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“No, You’re The F*g!” Another Head Shaker In Human Existence

Updated on July 27, 2010


Location: The post office, mid-afternoon. When I entered the post office I could feel that the 110 degree temperature outside was affecting the temperature inside. It felt all of about five degrees cooler inside and the air was as stagnant as the line of unamused people waiting to be serviced by the two counter positions that were open appeared to be mini volcano waiting to blow. It took seconds to realize that although I was only about the fourth person in line, this was not going to be pretty. At one of the counter positions, the customer was waiting looking at his watch. The counterperson was not in evidence, leading me to believe that he was in the back looking for a package or something for the customer. At the other counter position a small man of Indian descent looked as if he was trying to explain something to the large woman who had a box atop the counter that was not sealed with items revealing themselves through the top of the open box. And so it would come to pass that fifteen minutes later the only thing that had moved in the line was the next person up who disgustedly left the post office and the rest of us who shuffled our weight from one hip to the other.

About this time a short chubby woman in postal uniform began to walk the line. “Are you mailing something? In or out of the country? Do you need help? It’s okay, you’re in the right line stay where you are.” While she addressed each person individually and I thought that it was a good idea to have some expedite the line, I know we were all secretly thinking the same thing, “If you have time to be out working the crowd, perhaps you should get your butt to one of the other counter positions and actually start REALLY helping those of us who have been on line this long.” Finally the large woman with the open box began to move from her position at the counter and before a sigh of relief could come from the line, in swooped a tall blond man who had not been the next in line in his late forties to the counter. Two from the front of the line, a very large man with dark hair and appeared to be in his forties as well bellowed, “I don’t know where the fuck you came from dude but you’re not next!” The swooping man looked back at the large man in disbelief that he had even questioned him and then responded with, “Ask that guy there who I am (gesturing to the other counter person who had finally returned from wherever he was) he told me to come over here.” Trying to save face the dark haired man mumbled something inaudible and then put his arm around a slight woman that was with him that gave the appearance of a cave man and his woman. When the tall blonde man left the counter he looked at the dark man and said, “Fuck you.” The dark man said something to him I couldn’t quite hear but then in response to what he said, as the tall blonde man passed me he looked back over his shoulder at the dark haired man and said, “No, YOU’RE the fag!” And I stood there, pissed off more than I could say.

Never mind for a second that everyone in the world thinks they’re too special to wait in a line. Never mind for a second that these men were in their forties behaving like children on a playground. Even take the fact that they called each other “fags” in this day and age and at their day and age on this planet. It made me wonder when we as a civilization would learn to be civil or if we ever will.

You can blame the way someone grew up or their socioeconomic circumstances but at the end of the day, none of it is really relevant to me. While I believe that by the time people become a certain age they should have acquired the skills to be out in public and interacting appropriately, the more I’m around people the less people I think are ready for human interaction and that I’m completely wrong. Maybe everyone needs to stay on their computers making their semi-anonymous comments to vent their frustrations and anger, even their misguided anger at themselves that they are not where they want to be or treated as they’d like to be treated. Could it be that in this age of technological wonderment like the iPhone with video calling and Facebook where you can find someone who wouldn’t speak to you in high school and be their cyber friend that we’ve forced ourselves to become cave dwellers who even though we’re all social networked out to the max, can’t hold a conversation with someone or behave in a line? I’ve oft said that when Twitter came about it seemed as though our short attention spans got even shorter because now instead of blogs or Facebook comments we were reduced to 140 characters to express ourselves and tell everyone what we were having on our hot dog at lunch instead of actually having lunch with and interacting with another human being.

Look, on the whole I’m a positive person but sometimes I just want to scream at people like the forty-something Neanderthals with their screams of “fag” at one another. I want to believe that I can have a meal with someone without one eye of theirs glued to their phone or texting someone. No more I say. No more will I tolerate bad behavior from myself or those around me. I will turn my phone off at dinner, I will interact with the people in front of me, I will give them the benefit of the doubt whenever possible and I will try to lead by example that although technology and everything else encourages us to be a cave dweller that we can actually spend times out of our caves interacting and creating a true civilization filled with civil interaction. In the meantime I’m thinking, “No, YOU’RE the fag!” is this really the best this guy could come up with? We must truly be getting weaker as a civilization even in our repartee, America better be careful because China or the Taliban may just get better at discourse than us and then where will we be? “No, You’re The F*g!” Another Head Shaker In Human Existence – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Amber, I think you're absolutely right in what you write. In fact, here's a comment I received on a YouTube video blog I posted in December or something and just received the following comment today:

      "Someone please take this guy out, and hang him with the scarfs for the homeless, and the joke about an epileptic seizure, he needs to walk the plank into a pit full of alligators.......HAVE YOU NO Decency!!! "

      Although I have to admit that it made me laugh!!!

      Watch the video here -

    • profile image

      Amber 7 years ago

      I thought about this post a lot, Scott. It used to be considered inappropriate (rude even) for adults to correct another adult's behavior; to publicly treat another adult as if s/he were one's own child. Unless actual danger was involved, mere rudeness got whispers and the stink-eye, not outright confrontation. I think the internet is starting to make anonymous rudeness more acceptable.

      I have a friend who insists that if people HAD to sign their real names on their internet vitriol, they would consider more carefully. I think that internet anonymity has spilled over into reality in the "I'll never see this person again so what do I care" correcting of people's behavior (and as well into the general rudeness reflected by your drunken theatergoers of a previous post).

      It sucks. Personally, when observing someone's bad behavior in public I give a generous helping of stink eye. Before making any comment I ask myself the following questions: Would you say that to a friend, not just some random stranger? Would you say it to your friend in public? If the answer is no, then I just shut the hell up (again, unless someone is in actual physical danger). I, like you, also try to give the person the benefit of the doubt---just like I hope people give me when I'm having a public temper tantrum on an exceptionally bad day (I'm not perfect, it happens). :)

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      The world is a crazy and chaotic place, I think, because somewhere in the grander scheme of it all, people's lives have become unbearable and miserable. Not sure why or how that happened. But it seems very apparent to me that it HAS happened. All you can do is your part, which clearly you have decided to do, to be civil and thoughtful and HOPE it rubs off on the rest of the world around you.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Thanks for the comments, gals. I appreciate it.

      EA - As usual, you are correct, I was mentally kicking myself for not saying something at the time but I have read too often of the supposed innocent by-stander opening their mouth only to have their mouth busted wide open. And I supppose I allowed that possible threat to dictate my actions. Not my proudest moment, to be sure.

      I guesss more than anything, like you I would like to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes it's a little difficult for me.

      Thanks again. Scott

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Coffee-Mate!!

      Sorry, that makes you sound like a high calorie, white fake food, and YOU are everything but those things!! (Plus, I only add non-fat choco-soy with stevia to my morning java!!)

      I'm with MotherHubber, most people are being raised by wolves!!

      I wish I could agree with Paradise7 above that it gets better!!Unfortunately, I see no evidence of that!!

      Quite the opposite!! And yes, I do think that those childish slanders exchanged by those unenlightened Neanderthals WAS the BEST they could do!!

      Unfortunately I witness that kind of behavior all the time!! Even with people who know I am a compassionate, sensitive, petite minister - they will let something fly out of their mouths that reveal the sheer terror, desperation and immaturity of their internal worlds!

      And rarely feel bad about it!! They feel completely justified!! After all, they were 'provoked!!'

      When you think about it, why shouldn't they be terrified?? If your best life-skill is about 3rd grade level, how could you possibly negotiate the world successfully?? Work with a boss?? Negotiate a loan?? Understand a computer repair person?? Buy a car!! Let alone have a successful romantic relationship!!

      Communication skills?? Have you seen the latest ads by Verizon??? 'Texting' is now considered 'whielding the ultimate power!!' Like a Jedi Knight, I suppose!!??

      Not only are these people up a creek without a paddle, they are in the middle of rough seas in a small dingy with a leak!

      But what do I know?? I don't 'do' social media!! Yet, just this morning I received a Facebook Friend Invitation from someone who knowingly sold me down the river two years ago!! She cost me over $26,000 and never blinked!! I haven't seen nor spoken to her since!! And now we are going to be 'Friends??'

      I do not wish her any harm; I have long ago forgiven her misguided behaviors!! But I know better than to be sunk twice!!

      I agree with you - being 'Friends' in this way gives a really false sense of connection and resolution without putting in all the effort of a face to face!! "We'll just sweep it under the rug and forget aggregious behaviors!!"

      I love your 'lead by example' remedy!! I believe in it fully!! GO SCOTT!!

      I would challenge you to take it one step further!! Step up with respect when these things happen! There is nothing wrong with calmly saying, 'Wrong sandbox guys' or 'I'm sure you have no idea how you look to others when you behave that way - or you wouldn't do it."

      Of course, that kind of non-violent confrontation might be harder for an openly gay intellectual living in Sin City!! I wouldn't be giving the socially-inept any reason to turn their misdirected rage onto you!! Especially since the worst word in both their vocabularies was 'f_g!!' You might find the tall-blonde with a gun chasing a little red Mini-Cooper!!

      I try to give people the benefit of the doubt!! I know you do, too!! Maybe one's daughter had just been raped, or the other's spouse was in the hospital, or both of their mother's had dropped dead within seconds of each other and neither was aware of the other's pain!!??

      More often than not, however, I find the BIG EMERGENCY is their latte in the car getting cold!!

      You are Mr. Creative and I KNOW you can come up with some appropriate, safe, non-confrontational responses to have ready in your arsenal of wit and good graces!!??

      Blessings on your day GREAT Scott!! Earth Angel!!

    • MotherHubber profile image

      MotherHubber 7 years ago from Southern California

      I've come to the conclusion that most people were raised by wolves. I love all of your observations. It felt like I was in the post office with you! Well-written, and funny as always. xo

    • ladyjane1 profile image

      ladyjane1 7 years ago from Texas

      Couldn't agree with you more Scott here, here!!!

    • profile image

      jode 7 years ago

      AMEN !!!

    • Paradise7 profile image

      Paradise7 7 years ago from Upstate New York

      Both those people sound like they're too rude to live. And I haven't heard that particular perjorative expression in a long, long time--maybe high school. So they are not only rude but very uncool.

      It's a few bad apples, that's all it is. There were other people in line who behaved ok. Take it easy, friend, it gets better.