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New Age Marriage: Rules to Follow for a Happily Ever After
A Happy Married Life: It's Not Easy Anymore
Gone are the days when marriages actually meant a happily ever after. When divorce rates were lower and getting married means sticking to your partner no matter how horrible the situation turns out to be. Tolerance levels have since gone down and relationships (especially marriages) have a big question mark hovering over them. Nowadays, more often that not, you get to hear that someone's relationship is "complicated" (a relationship status made more popular by Facebook). You never know when things will go crashing down. But you can have a huge control over how your marriage can turn out, provided you exchange your old rule book to a new one. A book which is more suitable for today. So what should you keep in mind before venturing into a blissful married life? What is it that the new gen should be careful about and how do you deal with such situations? Let's find out.
Giving each other space is absolutely necessary. Yes, even in a marriage! Not only does it keep the romance alive but it also prevents your partner from feeling suffocated from the over dose of attention. It becomes even more difficult to find space after you get married because you have made an entry into each other's personal zones. Guys especially prefer some time alone, retreat into their own world, and enjoy things which girls might find unimportant - like video games, sports. I have had my guy friends tell me how important it is for them to get this quality "me" time. Same goes for girls too. The point is to give your partner some space whenever needed. He/she might not say it aloud but does his/her gestures suggest that some alone time is needed? A small break from each other helps in unwinding and you are able to focus on your relationship in a better way.
Cure your relationships off problems
2. Resolving Issues
I have lost count of the number of times I have read on how it's important to resolve your issues before going to bed. This doesn't always work. You will fight and there will be days when you will go to bed sulking. Sleeping over problems work for some couples. Fights can get emotionally draining; you don't think straight and there's a high possibility anything you say or do at that given time can further deteriorate the situation. Getting a good sleep allows you time to de-stress yourselves and make proper decisions the next day.
3. Doing Things Together?
It is all but natural to get a wee bit lost in your marriage and dedicate time to doing things that only your partner would enjoy. Even though this might make your partner happy, try as you might, you will be left feeling a tad resentful. To avoid this, you should make it a point to do things that you enjoy. If your partner is up to it, well and good. If not, go out and enjoy it yourself. This includes holidaying to desired destinations with like-minded friends, watching your kind of movie, playing your kind of sports, shopping for as long or quickly as you like without your partner's intervention. This won't make your partner like you less, rather they would be grateful that you are not dragging them to doing things that they absolutely dread!
4. Sharing Chores
Times have changed. Women are now equally responsible for bringing in the finances to manage a household. They work as hard and by the end of the day they are as worn out as their hard working husbands. So why not share the household chores? This allows more time for couples to spend time with each other as tasks get done quickly. Less stress, more leisure naturally helps a relationship and this is what a married couple should strive in achieving. If that requires each other's help, then why not?
5. Money Matters
Financial management is very crucial in a marriage and if handled in the wrong way can even lead to the end of a relationship. If both partners are working, is it better to maintain an individual account or joint account? Are you both financially stable enough to handle household expenses? This is a sensitive topic as some even after marriage would prefer to keep their individual bank accounts rather than opting for a joint one. At this day and age when there's no guarantee how long a relationship can run, this seems like a practical option. But there's a chance your partner might get offended by this and consider it as a breach of trust. Financial stability is also crucial in leading a stress-free married life. No matter how much you love each other, if there are monetary problems involved (no thanks to rising cost of living), rest assured, relationship stress will creep in! I have seen couples getting married in a haste and then breaking up because they couldn't handle the financial stress.
Whatever your decision may be, It is absolutely necessary to discuss this before marriage so as to avoid any rude shocks later on.
Here's a Question for You
According to you, what's the best age to get married?
© 2014 Kalpana Iyer