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Negotiating Love

Updated on October 2, 2011

Mike's Common Sense

Love when you are young is a special thing. There is lots of exploring, and lots of passion. Love is exciting, and it is spontaneous. You have hooked up with the most lovely girl in the universe, and she lives just to please you.

Then, you do something stupid; you marry her.

Sure, the first couple of years there are still some steamy nights, but after seven years, and a couple of kids, things tend to change. You find your wife is no longer frothing at the mouth to get mounted by you. This is when you realize you will spend the rest of your life negotiating for love.

My brother has been negotiating for love many years now. His best tactic is to tell his wife that if she doesn't want him to get prostrate cancer, she has to let him keep the workings workable...if you know what I mean.

My brother's method works because he has a wife that gives a rat's ass about him. Very rare. Most of us married guys have to negotiate much harder for their love. Here is an example.

"Come on honey, it's been three weeks." "I haven't felt well. You only think about yourself." "That's not true honey, I brought you home some Chicken McNuggets yesterday." "Yeah, but they were cold." "Come on honey, you know I love you, and will always take care of you." If you did you would show it." "Name it honey, you've got it!" "Well, a trip to Olive Garden might get me in the mood." "Ok, ok Olive Garden it is, but you promise when we get home...." "Well there is one more thing..." "What is it my goddess?" "Clean out the cat box, and take out the trash."

As Rodney Dangerfield would say, "It's not easy being married!"


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    • muley84 profile image

      Michael A Muehleisen 6 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Steve! You are right of course. Don't let my attempt at humor fool you, I believe in love.

    • Capric222 profile image

      Capric222 6 years ago

      SJM...that's awesome! And you are totally right, it is love. It makes it all that much better!

    • profile image

      SJM 6 years ago

      35 years and I still drool after my wife.

      My wife has learned not to bend over in front of me.

      And sometimes, it's more than just mounting... it's love.

    • muley84 profile image

      Michael A Muehleisen 6 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Capric! It sounds like you have a great marriage. Keep working at it.

    • Capric222 profile image

      Capric222 6 years ago

      I guess this is probably true for most marriages, but it's not for mine! I still am very excited to, how did you put it, get mounted. No negotiating needed here! I have been married for 6 years now. It never gets old for me!