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New Relationship Tips: The Power To Succeed Is In YOUR Hands

Updated on March 15, 2015
Relationshipc profile image

I'm a full-time blogger and ghostwriter. I enjoy writing about how to be happier in life and in love.

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You have the power to make a new relationship go well or bad. You really do!

Of course, your new partner has some power as well - but even if your partner turns out to be horrible, you still have the power to leave their ass and find someone better.

The point is that you have the power to be happy, and when it comes to a new relationship, there is some stuff you can do to ensure that you are happy.

The thing about a relationship just starting out is that it requires exactly the same kind of attention that a long-term relationships does.

Why?

Because it is in the beginning stages, and you have to build a solid foundation (that has no holes or cracks in it) or else your relationship could come tumbling down after a few months or years. Holes and cracks have a way of eating away at the foundation and causing problems later on.

So, trust, communication, and fun should all be a part of a new relationship, and if it is not, then get ready for cracks!

How To Build Trust: You Need To Listen To This!

How To Communicate Effectively

Communication is very important in a new relationship! Make sure you do it right.

In a college course I took for interpreting for the deaf, we were put through an exercise on effective communication. I have never forgotten that exercise, and if you really want to communicate with your partner in a way that helps you connect, avoid issues, and understand each other better, then you should always try to communicate with this is mind.

The Communication Exercise

We separated off into pairs and had a divider placed in between us. Each pair had a set of identical shaped blocks on their side of the divider.

One person began by telling the other person how they were placing their blocks, and the listener had to try to place the blocks the same way as the person talking.

When we got to see how close we were at replicating the blocks, everyone had failed. Not one person had effectively communicated or listened well enough to build the blocks in the exact same manner.

It's not as if we were a class full of selfish dumbasses who didn't know how to listen. This was a class of smart people who interacted with others very well (we had to if we wanted to become interpreters.)

What I learned was:

  • We don't always say everything we need to in order to get our point across.
  • We don't always listen to the other person well enough to understand their point.
  • We translate words and statements differently than other people.

Which means that if you want to communicate effectively, you need to:

  • Make sure you are clear when you are talking so that you get your point across.
  • Listen when someone else is talking, and give them your full attention.
  • Realize that what you hear may not be what they said because we all talk differently.
  • Make sure that you clarify what someone said to you.

These rules are especially true in new relationships.

When you are in a relationship for a long time, you began to understand what your partner is saying to you. (Or you should if you have been communicating effectively!) However, in a new relationship, it is very easy to misinterpret what your partner is saying, miss important details that they want you to know, and cause your partner to feel misheard, unloved, and neglected.

Just like the video said, taking the time to listen (and communicate effectively) will help build trust.

How To Have Fun In A New Relationship

Without fun, there is no reason for your partner to be with you. An intimate partner is so supposed to enrich your life in some way, not drag it down; therefore, fun is an important part of making a new relationship last and stand the test of time.

Date Night or Date Day

It doesn't matter how long you have been dating, you should start a date night. A date night gives you something to look forward to with your partner and helps to improve your bond both as lovers and as friends.

My husband and I try to do something different every date day (Saturday). Having new, pleasurable experiences together helps us to grow closer as a couple. Don't skip out on this tip!

Accept Your Partner's Idea Of Fun

Sitting on the couch and watching Survivor may not be your idea of fun, but if is your partner's idea of fun, then don't pooh-pooh it.

Too many people nitpick their partners because they feel that they are not doing something right or are experiencing life in the wrong way. Remember, your new relationship has two people in it, and allowing your partner to be the person that they are, will help you be someone that they enjoy being around.

Have A Great Attitude

Your new relationship may not always go the way you expect. Heck, your life may not always go the way you expect. But if you have a great attitude towards both, then you can keep the fun in your relationship.

I know many people who are very negative, and I can tell you that it is a huge relationship killer to be a negative, grumpy, or pessimistic person. It may be funny on a comedy movie, but in real life it sucks to be around someone like that.

If you want to keep your new relationship happy and moving forward on a great note, then keep a great attitude. You can do this in many ways including:

Living in the moment - I dare you to try and not feel good about life when you are living in the moment. The past is what brings about stress, and the future is what brings about worry - but the present moment helps you to see things clearly without influence and maintain a positive attitude.

Keeping Things In Perspective - Always keep things in perspective and do not make things bigger or worse than they are. Many times we allow our beliefs, judgments, and past experiences to take over the way we view someone or something. However, this usually adds more detail to the situation then there actually is. For instance, if your partner forgets to call you, then you may take it as a sign they no longer want to be with you because, one time, someone else didn't call you and then broke up with you.

Make Your New Relationship Last!

In the end, if you want your new relationship to last, then you need to consider the above things. Make trust, communication, and fun a huge part of your relationship.

Remember, right now you are building the foundation of your future together and you do not want any cracks or holes in that foundation!

Comments

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    • AmandaJon profile image

      Amanda Jones 

      5 years ago

      Great tips, think they are important! Voted up and useful.

    • misslong123 profile image

      Michele Kelsey 

      5 years ago from Edmond, Oklahoma

      The video on how to build trust was intriguing to me, because that is one of my faults. I don't easily trust others, but I think he was talking more in terms of how to get another person to trust you. He gave some excellent pointers that I am going to try! It would be cool to see a Hub on how to trust someone though. Thanks. Michele

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Relationshipc,

      I guess persistence doesn't always pay off :-) For whatever reason, I've always been the type to "try to make it work" even when I know it never will. I take a failed relationship as a personal failure even if the failing wasn't necessarily much of anything to do with me, personally. Well, it's advice like yours that helps a girl see more clearly.

    • savvydating profile image

      Yves 

      5 years ago

      Fantastic hub. Fun and communication are key in romantic relationships, that is, if you want them to last. There is nothing more to add; you've covered it all SO well!. Up & awesome.

    • Relationshipc profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari 

      5 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      @Can't - There really is a choice, but I find that old habits die hard and when you start off a relationship in the wrong way, it is hard to change the way you relate down the road...not impossible, just hard - so starting the new relationship off right just makes things easier as the relationship progresses. Thanks for the great comment!

    • Relationshipc profile imageAUTHOR

      Kari 

      5 years ago from Alberta, Canada

      @Hawaii - Excellent addition to the article! Faith is a huge part of finding happiness and success in a relationship. And thanks for the date night wish - we plan to make it fun!

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 

      5 years ago from New York

      Relationshipc,

      Gee, I wish I would have this 15 years ago! I read this and I see how many things I have been guilty of. I see reasons why relationships have failed and it makes so much sense to me. The last relationship I had started with fun, but no foundation or at least one full of holes and it has been an ugly battle for five years since. Broken things can be fixed or walked away from... but there is always a choice isn't there? Loved this!

      Voted up and Awesome!

      Cat

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 

      5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Hi, Kari!

      I like your hub because it addresses the nuances of a NEW relationship as well as how to bring NEW to a long-term relationship. You kept it simple by addressing three facets--trust, communication, and fun--the core from which most other aspects are spun.

      I realize what I'm about to share is controversial, but you speak your truth and deserve nothing less from your fans and readers. If I were to add anything else, it would be FAITH. We are fallible human beings, but when there's faith in a relationship, there's forgiveness, acceptance, empathy, and compassion.

      Thanks for sharing, Kari, and I hope you and hubby have a wonderful date night tomorrow and a terrific weekend overall! Aloha, my friend!

      Joe

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