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Top dating tips for shy guys: Things men should know

Updated on August 17, 2012

Are you a shy guy? Are you an introvert? If you nodded, read on. Over time, women realize that some of the most charming men they've met are in some ways, very shy. Women like to date shy guys because they allow the ladies to take control in aspects that are not worth being too manly about. Shy guys give girls the chance to be expressive without worrying about how their dates will react. Use these top dating tips to impress the ladies.

1) Dating tip for shy guys: Get her flowers

Flowers, especially roses, have always been associated with a man showing his love for a woman and this association will never ever go out of vogue. Women are generally swept off their feet any given day if they are given a nice bouquet of roses.

If you have a date with a pretty girl who you always had a crush on, but are worried about how to have that perfect start to the date, start by giving her flowers. Leave the rest to her. You've already done your bit to make your lady extremely happy.

2) Dating tip for shy guys: Take a woman out on a fun date

Are you planning to take your woman out for dinner? A coffee? To the movies? To the park? Wake up silly, she's already done that with other men. How are you different from the lot? Make your date special by going to random places. Maybe ask her to wear her favorite bikini and drive her to the beach for a fun day of surf and the sand? Or maybe even an impromptu camping trip on the weekend?

The key is to come up with a fun thing to do with your girlfriend and surprise her. Keep it simple and do something which is within your comfort zone. Don't worry about her being bored and do all you can to give her an experience she has not had before.

Gaze into your lady love's eyes all the time
Gaze into your lady love's eyes all the time

3) Dating tip for shy guys: Stare into her eyes all the time

Have you ever heard the line 'Oh I love the way he looks into my eyes'? There is a reason why it's been said over and over again. Girls love it when a guy looks into her eyes and speaks a romantic thing or two.

It is okay if you think that you are not confident enough to say those romantic lines. But you must look into the woman's eye whether you're speaking to her or not. Any woman will love it if her date seems lost just by gazing into her eyes. It is the ultimate pleasure that all women crave for.

4) Dating tip for shy guys: Keep smiling

Suppose you are on a date and you are trying hard to control your nerves. While that is quite understandable if you have a shy personality, but all you need to remember to do is look into her eyes and smile. Is that too much to ask for?

The easiest way to make your date feel good about the date itself, is to appear happy, even if you are nervous from inside. Just smiles your way through the date and make her comfortable. A smile is a sign of positive body language and it will help break the ice between the two of you.

Dancing is a great way to break the ice on a date
Dancing is a great way to break the ice on a date

5) Dating tip for shy guys: Learn to dance

It does not matter whether you learn to do the Salsa or Ball Dance. The point is to learn any dance which will allow you to hold her in your arms and sway away into the night. A girl would love it if you took her out on a date and you both took dancing lessons. It is a quirky date idea, but it will be super fun and oh-so-romantic.

The best part about this tip is that you can get the upper hand if your lady love does not know how to dance. You can take her in your arms and teach her how to.

Even if you don't specifically plan to go dancing, knowing how to dance is a skill that can come in handy at the most unsuspecting of places. The last thing you want to be is left red faced if your date asks you if you want to hit the floor with her.

6) Dating tip for shy guys: Don't try to hard to be someone else

Shy guys can try a bit too hard to impress their lady love and if you are doing this too, you should know that this is exactly what you should not be doing on a date. Confused? Simply put, your woman is supposed to like you for what you are, even if you are different from others. Don't go overboard and try to be someone you're not. It's just not worth it.

A perfect example of this is when you say 'Oh you're looking gorgeous. I'm bowled over babe' A woman will instantly be able to tell if you really meant it or you said it just because you were trying too hard and had nothing else to say. Say it if you really think that your date is looking stunning, and say it with all your heart. But if you say it just for the sake of it, it can be a big turn off, even if you are just trying to be nice.

7) Dating tip for shy guys: If you feel like it, say it

Shy guys are known to be thinkers and have a lot of great ideas up their sleeves. For all you guys reading this and nodding your heads, here's a fantastic tip. If you feel like you want to say something, just say it. Imagine you are on a date in a boring coffee shop. If you feel that you can spice up the date by taking your partner out somewhere else, don't feel afraid to ask her "Can we go somewhere else, this place is just too dull?" She will not feel bad, nor will she feel offended.

This was just an example. As long as you have a bright suggestion up your sleeve, go for it. Convey your thoughts and feelings to her. Unless you are dating a psychic, your date won't read your mind until you speak out. Lay bare your soul and tell your date whatever is ticking inside your mind and heart. She will love it.

8) Dating tip for shy guys: Don't push for sex but don't forget it either

If you have been going out for a few weeks, chances are that you want to take the relationship to the next level. As a very practical and confusing dating tips, the key to approaching sex is not to be too pushy, but don't ignore it either. Confused? Let's elaborate.

Rule #1 Don't get frisky unless you are in a romantic setting. Your woman will always remember your 'first kiss', your 'first time in bed' and so on.

Rule #2 Don't keep your hands to yourself. Yes, this may be pushing the boundary here because people who are naturally shy and introvert may find it hard to make the first move. But that's the key. Start by putting your hand on her lower back when you're walking. Maybe even caress her neckline every now and then. The point is to make yourself comfortable while touching her. Most shy guys tend to stop being 'shy guys' after they are comfortable with their partners.

Rule #3 When you are sharing an intimate moment with your lady, don't stare at her boobs while talking to her. Leave it for later when you both have ripped each others' clothes apart.

Rule #4 If your next question is 'So how long do I wait before I play dirty?', remember that there is no expert in the world who can tell you an exact time. Go for it when it feels right. Women respect guys who wait until the right moment to make the move. Just make sure that the right moment does not pass away.


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    • savvydating profile image


      6 years ago

      Guys, the best thing to do if you are shy or not, is listen to your date, ask interesting questions like, "If you were a movie, what would be the title and who would play you?" It also helps to tell a funny story about yourself. It makes you seem vulnerable and ...vulnerability is attractive; we all relax when we see the chink in the armour... Thus, shyness has its advantages. However, I do not recommend carressing the neckline, or asking her to wear her favorite bikini for first dates. Personally, I'd rather a man keep his hands to himself until he gets to know me better. The sexual attraction thing is always in the air, in any event. In truth, there is a lot to be said for maintaining a certain amount of sexual tension before starting anything's more romantic that way - and women love romance.

      Princesswithapen, thanks for bringing up an important topic.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Most women will think that a guy is creepy if he brings her flowers on the first date. That may have been good advice in the 1950s, but it doesn't work now!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      What about the flip side for a normally strong and confident woman? I have met a guy online and had first meet. I thought he was joking when he said he was shy, but boy he wasn't. He is extremely shy. I think he is just wonderful and as a consequence became ridiculously nervous myself and am terrified of making him more nervous. I am seeing him again in a couple of days and am panicking about it already! I long to just touch his han but don't want to scare him off. He is just gorgeous in every way!

    • rjbatty profile image


      7 years ago from Irvine

      There's a flip side to that coin. If a shy guy ends up dating an aggressive woman, he can end up being led around by the nose. Either the woman knows (instinctively or otherwise) that she doesn't have the "stuff" to make a man stay with her ... or she never cares about longevity in the first place. One woman with whom I made a blind date over the phone, suggested that we meet at one of the most expensive restaurants on the marina, which also happened to be in her neck of the woods (not mine). Everything started out so well. We had a set meeting time, but I couldn't locate her. I went to the bar and ordered a beer, drank half of it then went looking again, then finally found her. She was pissed for having to wait thirty minutes (it was no more than ten), and we were shown to our seats. She ordered the most expensive item on the menu along with appetisers and drinks (and she polished her plate). During dinner I received a lot of questions about my employment and earning potential. It didn't matter by that point because I was just biding my time until the disaster was over. She seemed to do everything in the world that is off-putting to any guy, and there was no sign of regret. Basically, she was just looking for a free meal out and didn't give a rat's ass about who sat across the table. I think her gold-digger strategy had caved in on her some time ago, so she settled for a shy guy who could be commandeered. Shy men are a magnet for aggressive, even somewhat predatory-type women. So, the biggest warning anyone can give to a shy guy is ... look out, check your instincts, and (if necessary) just walk out on a date that is grilling you about your bank salary, spending without restraint, and eating like a slob. Just say you left something in your car and get out of the situation as soon as you recognize it as a complete downer.

    • princesswithapen profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Hi ArealStdntAthlete

      I'm glad you could relate to things mentioned in this article. I hope you can put these tips into practice and charm your lady love!


    • profile image


      7 years ago

      These are great tips and I can totally see myself doing some of these things if I can manage to get any girl that I like interested in me...


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