OH NO - A ZIT!
Remember those high school and/or college days when hormones ran amok and there was no reliable acne treatment available?
Back then we were on our own to try to control ‘zit breakouts’, and it seemed that no matter how careful you were with your diet, which skin cleanser you used (or how often), and which acne remedy you decided to try, those little pimples STILL cropped up, and ALWAYS at the most inopportune times. Of course, back then, they didn’t seem so ‘little’…….
So you did it. You finally got a date with the person of your dreams!
The big night approaches and things are lookin’ good- you’ve been watching what you ate, faithfully using ‘skin scrub’, exercising, and whitening your teeth. Your body’s firmer, your belly’s flatter, your complexion is as smooth as a baby’s…err…AND your brilliantly white teeth would make a supermodel jealous.
You are looking SO hot – definitely worthy to be seen with YDD (your dream date).
And finally…TONIGHT is THE night!
As the time draws closer, you play the scene over and over in your mind….a stylish drive with YDD in a GIGANTIC black limo, all while making incredible witty conversation. You don’t miss a beat. Every word out of your mouth drips with intellect and acumen. You arrive at your destination: The latest ‘IN’ restaurant – exclusive and expensive. (You can’t believe you were actually able to get reservations there!)
YDD is impressed, you can tell.
After more clever conversation and an exceedingly delicious meal (who cares that the portions were made for a hamster and you are still starving?!), you and YDD:
(Fill in the blank depending upon gender and preference):
- Attend the latest pro football/baseball/basketball/hockey game with seating that would make a VIP drool
- Attend a private showing in an exclusive theater, of the soon to be released, to die for, tear-jerker film that already has critic reviews indicating a runaway success
After the game/film it’s back to the limo, and you are transported to an exclusive spa, where you both receive massages after spending a relaxing 20 minutes in a hot tub. Once again in the limo, and it’s off to a fantastic observation point, where the lights of the city twinkle far below.
As you lean towards each other and your lips meet………..
WAIT A MINUTE – WHAT is THAT?!
You run to a mirror as your fingers furiously explore your face and- OH NO – A ZIT!
The amazing visions of the perfect night with YDD vaporize like water onto hot coals.
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN?!
A new vision takes hold: You see YDD looking at you with undeniable revulsion in their eyes as they regard the HUGE zit on your face. Muttering something unintelligible, they turn away from you and start to walk away….
“WAIT! Don’t go! It’s just a little zit- it won’t bite you!” YDD turns back towards you and in horror, out of the corner of your eye you see your new ‘facial friend’ magically expand to 3 times its size and-
What’s THAT? TEETH- it’s growing TEETH!
A second glance confirms that it is now bigger than your nose…and STILL growing!
You run to the bath room and fumble in the cabinet for the bottle of “Zit-B-Gone”, pry the lid off & slather a huge dose onto your ever-expanding buddy. A sigh of relief escapes you as you flip on the light switch. In disbelief you stare at the bottle in your hand – it’s your room-mates bottle of Rogaine!
Looking back in the mirror confirms it- now it has teeth AND hair, AND is growing at an alarming rate….if something isn’t done soon it will begin to block the vision of your left eye….
The telephone rings, jarring you back to reality. “Hello?”
“Hi. It’s me.” I was wondering if we could postpone out date until next week…if you don’t mind…Errr…I….if it’s OK with you…..”
A huge wave of relief floods over you. You try to keep your cool. “No. I mean, YES… Ah, it’s no problem, it’s FINE- I don’t mind.” (Well, so much for witty conversation).
“Great! So I’ll see you next week – same time, OK?”
You choke down the lump that’s threatening to cut off your air. “Sure. It’s a date! See you then.”
Hanging up the phone you check the mirror once again. A tiny pimple, about the size of a pencil point is just starting to form under the skin next to your nose. You scratch at it gently with your fingernail and it dissolves into nothingness.