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How to Stop Nagging Your Husband

Updated on February 6, 2018
Shil1978 profile image

Shil1978 is a science buff with 11 years of experience writing about of psychology and related-topics.

Are you a nagging wife? It's hard to admit that you might in fact be. Most women live in denial, and I don't blame them. After all, it is difficult to put yourself in another person's shoes and view yourself from their point of view. However, close friends who may have observed you closely may be able to give you an honest opinion. If you don't quite believe your husband, they are the best people to ask.

Nagging may seem like a small thing and most women just ignore this away. However, a wife who constantly nags can drive her husband nuts and there is no telling how he would react to your nonstop nagging. He may just develop a thick skin and start ignoring even your genuine concerns. On the other hand, he may just start avoiding you by staying out later and perhaps even getting into affairs, as a distraction.

A nagging wife wears her man down mentally, irritates him no end, doesn't make him feel rested. Extreme cases of nagging could make your man do crazy things - do something to themselves or they might even just get rid of the nagging wife. Such cases have happened, so it isn't beyond the realm of possibility. So as a wife, it is in your best interest to stop nagging or at least cut down on it considerably. If you have read thus far and wish you tackle this nagging problem, here is how.


Strategies To Avoid Being a Nagging Wife


Recognize the Problem: As with any other problem, the first step is acknowledging that there is in fact a problem. If you are not a 100% convinced, you aren't likely to put in your full efforts to tackle it.

Monitor & Study Your Behavior: Keep a book and jot down the scenarios and situations that caused you to start your nagging. If you do, you'd find out that there are certain situations that, more often than others, cause you to blow your top and give in to nagging. Now, that you know which situations trigger most of your nagging bouts, you can address those specific situations in a targeted manner.

Prepare Your Response: Now, that you know which situations prompt your nagging, address them. One way is the diversionary tactic. Basically, what you would do is to divert your mind to another topic, each time the "nagging" feeling comes upon you. Say, if you felt like nagging your husband about his TV watching habits. The moment that thought crosses your mind and you are about to open your mouth - you activate a mental restrainer that tells you to talk about your old days from before you were married. This isn't a really good example, but you would get the drift I am sure. Basically, this method works like a charm, if you really implement it honestly and are disciplined in carrying it out each time.

Tackle Problems by Talking: Your husband isn't perfect and there would be times when you need to really have a frank talk with him. You don't need to feel conscious about do so, lest you be "nagging." All that you have to do is watch your tone and prepare the setting. Catch him when he isn't watching TV or distracted in any other way and can give you his full attention. Having done so, sit him across and talk to him in a gentle tone and discuss the problems that you want to put across to him and how you'd like to get it resolved. He would appreciate you for doing so. Talking is very different from nagging. I am sure you know the difference in tone and approach.

Stop Pointing out His Wrongs: We all make mistakes, don't we? Do we like others (even our partners) pointing out that to us? Of course, we don't! So, do you think your husband would appreciate the fact that you list out what he's done wrong during the day, at home or through all the years he's been with you? He wouldn't! If you feel your husband has done a wrong that he shouldn't have, as stated above, there's a better way - talking. Nagging is just a continuous burst of complaints and accusations, which would do no good to your relationship and do nothing to solve the underlying problem.

Silence is Golden: Sometimes, it pays to stay silent, even in the face of provocation. While they say that communicating is important in a relationship, I would argue that too much communication is bad, especially if you have a nagging tendency. You can be sure that much of this communication would in fact just be nagging if you were to study yourself closely.

Take the Help of Others: Sometimes, especially in social situations, when there are your friends/relatives around, you can utilize them to address your nagging problem. If you could talk to them about helping you out, whenever you feel "naggy" by diverting your attention or bringing up another subject, that would help greatly. Men don't like being nagged, but they don't like it that much more when they are nagged in front of others. Adopting this strategy would help maintain your respect in his eyes and avoid much agony for him, having to lose face in front of others.

Reflect / Point of View: I often find that putting myself in the other person's shoes gives me fresh new perspective and appreciation of what it is for the other person. I follow this strategy for dealing with many issues in my daily life and it really works. Knowing how your husband would feel, can make you empathize with his situation better and help react more appropriately in a specific situation.

Nagging isn't something someone is born with. It is not in one's genes. If anything, it is a habit, and as with other bad habits, you can learn to tackle it. What you need is an appreciation of the problem in the first place and then being disciplined in following strategies to counter it. Stop nagging and start living and loving. There's much to gain and very little to lose.

© 2010 Shil1978


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    • nancynurse profile image

      Nancy McClintock 

      8 years ago from Southeast USA

      Good hub thanks so much for writing;

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago

      Ameenat, the situation you describe is very different than the one I envisioned when writing this hub. I wrote this hub assuming a good relationship between a husband and wife. I don't say that if a husband is having an extramarital affair that the wife should keep quiet, or anything of that sort.

      This hub is written under the premise of a good relationship that could potentially be ruined by a wife prone to excessive nagging.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Maïmouna's story: My husband is seeing someone else and he was adviced to do so by friends. How do I stop getting back at him even when he thinks nagging and not giving me attention is a way in for me?

      Ameenat's: I strongly believe maïmouna can beat up the man by facing off her idea of his extra marital affairs. She just should play the game as if she never saw or heard of it.

      Nagging wife may be as a result of her husband's character but for her to win the heart of her husband,she call him,let him knw she's aware of his action BUT she must make sure she never turn that to a fight with him.

      A man with conscious heart will feel sobbered on his action to a patient wife like you.



    • tvpuram profile image


      10 years ago from India

      Nagging should be discouraged at the very beginning. Drive home the point you never take it lying down. A connected joke is interesting. Newly married while returning home in a horse cart, the horse limped once the husband shouted"one" He shouted "two" second time when it limped again and the third time he shouted"three" took his pistol and shot the horse. Seeing this wife exclaimed "You have done a wrong thing".The husband shouted "one". He never had a chance to say "two" in his life.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      These are really gud. Hope to improve by harrasing my husband less.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thanks again 4x4! The pleasure was mine! It was fun writing this hub!!

    • 4x4 profile image


      10 years ago from Los Angeles

      You are most welcome.

      Great read and thanks for sharing!

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thanks 4x4 for stopping by and for your comments.

    • 4x4 profile image


      10 years ago from Los Angeles

      Two thumbs up

      I do not want to add anymore as it may seem like I have a nagging wife. Although, my thing is that a nagging wife is most times the result of having a husband that isn't a good listener. And I agree with all the other comments, must reading for wives and husbands.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thank you, elayne, for stopping by this hub. Yes, we do pick these things up from our parents, but we should know better than to repeat the same mistakes.

      First step though is to recognize that it is a mistake, only then can you work towards doing something about it, which you seem to have, so good on you!! Thank you for the words of appreciation. Glad you liked this hub!!

    • elayne001 profile image


      10 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      I came by nagging naturally since I saw it with my mother and Dad just took it. Now my husband does not like it so much, and I have toned it way down. It is a bad habit. Thanks for a well-written hub. Aloha!

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Shalini, thank you for dropping by and for the gracious words. Appreciate it :)

      Its so true that "silence is golden." I've found that from personal experience countless times. You can never go wrong being silent in some situations. I've also found out from personal experience how it is to have a nagging woman in the household. You see, my mom is the nagging type, and it does cause a lot of unnecessary stress in the home.

      Things can be dealt with, without nagging and spoiling the atmospherics of the house. Thank you, once again, Shalini for your insight :)

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 

      10 years ago from India

      Shil - I agree with fastfreta - I think this should be made part of a training course before marriage for all women :) When, oh when will we learn that 'silence is golden'? Yes, men nag too at times - but as the woman is the heart of the home, if she doesn't nag, everything is so much easier, I feel! Great hub, thank you.

    • samboiam profile image


      10 years ago from Texas

      Shil1978, great hub. Useful tips for both men and women.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thanks Amber for dropping by and for your comments. Well, I agree that women seem to nag more, although not all women are compulsive naggers.

      Perhaps, some study can shed some light on whether nagging is in-born in women vis-a-vis men, or whether men and women have the potential to nag equally!!

    • Amber Allen profile image

      Amber Allen 

      10 years ago

      Hi Shil

      I really useful hub from which we can all learn something. Perhaps you know why men criticise constructively while women nag!!!


    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thank you, Moon Goddess, for sharing your story. Wise advice :)

    • Moon Goddess1854 profile image

      Moon Goddess1854 

      10 years ago from Wherever my writing takes me

      Silence is a golden opportunity for both spouses to reflect. :)

      Well at least that's what my mother would often say. I pulled it out of my hat and found I got this nugget of wisdom that I didn't even notice my mother was able to successfully plant and hide all this time! Imagine that! Her nagging actually yielded something good! :D

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thank you, fastfreta, for dropping by and for your appreciation. Your words are a source of encouragement. Thanks again :)

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 

      10 years ago from Southern California

      Shil1978 these tips are book worthy, or at least a pamphlet. I think this should be required reading to all young couples contemplating marriage. You really did tackle this subject in depth. Really, really good.

    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thanks Al for dropping by and for sharing you experience. Always nice to hear from you :)

    • Mystique1957 profile image


      10 years ago from Caracas-Venezuela

      My dearest Shil...

      I am so glad of how conscious you are about this situation. I had a bad experience with a "nagging" partner as my ex´s(2) were always supportive and very kind(I admit without shame, I was at fault. Thank God I learned my lesson). There is a moment when a flood of obstinateness drowns your judgment and you just want to say: "Beam me up, Scotty!"

      Good points!

      Thumbs up!

      warmest regards and blessings,


    • Shil1978 profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago

      Thanks DRN for dropping by and for the hilarious proverbs :)

    • DiamondRN profile image

      Bob Diamond RPh 

      10 years ago from Charlotte, NC USA

      Nagging wife in Proverbs.

      Better to live on the roof than share the house with a nagging wife. (GNB: Prov 21.9)

      Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife. (GNB: Prov 21.19)

      A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil? (GNB: Prov 27.15)


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