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New Way to Selecting Future Husband

Updated on July 7, 2017

DISCLAIMER


This is only for laugh. Don’t try it without professional assistance. If you experiencing trouble because practicing this, it is not my fault at all ! I did warn you! ^^ Please enjoy!


Freya


Tehehe...
Tehehe...


Do you having problem in sellecting man to find Mr. Right? Here some tips for you which came from my own experience.


Few weeks ago there was a man who want to get to know me better (aka asking for dating). His face is alright and has great career, but if about his Iman and taqwa (believing Allah and doing his deeds just like what Al Qur’an had taught Muslim), there was big question mark in my mind about that!


Got curious, I asked...

“Do you like animal?”

“Yes, I do.”


It made me feels itchy!
It made me feels itchy!


I do, he said. Hmmm... I was busy looking for the sign of lies.

“If I have to go back to school later, may I leave my Cat, Torty, at your place so she can live there for while when I am away?”

Testing, observing, analyzing... proceed!



“Oh, I do love animal, but I don’t like taking care of it.”

“But why?”


???
???

“Because animal is smelly...”

Doh!

What?! No! My Torty always smell good, thanks to her shampoo and her tick collar, while you; might be already smell bad by little bit of sweat!


The Cat collapse and become flat on the floor after heard she had been called as smelly
The Cat collapse and become flat on the floor after heard she had been called as smelly


“Dirty...”

I did meet many slouchy guys which is dirtier than any animal, mostly my Torty; which always clean! They just hate washing and always using the same shirt every single day, seems never care about changing at all!


I am not dirty at all! Did you brushed your teeth today?
I am not dirty at all! Did you brushed your teeth today?


“Very naughty and always breaking things...”

Let’s count: how many glasses, plates and other vulnerable things you had been broke in this life time? And how about those damaged you already did to any other things? Let’s compare the quantity and level of the damage, will you?


Be honest or I will punch you on the face!
Be honest or I will punch you on the face!


“And their poop is soooo.... ughhh!”

He pinched his nose and made disgusting expression.

Was your shit smell good to you, eh?



Translation: "Right! Push!" "Ugh! Did you clean your butt after poop?"
Translation: "Right! Push!" "Ugh! Did you clean your butt after poop?"


It is not love if you want to have good and beautiful things only from those you said you love. Everything in life has good side and bad side. Right at this moment you said you love me, who able to guarantee that you will still feel the same if you find something you don’t like about me? I am afraid at that moment you will look for another woman to replacing me.


A wife not only able to give you great time and pleasure, and with children around, sometimes, there will be a time when wife and children become really helpless more than any animal ever did. If this is happening to you, will you stay faithfully with them and love them still? I wonder.


NOT!
NOT!


I’m sorry I have no interest on man who only wants to have fun and beauty in this life. If it is Allah will (insha Allah), He will always protecting me from this kind of men. Amen.


Moral from This Story

Never criticize her pets in front of the animal lovers. She will used it as an excuse to kick your butt away from her life as soon as possible!


The Such Called Tips

  1. Ask for troublesome wish

  2. Watch his reaction closely

  3. Listen to his answer carefully. You will know what your next question will be just by listen to his response to you

  4. Analyze every answer he give you inside your mind, like I did above

  5. If you want to kick some pride, you can tell him your analyze about his answer to you at the end, but I suggesting you to never do that because he will used it to fix his performance the next time he find another girl he likes. It is important to us, women, protecting each other from this kind of man, right?


Have a nice day everyone.

I hope I am successful in trying to make you laugh! ^^



I salute you,my friend. Let's have another date someday!
I salute you,my friend. Let's have another date someday!

Comments

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  • profile image

    SilverGenes 6 years ago

    This is so cute! And actually kind of true, too! hehehehe

  • The Old Firm profile image

    The Old Firm 6 years ago from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand

    Funny Hub and great photos Freya. Good guide for a bloke too, on how to behave. I don't think my cat was very interested though, she was too busy sharpening her claws on the back of my chair - but it was a cheap chair anyway and a lady has to attend to her nails.

    Regards,

    Peter.

  • sunchild28 profile image

    sunchild28 6 years ago from Nigeria

    Nice hub, thanks for the warning not to try without a professional assistance.

  • sangre profile image

    Sp Greaney 6 years ago from Ireland

    This is so funny, but the moral of the story is true, animal lovers love their pets.

  • Mentalist acer profile image

    Mentalist acer 6 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

    I wouldn't mind taking care of your cat,but it might be ferral upon your return:-))

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    SilverGenes: Of course it is true! Somehow... LOL. Thank you, dear.

    The Old Firm: Hehehe... you are really funny, Sir! Thank you.

    Sunchild28: Oh, that just only warning I added to make sure nobody will able to sue me later if something wrong happen, just like those warning they put on the back of ciggarette box. Still, silently, I wish people ignoring my warning and keep following this method to sellecting future husband. LOL! Thank you.

    Sangre: No! No! All part of this Hub is true! That is why it is really useful! hehehe... Thank you. ^^

    Mentalist Acer: I believe that! I really do! Fortunately, my cat need to be push a little so she can be more brave. She is too coward! Maybe it is good to become ferral for her! So, may I send her to you now? ^^ hehehe... Thank you, Sir.

  • RichardCMckeown profile image

    RichardCMckeown 6 years ago

    Nice Hub,

    I want one your cat you know so cute.

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Noooo!!!! They are too cute to be giving away! Hehehehe... They are not mine at all. THank you, RichardCMckeown

  • prasetio30 profile image

    prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

    My friend, you always be my inspiration. I wish I can met my future wife soon. God bless you. Take care! Rated up...

    Love and peace,

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Prasetio: Hmm... Considering it is come from my senior, I feel honour! But I think I still have so many lack while you already gain great success here. ^^ Thank you anyway. I hope it is true. ^^

  • Neverletitgo profile image

    Neverletitgo 6 years ago from Minneapolis, MN

    This funny story Freya and you do that most of the time. I really like your style but I can't do it sis, do I imitate or what? I can't because of your warning, so I don't want to do that. Any way thanks for sharing sis.

    Abdi

  • Uriel profile image

    Uriel 6 years ago from Lebanon

    Freya, so true, cute and simply reminds me of lie to me, on TV. I really loved it, and by the way that is one smart way to discover his point of view on a certain topic as well as his character! WAY TO GO, btw how is your cat doing? [tamashii hasn't returned, Hisagi had two kittens that look like tamashii (i believe he IS NOT THE DAD btw) and ash the only male cat right now is ash ...fat and Grey :D:D ]

    HUGs

  • meow48 profile image

    meow48 6 years ago from usa

    this was way cool. thankyou so much. I needed to laugh. take care and thankyou for the follow.

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Salam, Abdi.

    You should write with your own style. If you not found one yet, keep writing and by the time, you will find it. Our style is changing; growing by the time and by understanding about everything. Be honest but stay wise, this is rule I always pushed myself to follow.Sometimes I managed, sometimes I didn't, but unless I always try my best.

    Have a nice day, brother.^^ Wassalam

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Uriel dear, where is tamashi going? Is it possible someone steal him from you? In Indonesia, breed cat like Tamashi will never save outside of the house alone. No mention Turkish Anggora; expensive one!

    New kittens! How lucky! You should send me few pictures of them later, dear.

    My silly Torty is fine, I hope! I just wake from sick-bed after 10 days and Torty have to live without me for while during that time. My friend whose taking care of her said Torty still cute and funny as usual, but maybe not as fat as before. I miss her. Miss you too. Emmuah!!! Hope you are allright there.

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Meow48: Laugh is all this Hub meant for. I'm glad you like it. ^^ Thank you, dear.

  • epigramman profile image

    epigramman 6 years ago

    ...well you know I would love this one ...... so here is another landmark hub of yours that I will posting to the lucky readers at my Facebook page - you are so much fun and a delight - your writing always gives me proper goosebumps and yes Little Miss Tiffy (in my picture) says hello - and my other cat, Mister Gabriel, too!

  • suziecat7 profile image

    suziecat7 6 years ago from Asheville, NC

    Thanks for the morning smile, Epi. Loved the cats. I have several and they are NEVER smelly!!

  • Uriel profile image

    Uriel 6 years ago from Lebanon

    Freya : >_< just telling me tamashii was stolen makes me want to cry. I mean he is a stray cat [or at least was a stray cat when his mom left him in our garden] but he is so sweet that anyone would want to touch him and take him home . Poor baby :( ~i really miss that crazy tamashii so cute and fluffy :(

    I do hope your neighbor is feeding the cats not keeping them starving i mean :-(

    Salam dear and God bless you

    btw why did you catch ? flu? runny nose? or something else i hope you are feeling much better now. Stay healthy eat lots of fruits drink juice and have so sun [i don't what to tell you to do :D but know that i will be by your side "D"D]

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Epigramman: From cat lover to another cat lover, aren't they adorable?! Thank you, Mr. E. You are the best! I want to see Mr. Gabriel too. He must be really cute cat. ^^

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Suziecat7: But my baby is smelly right now because she decided to kissed me right after she ate wet food and cleaning her face after kissed me. Braaaat! Hehehe... thank you for reading and commenting. ^^

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Uriel dear: I'm sorry about Tamashi. I hope he will coming back home soon. My Torty is fine. My best friend rescue her and took her home while I still sick. She is bigger now! Hard to believe how different her size is only in 12 days. She is with me now, whinning to get wet food and being allow to play outside. This brat! Hehehe

    I was suffer from Chikungunya. You can google it to know what it is but chikungunya is a fever caused by mosquito and lately can be found at tropic Island. It is not deathly like dengue fever, but it can caused people get paralized for while. It attack our bones, caused it feel so painful. The pain is so damned crazy made me thought I was about to get nut because of it. Doctor gave me too many medicine which caused gastric problem and made the sickness become twice harder. I am fine now, just terrible headache left. Unless I can be with Torty again. ^^

  • Micky Dee profile image

    Micky Dee 6 years ago

    Funny hub but great advice. You are a wise woman and that makes you more beautiful dear Freya.

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Micky Dee: Hey, King Micky. You are always so sweet. Thank you. ^^

  • Amy Becherer profile image

    Amy Becherer 6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    This has so much wonderful humor, but is actually a very serious topic. You composed a wonderful piece of work, Freya. I especially related to the portion about "kitty poo". When you dissected this information, you are so completely right on the mark!!! What would happen with a husband that refused to change a baby diaper? Actually, my ex-husband that I divorced just about a year ago, never once asked how I felt when I was ill. When I had to have my gorgeous 100 lb. Golden Retriever put down as he had cancer and was at the end, I had to beg someone else to help me get Leo to the vet, as the ex had his usual Saturday morning breakfast planned with his oldest daughter. He told me "no, my truck is new", when I asked him for help. The dog was his dog also, but I suppose in name only. When he left us to go to his breakfast date, he did not even say "goodbye to Leo". I still cry over that. I knew I could never, ever forgive him for that. Although, it took some time for me to get out, I was "gone" from the beginning of Leo's cancer. He did not help me in caring for him at all. Not even to talk to me about it. I was long gone.

    This is truly a fantastic combination of humor and brilliance, Freya. Thank you

  • Freya Cesare profile image
    Author

    Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

    Dear, Amy, that is awful experience. Indeed some people can't love animal but unless they can try to be kind and sensitive toward our feeling to our pet! This kind of behavior is very annoying for me. I hope you will meet your true partner in love soon, dear. Thank you, Amy. Big hug! ^_^

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