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My man keeps me up all night... and no, not for the reasons you may be thinking of...

Updated on September 16, 2012

Who sleeps better: You or your partner?

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Roll, twist, struggle, kick, fuss, sigh.

Not gonna lie: sleep kinda sucks now that my boyfriend and I moved in together. Don't get me wrong; I love him so much, and I have so much fun with him. But once fatigue sets in at the end of the day, and we ready ourselves for sleep, I take a deep breath and expect at least 20 minutes of restlessness.

Did you know it was shown in a study that men sleep better with women than women do with men? I can believe it. I think men are much more, well, flexible with it comes to sleeping, and by flexible, I mean they're not as sensitive to movements. I'm a pretty light sleeper, and if someone blinks an eye, I think I can hear it at some creepy level. So you can imagine how well I must do with heavy breathing and coughing.

I am also the girlfriend of a hugger. He likes to hold me, which is sweet and romantic but is uncomfortable when you want to actually sleep. It gets hot and I want to shift around, but I can't because I'm stuck in a death lock, and of course he's too out of it to notice that A) It's hot, and B) I'm struggling to get out of his clutches. It's the same when he holds my hand, which is also admirable, but if I want to move, it's hard without waking him up.

He's also pretty tall and built, so he knows how to take advantage of bedspace. If I do fall asleep, I sometimes find myself looking over the side of the bed, and I look to see that I am falling off of my foot-and-a-half of sleeping area.

Snoring is another story. There are only so many times I can elbow and shove him before I give up and just get up and leave.

Yep, sometimes I will get up and sleep on the couch, after which he comes in, wakes me up, and asks me why I'm in the living room. Rubbing my eyes, I say it got too hot in the bedroom, to which he replies that it's fine and that I could come back to bed. Curses.

I should be happy that he's around so I can have the chance to sleep with him. He's such a great guy that I will do anything for him... including trying to sleep around him. What can I say?

I guess I can't complain, either; he doesn't really snore (not like my mom says my dad does, anyway), and he doesn't really move once he's out. He will just roll over, which will seriously disturb our cat. Most of the time he's like a big rock, and she will sleep on top of him without him even noticing.

I've heard that I can actually be pretty miserable to sleep around, also. Apparently I'm a sheet-stealer, and yes, I do snore. Sometimes. Guess I just can't go without a fight.


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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      You should feel lucky. I wish ny bf held me at night. He is very distant. Oh well

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Just show him this web page. That's all you have to do. Making relationships work is about communicating. You love him - but you need your sleep.


      A) Tell him

      B) Get a bigger bed

      C) Agree on snuggles and then back to back sleep

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I get the whole lot. Restless, elbows, kicking, snoring, doona stealing and hugging. He's recently taken up sleep talking as well. WHAT DO I DO???

    • glassvisage profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Northern California

      Thanks Entourage! I also just read that you should attached a tennis ball to the back of the shirt so that it is uncomfortable to roll onto their back so they stay on their side.

    • Entourage_007 profile image


      8 years ago from Santa Barbara, CA

      Have you tried chamomile or peppermint tea, it may not be a sure fix but it helps me clear my nasal passages and opens up my throat. Its also very relaxing

    • rmr profile image


      11 years ago from Livonia, MI

      I'm afraid I'm the bad guy, here. I slept on the sofa for several years, as my snoring could just about wake people on the next block. Turned out to be a bad case of sleep apnea. I had it fixed surgically (back when insurance was affordable). It seems to have also cured the tossing and turning. I have moved back into the bedroom, and my wife sleeps just fine, now.

    • glassvisage profile imageAUTHOR


      11 years ago from Northern California

      Yep! Sometimes it helps, actually... I mean, how romantic can you be if you're too tired? :)

    • VioletSun profile image


      11 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

      When I first moved in with my mate, I couldn't fall asleep as he has this little jump while he is sleeping, every 12 seconds or so,  he would jerk a little while dreaming, and startle me awake, and I also would end up with very little bed space. In the meanitime, I hit the poor guy with my elbow not once but twice, forgetting he was next to me, LOL! or toss and turn and wake him up.  So, like Misha and his lady, we sleep in separate rooms and I love it! I am not a very good sleeper, so need my space.  And no, it doesn't put a damp on romance and our togetherness. :)

    • glassvisage profile imageAUTHOR


      11 years ago from Northern California

      What a great story! Ha! Squish :) Cute

    • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

      Cindy Lawson 

      11 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

      Very true, I have all the same problems with my Husband, right down to the holding me in a vice like grip in his sleep, whilst I wrestle with being too hot and feeling smothered. I have the added problem of his snoring though, and trying to keep him on his side to minimise it, whilst also stopping him from rolling onto his back and squashing our newest kitten, (who is ironically called "Squish").

    • glassvisage profile imageAUTHOR


      11 years ago from Northern California

      Thanks for the stories, guys... they make me feel better knowing I'm not the only one on HubPages with such an issue :)

    • funnebone profile image


      11 years ago from Philadelphia Pa

      My ex used to yell at me for staying up late and falling asleep on the couch. So I would go to bed when she did, toss and turn and sit wide awake for hours, then when I would fall asleep she would kick me and the dog out for snoring. I would end up right back on the sofa that I was pulled from hours before!

    • Misha profile image


      11 years ago from DC Area

      LOL Poor thing!

      With my wife we sleep in separate rooms now :)

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 

      11 years ago from California Gold Country

      Maybe you need a bigger bed. I fall aleep fast, but "personal space" improved my quality of sleep a lot once we got big king size mattress.

    • CherylTheWriter profile image


      11 years ago from Humble, Texas (the ultimate oxymoron)

      I am so with you here, glassvisage. I love my guy but, man, can he snore. I sleep so lightly that sometimes his breathing can keep me awake. Yes, I discovered ear plugs.


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