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Nagging; How to Ruin A Relationship

Updated on November 18, 2013

Tell the Truth

The most annoying habit that will ruin your relationship, drive away men, and will ensure you never have a long term relationship;NAGGING.

  1. Nagging. Going on and on, around in circles, and verbally communicating paragraphs of dialogue to communicate feelings/concepts that can be delivered in 3 sentences or less.

There is nothing more irritating, annoying, and disturbing as someone who won't shut up.

There is nothing wrong with communicating your feelings to someone so they understand your perspective. However, when you go on and on about a situation, follow people from room to room, while reciting the same thing you have said a dozen times already; don't be surprised at the reaction of the other party. The reaction is usually to get as far away from you as possible. Interacting with someone who nags is like hearing finger nails on a chalkboard.

The practice of extreme nagging takes you from girlfriend and wife to a self appointed imitation “mother” in a relationship. The dynamics of the relationship changes from lover and friend to warden and it's undesirable. If you have a leaking faucet you can't fix the most rational choice would be to stay far away from that torture of hearing every drop in the sink.

So how do you communicate your needs to your partner in a relationship in an effective manner? Glad you asked. You follow this 3 step process after evaluating if your problem is worth the battle. It should never be your desire to make mountains out of molehills.

  1. Calmly mention what is bothering you without going into an entire tirade. Keep your voice low and even. A calm demeanor goes a long way. Acknowledge the situation and state your case.

  2. Mention and offer options for a solution to the other party. They will feel you value their input and are not treating them like a child.

  3. Follow-up with consequences to no changes or lack of follow through with the options the other party elected to perform/execute.

This approach will save your relationships and make it easier for your partner to communicate with you. The key to executing these objectives is to complete your interaction with your man in 3 sentences or less. Trust me; the more you go on and on the more a man will tune you out. Without perfecting your communications skills you will sound similar to that of Charlie Brown's teacher in Peanuts that spoke incoherently.

The most powerful people in America are not those who speak continuously but those who express themselves effectively, say little, but follow-through swiftly regarding consequences and rewards.

An inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind. – Walter Bagehot

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. – Ambrose Bierce

To speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks. – Ben Jonson

There is no point in repeating yourself when there are no consequences for your actions. So ladies if you asked him to take out the trash, he never does, and you have said your 3 sentences or less. Perhaps next week you put the trash right next to his side of bed. So in the middle of the night if he rolls out of bed and into a bag of trash then you have non-verbally communicated that you meant what you said.

Just kidding

Really; stop nagging.


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