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How to Stop Nagging Your Husband

Updated on February 6, 2018
Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 is a science buff with 11 years of experience writing about of psychology and related-topics.

Are you a nagging wife? It's hard to admit that you might in fact be. Most women live in denial, and I don't blame them. After all, it is difficult to put yourself in another person's shoes and view yourself from their point of view. However, close friends who may have observed you closely may be able to give you an honest opinion. If you don't quite believe your husband, they are the best people to ask.

Nagging may seem like a small thing and most women just ignore this away. However, a wife who constantly nags can drive her husband nuts and there is no telling how he would react to your nonstop nagging. He may just develop a thick skin and start ignoring even your genuine concerns. On the other hand, he may just start avoiding you by staying out later and perhaps even getting into affairs, as a distraction.

A nagging wife wears her man down mentally, irritates him no end, doesn't make him feel rested. Extreme cases of nagging could make your man do crazy things - do something to themselves or they might even just get rid of the nagging wife. Such cases have happened, so it isn't beyond the realm of possibility. So as a wife, it is in your best interest to stop nagging or at least cut down on it considerably. If you have read thus far and wish you tackle this nagging problem, here is how.

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Strategies To Avoid Being a Nagging Wife

 

Recognize the Problem: As with any other problem, the first step is acknowledging that there is in fact a problem. If you are not a 100% convinced, you aren't likely to put in your full efforts to tackle it.

Monitor & Study Your Behavior: Keep a book and jot down the scenarios and situations that caused you to start your nagging. If you do, you'd find out that there are certain situations that, more often than others, cause you to blow your top and give in to nagging. Now, that you know which situations trigger most of your nagging bouts, you can address those specific situations in a targeted manner.

Prepare Your Response: Now, that you know which situations prompt your nagging, address them. One way is the diversionary tactic. Basically, what you would do is to divert your mind to another topic, each time the "nagging" feeling comes upon you. Say, if you felt like nagging your husband about his TV watching habits. The moment that thought crosses your mind and you are about to open your mouth - you activate a mental restrainer that tells you to talk about your old days from before you were married. This isn't a really good example, but you would get the drift I am sure. Basically, this method works like a charm, if you really implement it honestly and are disciplined in carrying it out each time.

Tackle Problems by Talking: Your husband isn't perfect and there would be times when you need to really have a frank talk with him. You don't need to feel conscious about do so, lest you be "nagging." All that you have to do is watch your tone and prepare the setting. Catch him when he isn't watching TV or distracted in any other way and can give you his full attention. Having done so, sit him across and talk to him in a gentle tone and discuss the problems that you want to put across to him and how you'd like to get it resolved. He would appreciate you for doing so. Talking is very different from nagging. I am sure you know the difference in tone and approach.

Stop Pointing out His Wrongs: We all make mistakes, don't we? Do we like others (even our partners) pointing out that to us? Of course, we don't! So, do you think your husband would appreciate the fact that you list out what he's done wrong during the day, at home or through all the years he's been with you? He wouldn't! If you feel your husband has done a wrong that he shouldn't have, as stated above, there's a better way - talking. Nagging is just a continuous burst of complaints and accusations, which would do no good to your relationship and do nothing to solve the underlying problem.

Silence is Golden: Sometimes, it pays to stay silent, even in the face of provocation. While they say that communicating is important in a relationship, I would argue that too much communication is bad, especially if you have a nagging tendency. You can be sure that much of this communication would in fact just be nagging if you were to study yourself closely.

Take the Help of Others: Sometimes, especially in social situations, when there are your friends/relatives around, you can utilize them to address your nagging problem. If you could talk to them about helping you out, whenever you feel "naggy" by diverting your attention or bringing up another subject, that would help greatly. Men don't like being nagged, but they don't like it that much more when they are nagged in front of others. Adopting this strategy would help maintain your respect in his eyes and avoid much agony for him, having to lose face in front of others.

Reflect / Point of View: I often find that putting myself in the other person's shoes gives me fresh new perspective and appreciation of what it is for the other person. I follow this strategy for dealing with many issues in my daily life and it really works. Knowing how your husband would feel, can make you empathize with his situation better and help react more appropriately in a specific situation.

Nagging isn't something someone is born with. It is not in one's genes. If anything, it is a habit, and as with other bad habits, you can learn to tackle it. What you need is an appreciation of the problem in the first place and then being disciplined in following strategies to counter it. Stop nagging and start living and loving. There's much to gain and very little to lose.

© 2010 Shil1978

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