hardships with a little hope and dedication. Nothing in life is easy, but remember if you have high hopes and motivation, you can do anything!

I encourage you all to read this book, to see how anyone could really do ANYTHING, if they really put their mind to it. It’s nice to be reminded sometimes that if you keep trying at something, you are sure to get it. If you are hardworking and dedicated at it, you will get yourself what you deserve. This book does contain drug abuse among other things in the story, so be wary of letting your children get their hands on it. It may be suitable for 16 years old and on, depending on the mindset of the teen. The book definitely teaches many life lessons. It is an encouraging, inspiring and very interesting read. Once you start, I promise you won’t want to put the book down!