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No Hood like Motherhood
Welcome To My Hood
Welcome to my hood; where gang banging, sagging pants and shorts skirts are prohibited. Where the only guns we load up are glue guns for school projects. In this hood we protect our own and others as well, without prejudice of jurisdiction. This is the only hood in America where you can get a warm hug, good food, and guidance for life. You might have guessed it by now, the hood I am referring to is motherhood. This is the most rewarding “hood”, yet the least recognized amongst the nation. Mothers all across the globe could care less about recognition for all that we do on a day to day basis. We don’t represent our hood for praises, we do it because we love to. We get our satisfaction from our children who randomly wrap their little arms around our necks and tell us how much they love us. Mothers hardly ever look for the accolades, because we know we’ll never get them. Yet we strive to be the best parents to our children that we can possibly be. We realize that no one is perfect, but it is the effort that one puts into motherhood that counts the most. So many women get caught up in making sure their kid looks good, instead of making sure their kid reads well. Real women know that it is just as important to be educated as it is to look good. In any case, this is my hood and all of my “homies” that are a part of this hood, can relate.
Early mornings, late nights. This is the day in the life of a full time mommy. There is not a moment of peace I get to myself other than my bathing time, and even then I might be interrupted by one of my children proclaiming they have to use the potty and it can’t wait. From the point my children wake up in the morning until the time they go to sleep at night, I am on duty. If I am not helping with homework, I’m preparing dinner. If I’m not cooking dinner, I’m changing a pamper. If I’m not changing a pamper, I’m taking out the garbage. People tell me all the time being a mother is not a job because you don’t get paid. I tend to disagree. Being a full time mother is a job and the pay is crap…no literally my youngest son craps at least 3x a day. Oh the joy! Each and every decision I make directly affects all three of my children simultaneously. The choices I make for myself have to be based on whether or not my children will be positively or negatively affected. If I were a selfish woman, I’d do whatever I pleased whether it hurt my children or not. However, that’s not how any of this works. I decided to bear my children and I did not bring them to this world to hurt or neglect them…only to protect them. Just recently I had to reject an evening work opportunity because my obligation is to my children first. I was called many names and referred to as a greedy woman, but the same people who called me those names have not one child of their own to tend after, nor could they ever begin to understand my position as a mother doing it on her own. Besides, I’ve been called worst by people who have meant more. Bite me.
Being a mother has taught me many things about myself as a woman. It has taught me patience, unconditional love, and responsibility to name a few. I have been parenting for the last 6 years and believe me you, I have made tons of mistakes! I gave birth to my first born son at the age of 19. At that time in my life, I had no desire to be a parent. I was young, hot and didn’t want the responsibility…(at first). I knew NOTHING about raising a child! However, the further along I got into my pregnancy the more I became comfortable with the idea of being a mother. When my son was born, I fell in love for the first time in my life. I remember feeling the sense of responsibility and obligation rise up in my heart. I remember being overly protective of him and demanding people to wash their hands before touching my precious baby boy. For me, when I became a mother, I matured into the woman I needed to be. My initiation into motherhood took exactly 9 months. My firstborn son is alive, healthy, and not to mention very smart, at the age of 6…so I figure, I must be doing something right.
Motherhood is a joy, but it can be frustrating at times. Times when I just want a moment to myself. FOR A WEEK!! To think or write, or simply do nothing at all! Being a full time mother, I rarely get the opportunity to hang out with friends or go to the hottest party in town. I am still very young/beautiful and as a young woman, I too, enjoy a good margarita, tasteful music and a good time. Yet, my life revolves around my children. There are not too many people who are willing to baby sit three children just so mommy can have a good time. I don’t believe know anyone that nice, not for free anyway! At times I feel like a chicken with its head cut off trying to make sure each of my children has what they need for successful day either at school, or day care. In all instances, I put my own wants and needs last in comparison to my children. I have the ability to wait for the things that I want or need, my children however, do not. A doctor Martin once told me that the organism must come first, the organism being one’s self. I have to make sure I am at least healthy enough to take care of my children. I have to make sure there is some sort of cash flow coming so that I could provide for my children. I also have to continue my education to show them that learning never stops. There are things that I HAVE to do to make sure everything is taken care of. Sometimes I have to do things I don’t necessarily want to do to make sure my children have what they need. Like brown nosing my boss and working for way less than minimum wage just to get 100$ per week of “under the table” money. Is it enough? Hardly. Is it appreciated? Very much so. I’m a mother, I have learned the craft of “making it stretch”. That’s how we get down in the “hood”. We make something, out of literally nothing at all.
Although frustrating, motherhood has its rewards. Like when Valentine’s Day comes around and my children make the cutest little ‘I love you’ handmade cards. I shed tears of happiness because I know it’s from their innocent little hearts. For Mother’s Day celebration, they make crafts at school and bring them home to show me how much they appreciate me as their mother. I get the most satisfaction when my middle child, Ja’Liyah (my only girl) runs up to me out of nowhere, hugs and kisses me and tells me I am the best mother in the world! Some days I don’t feel like I am, but my children make sure I know how much I mean to them. In this “hood” mothers are reverenced and respected amongst all faculty and peers. I get mad respect from the PTA President because he knows I’m a mother who is all about the educational success of her children. Last week, report cards came out. I was a bit concerned because we just moved to a new state, and I often wondered how it affected my children. I was elated to find my son (Michael) is doing above my expectations, bringing home 5 A’s and 2 B’s. It was rewarding for me as a mother because I know how much I put into their homework. It may take all night or just 30 minutes, however long it takes, I make sure they complete each and every assignment they bring home. Yes, I know it was my son who actually made the grade, but it is me, their mother, who pushes them towards excellence and accepts nothing but the best. In my opinion, the highest honor a mother can get is an outstanding well behaved child. My reward is seeing my children excel because of my effort.
My “hood” can get pretty rowdy at times. Luckily my children have a mother who loves to laugh and have fun. They only see my strict side when rules are broken. Let’s just say, they don’t break rules too often in my home. My daughter thinks she’s an acrobat, she’s always flipping jumping and twirling around. My oldest son Michael thinks he some sort of rock star. He has a drum and microphone set so he bangs, sings, and harmonizes until my nerves can’t take it anymore. My youngest son just turned one, and can now walk. His favorite place to play is in the bathroom toilet. Gross, I know! Just today I went to use the bathroom and found my favorite pink nail polish in the toilet. Kids...they do the darnedest things. Each one of my children are different, so I love them each in different ways. The love I have for each of them over powers any “wrong” they can possibly do. One thing I will never do is play favoritism with my children. I’ve hated favoritism since I was a child and will not inflict that kind of hurt to my children so help me GOD. To be honest, I don’t like any one of them, but I love them all to death! Only real mothers will understand that statement.
From barrettes and bows, to fresh haircuts & clean clothes, my “hood” offers it all. I don’t have the luxury as most parents so I have to “make it do what it do”. I work those long pointless hours for minimum pay because of them, not me. I wake up at 6am every morning for them, not because I am a morning person. I sacrifice my time just to see them smile. I wanted in this “hood” and there is no backing out. In the 90’s street gangs used to beat their members in or out. The only beating I had to endure was labor, and I did that 3x, natural. Yeah, so I’m pretty much a member of this “hood” for life, I wouldn’t trade it for any other. Women hardly get the respect they deserve as mothers. People are always trying to minimize our abilities. Society throws shade at mothers of multiple children. To tell you the truth, mommies are some of the hardest, kick ass tough people in the world! Go ahead and try a mama bear about her young, she will most likely bite your head off!! Our duty is to love nurture and protect our young. Raise them up right with morals and values, and still allow them to be themselves. I commend ALL mothers worldwide because I am one!!
I’d like to welcome you to realest “hood” ever known to (WO) man, MOTHERHOOD: enter if you dare.