My wedding ring is NOT a fashion accessory
Recently I had the uncomfortable situation of being hit on, as a married woman who wears her wedding ring. In the unavoidable situation of being at work, surrounded by colleagues and the others who use our office space. A professional environment. One of the people coming in and out quite regularly was making quite a point to talk to me. To say hello. Gave me a small token gift.
At this time I was renovating our house, and thought he didn't see the wedding band on its own. I made a point of putting my engagement ring on every morning, remove it to stop it from getting painted. He would make a point to stop by my office to say G'day and Goodbye. He didn't do this for any of my other colleagues. He tried to engage me in conversation in the hallway, entered my office when it looked like I wasn't busy to talk to me. It was stressing me out. I didn't know how to respond. I worked really hard on avoiding him and not talking to him.
Then he winked at me. I lost it. I felt sick to my stomach. I was floored. I didn't know how to respond. So I turned away from him until he left. When I recovered from feeling ill, I was infuriated. I reflected that every time I did respond to him, I used the we, as in me and somebody else. I didn't feel the need to tell him I am married, as my wedding ring is there in clear view.
In eight years I did not have the opportunity to learn how to say "no I am not interested" I wasn't particularly good at it while I was dating either, because I don't want hurt people's feelings.To tell somebody I wasn't interested was nearly a 3 hour conversation. That is another story.
Most people respect and acknowledge the ring so I don't have to have to have awkward conversations.
As I spoke with people about it, they told me that lots of people don't care. That to some its even a challenge. I shudder at the thought. It's disgusting.
What the wedding ring means to me - My Precious
The wedding ring is my precious symbol of our marriage. Its a complete circle and while I believe we should be whole people - that is another topic.
In the case of our marriage it symbolises unity, the unity we have, neither of use having anything over each other except love. No debt outstanding. The way we band together when times get tough. How we use both our strengths to make us as happy and healthy as we possibly can be.
My ring is also gold and shiny; Our relationship is gold and shiny too, most people who really know us will commend us on our relationship. As we are still two separate people, who love each other and work together on common goals. Gold and shiny is important in a symbolic sense, as I once had a copper ring that tarnished my finger turning it green, where it came in contact with the skin. My marriage doesn't tarnish me, in it I have grown and developed an even better sense of self. Been able to do so many amazing things because we have had each other.
While I wear it I know I am happy, with the place we are at, and the people that we are. That my husband is the only romantic love interest I have.
I believe marriage is supposed to be a safe place for both parties to be able continue to grow in their own right. Continue to develop their interests, and share a common purpose and goal together. To share the good things and bad things, triumphs and failures. To not be judged for petty things.
To have some one who completely knows you, the good, the bad and the ugly, but stills loves you - who doesn't have too.
Marriage is choosing to be on the same path; to be exclusive to each other.