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Oh, You're Just a Stay at Home Mom

Updated on October 20, 2012
The Oppressed Lives of Stay-at-Home Moms by Dale O'Leary
The Oppressed Lives of Stay-at-Home Moms by Dale O'Leary | Source

If you have chosen to stay home to take care of your family I’m sure you have been confronted with the idea that you don’t do anything important because you do not have a job outside the home. When you get asked the question “What do you do?” you may feel like you don’t have a good answer. I hope after reading this you will think differently about this question and how main stream America is wrong about the value of your life.

You make a difference…

Whether someone has survived cancer and wants to support research to heal others or someone has lost a child to binge drinking and they want to warn parents and young people about its dangers there is one thing they almost always say. “If I can reach just one person it will all be worth it.” Pastors, activists, teachers are all committed to affecting someone in a life changing way. People fear living their whole lives and never making an impact.

Well, wake up Mama. You are dramatically affecting at least one person with your choice to stay home with them (more if you’re like me and have multiple kids). You are sharing your knowledge with them. You are teaching them right from wrong. Showing them how to handle things in life like relationships, money, handling emotions and the list goes on. Their entire existence is different because you are there. You will reach at least one person and that will make it all worth it.

You are a solution to the problem…

Why are kids so bad these days? This question is postulated by experts and lay people alike but there does seem to be a resounding common thread. Parental influence or lack thereof. No one can deny that when a child is allowed to make their own decisions without someone to set and enforce boundaries they will suffer. They may eventually get themselves straightened out but the risk of them causing severe pain to themselves and others along the way is great. You are part of the solution not the problem.

The Wealthy Stay at Home Mom By Tyanne
The Wealthy Stay at Home Mom By Tyanne | Source

You are lucky…

Sure, parents who work can still be good parents with a positive influence on their children but when you have to work outside of the house 8 hours a day your attention is naturally divided. Also, those 8 hours a day (usually more) the kids are in someone else’s care. Working parents spend less time with their children each day than teachers and caregivers. You are lucky to get to stay home with your kids. Some families don’t have a choice. If one parent isn’t able to make enough to support the family or there is only one parent to make an income having mom stay home is not an option.

Nobody on their deathbed has ever said "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

You have nothing to prove…

When it comes right down to it you have one of the most demanding jobs on the planet. It doesn’t end at 5PM. It presents new challenges every day. It demands self-sacrifice and hard work. It requires organizational skills, social skills, and critical thinking skills.

To sum up...

  • You make a difference
  • You are a solution to a problem
  • You are lucky
  • You have nothing to prove

I don't know anyone who would argue that this list is a sure sign of success. Don't let poor concepts of what it is to be a stay at home mom cloud that fact.

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    • Dreamjar profile image
      Author

      Dreamjar 4 years ago from Florida

      For me the thing that weighs on me the most is the lack of feeling as though I have accomplished something. At a job outside the home I had tasks to complete and when they were finished I would get a sense of accomplishment. Whether it was working at a fast food place and I had rung up 100's if not 1000's of orders and had a perfectly balanced till, working in a plus size fashion store and I made a woman who thought she could never look good in anything feel confident, or as a teacher breaking through to a student who had resided themselves to being below average I was accomplishing goal that were immediately tangible to me. As a SAHM who home schools my goals are much more long term and unlike a job outside of the home where my consistency, reliability, and positive attitude about always going above and beyond was always recognized and appreciated my efforts are what is expected of me and not seen as special or as any great effort on my part. The things that are noticed are the things that don't get done.

      That is why this article is important to me because, even though I wrote it, I sometimes forget too.

      If no one else tells you today you are doing a good job and thank you.

    • Sharkye11 profile image

      Jayme Kinsey 4 years ago from Oklahoma

      Excellent hub that makes many wonderful points. I had the fortune of having my mother stay home with me and my siblings from the time I was too. Yes...we didn't have all the luxuries in life, but we did have a mother that was there for us 24/7. She homeschooled us too, which took a lot of dedication. She had many opportunities to finish her education and pursue a career, but she considered us more important.

      When I had my daughter, I decided to stay at home. This last year, with my husband off work due to an injury, we have scraped the bottom of the barrel, and many people have insulted me for not going to work. However, like Practicalmommy said, by the time I paid for gas, lunch and daycare, I would be working for free. But at home I can manage the budget, cook healthy meals, make sure that my husband and daughter are cared for each day. I wouldn't trade the chance to stay at home for any money, even though it is harder than working a job! Like you, I think that a lot of "bad kids" are just the result of not having parental guidance.

      Voting up and more!

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 4 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      Its still a hard job if you don't have children. I think that it takes a strong women to do it, to do it well and also to find fulfillment in it because I can't...I feel like half of myself when I am not working.

    • chlxee profile image

      Chloe West 4 years ago from Charleston

      I really like this. I'm about to have a baby and am trying to decide whether I would like/be able to be a stay at home mom. When I was a kid, I always hated that my parents could never come on field trips with me because they had to work, and constantly felt neglected by my mom. That being said, I'd love to be able to stay at home with my child. On the other hand, I've always planned on working for a living and I really like making money! Tough decision.

    • Melis Ann profile image

      Melis Ann 4 years ago from Mom On A Health Hunt

      It is important for parents not to lose sight of how important their job is if they do stay home to raise children. Unfortunately our society does not value it like they should and thus it is looked to be something lesser than a company career. Your hub is a good reminder of why it is just as important as any other career.

    • Life and Luxury profile image

      Life and Luxury 4 years ago from South Beach, FL

      I am a stay at home wife WITHOUT children, and I still stay busy cooking from scratch, cleaning a big house, sewing, gardening, etc. So I can just imagine the big responsibilities associated with having children at home. Your children will be much more well-adjusted because you are there. It's too bad so many modern women just don't get how important maintaining a happy home and family are. Kudos to you.

    • Radcliff profile image

      Liz Davis 4 years ago from Hudson, FL

      Thanks for the encouragement, Dreamjar. I sure needed it today! I love that second photo, too :)

    • Dreamjar profile image
      Author

      Dreamjar 4 years ago from Florida

      ThePracticalMommy and abbykorinnelee, both of you are so right and I hope you were encouraged by my article and that you go out of your way to encourage other SAHM. We all have our days we feel discouraged and unappreciated but the occasional reminder from each other can go a long way in reminding us why we do it.

    • abbykorinnelee profile image

      Abigayle Malchow 4 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

      No one is JUST a stay at home mom! I am a single mom of four kids that goes to classes at the college to finish my degree during their school hours...I swear that housewifes need a paycheck with everything we do

    • ThePracticalMommy profile image

      Marissa 4 years ago from United States

      It's hard in this economy to be a stay-at-home mom, I'm finding. So may people ask me why I just don't go back to work, but here's what they don't understand: going back to work means the kids need to go into daycare. Daycare costs would eat away my paycheck, plus the money I'd be spending on gas takes away the rest. Why do that when I can make a difference here at home, taking care of my own kids and keeping the house together?

      I also like to think that as you suggest, I am giving my kids all the attention they need at this stage in their life. What other kids can say these days that Mom is home with them all day or waiting for them when they get home from a long day at school? Not many, unfortunately.

      It's often a thankless job, but some of us have to do it! Great hub.

    • Dreamjar profile image
      Author

      Dreamjar 4 years ago from Florida

      Thanks Eddwen and Laceylinks. I wrote this to encourage other stay at home moms to value what they do whether the world does or not.

    • Laceylinks profile image

      Mary Green 4 years ago from Alabama

      I was talking to the operations manager of the mall I work at. He had just caught two fifteen year old girls who had "skipped" the movie they were dropped off (by grandma) to view, and were being followed (stalked, was his expression) around by several interested twenty-something year old guys. Where were their parents? Probably at work. A call to a father received a very appreciative response, and the girls were transported safely home. Part of the problem created by two working parents, not enough supervision, too much freedom. Who is taking care of the kids these days? Grandma, and she's often much too trusting and easily manipulated. Good Hub, voted up and useful.

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

      A great hub and thanks for sharing , take care and enjoy your weekend.

      Eddy.