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Can You Pass The Latest Sperm Propulsion and Distance Test?

Updated on October 28, 2015

Oops, Wrong Sperm Delivery System

Man Sperm -Not Sperm Whales Read More
Man Sperm -Not Sperm Whales Read More

Hot off the presses of The Oalkand Press

The True and Ongoing Story of Sadie Bell and her under-achieving lover.

How do you measure love and better yet fidelity?

Here's Sadie's Way ....

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Forget Viagra men. The jig is up. Your sexual performance may now be measured by volume. Not the kind of volume ED drugs like the blue pill promise. No, the new standard for some women now that the news is out is the volume of ejaculate a man is able to propel to his sex partner. At least that’s the standard of Sadie Bell of Southfield, Michigan, a near suburb of Detroit. She wanted more but her lover of 15 years couldn’t deliver and came up short.

In fact according to an account of the incident in the July 27 edition of the Oakland Press: “Authorities said Bell shot her lover Edward Lee, after he produced what she believed to be an inadequate amount of ejaculate during a sexual encounter.”

That volume or lack of a sufficient volume Mr. Lee’s ejaculate apparently not only took away from the pleasure of the sex act itself, but in Ms Bell’s mind, it was also proof positive that her long term sex partner/lover was active with other females prior to their tryst.

The exact method of the ejajucate measurement thankfully were not revealed but apparently were accurate enough for Ms. Bell to take her illegal firearm and shoot her love drained partner for being a pint or so short (a guestimate). Fortunately he survived the attack, but further cheating dalliances, although unlikely with Ms. Bell will be attempted only after long layoffs. For now, in this day of relaxed morality, sexual permissiveness and accurate semen measurement, sex activity may be dangerous if the rules and implications are not followed.

Sadie was convicted and released on bond because the judge believed she was not dangerous to anyone but her lover - but good judgement eventually prevailed and the bond that had been set earlier was revoked. Sadie is appealing both the revocation and her assault to do great bodily harm less than murder charge and the firearm felony charge.

This case may have an effect on how the legal community may see this issue. is that a man should “measure up” to his full potential or face the threat of failure to live up to the marriage agreement, cheating under that oath and a wish list of charges from an unsatisfied, disappointed female sexual companion be it wife or girlfriend or ??

But the issue here is much larger than it appears at first” blush, ”As a result of this case, men from all walks of life wonder what possibilities lie ahead as far as bedroom performance, No longer is sex gratification primarily a guy thing. Put out or get out is the new battle cry of aggressive young oops, scratch the young. Ms Bell is 58 and still in her prime.

More pressure on men folk means they will be searching for ways to improve their output. It could be the beginning of an entirely new industry or at least a sideline of the of the ED industry. As far as men are now concerned, the ante has been raised and more is expected of them, at least by a segment of the opposite sex.

Will the industry respond with a dual purpose ED/Volume pill and scientific measuring equipment? What about sperm propulsion systems?

Will men with a tendency to stray or who whose sexual appetite cannot be satisfied change their ways now that volume has entered the picture?

You’ve come a long way ladies. Will it take a few more shooting incidents to bring the matter to the forefront? Will me sucumb to the latest pressure? Could thismean the beginning of the end of population expansion?

Time will tell. Mr. Lee’s status is unknown at this time.


Evidence Gatherer.

accurate measurement to prove his fidelity may stand up in court and back your contention of your lover's infidelity.
accurate measurement to prove his fidelity may stand up in court and back your contention of your lover's infidelity. | Source

Winning sperm advances to the finish line

And the winner is  Beetlespermbaum
And the winner is Beetlespermbaum


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    • Kramar profile image

      Snarky Babbler 2 years ago from USA

      you are so right. i goofed on my calculations, unless as you point out she was a pedophilac cougar with an uncontrolable hankering for intense sexual gratification.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      It appears my original comment was deleted.

      However Kramar for your 18 year old "boy toy" theory to work that would make Ms. Sadie Bell a child molester since supposedly her and Mr. Lee had been lovers for 15 years! (He would have been 3 years old)

      FYI: Edward Lee was (60) at the time he was shot.

      This was also not the first time Ms. Bell had shot a man. Back in 1991 she shot her then husband. Clearly she's mentally unstable.

    • Kramar profile image

      Snarky Babbler 2 years ago from USA

      Ms. Bell might be a panther with a 18 yr. old boy toy.

    • Happy Moment profile image

      James 2 years ago from The Eastern Bypass

      What truly determines the volume of what a man ejaculates? I guess it is not only infidelity but also the nutritional status of a man considering that sperms are protein rich cells