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Oil Rig Life: How to Keep the Home Fire Burning

Updated on August 11, 2015

How to Keep Your Wife Happy without Sacrificing your Life on an Oil Rig

"Oil rig life" Sounds great doesn't it? Life on the road, eating out every night and of course, who can complain about the pay cheques!! Wow it all sounds wonderful doesn't it? Rig life does have huge benefits but it also has its down sides.

Just like any job on the road, life on an oil rig, can make relationships difficult. Wives are left at home while men are out working. This can put an awful lot of strain on a marriage.

For some couples this type of lifestyle is easy, but for others it can be unbearable. I know alot of the advice that is given to people that work away on an oil rig is to just quit. People will tell you the money is not worth the hardship it is causing in your marriage. Can you just quit rig life? Maybe.

Maybe you are finacially stable enough to just give up working on the rigs and go home to your family. Then again, maybe you are just an average family trying to keep food on the table, roof over your head and bills paid. If so oil rig life might be all you have right now.

So how do you make relationships work if you are working on the rigs?

  • Call home every day. If it is possible call home everyday and let your wife know you are thinking about her. A short call can often go along ways to easing the loneliness.
  • Head for home as soon as you have time off. Make your wife feel important by coming straight home when your hitch is over. By doing this you are showing your wife that although you have to work away you can't wait to get home to her.
  • Stay out of the bar and away from lounges. It can sometimes be hard to avoid the bar when you are on the road, but it is very important to stay out of them as much as possible. If you are sitting the bar every night your wife will begin to feel like you would rather be at work enjoying yourself then at home with her.
  • Invite your wife out for a visit. When you have been gone for an extra long time invite your wife up. If you have kids I am sure your wife would love it if you arranged for a babysitter for the kids for a few days while she came up to see you.
  • When you are headed home stop and pick something up for your wife. You don't have to buy her anything huge just something that you know she will appreciate. This will show her you are always thinking about her.

If you follow these tips it will really help keep your relationship healthy and alive.

Oil Rigs..Work?

What To Do If Your Wife Leaves You

If your wife is having a hard time dealing with rig life she may decide to leave you. First of all, don't panic...She married you because she loves you. Sometimes oil rig life is overwhelming but when there is love in a relationship you can over come just about anything. Here is a simple strategy that will almost always help.

Give your wife some space and take sometime for yourself. Don't do anything stupid..but do leave her be. Use this time apart to make a few changes in your life.

What this will do is allow you to gradually make some changes in your life and help you to have a new outlook on your relationship. This will also give your wife a chance to miss you and a chance to reflect on what it was she loves about you.

Once you have taken a step back and really had a chance to think things through you will then need to address getting back together. You need to have a strategy in place for how you will do this.

Here are a few tips

  • Do not beg her to take you back. Instead play it cool. Remember she is probably missing you as much as you are missing her.
  • Play hard to get, just don't over do it, Show her that you can make it without her, this will inspire her to really rethink her actions
  • Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way.
  • Take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.

Rig Wife

Just as it takes a certian type of person to work on an oil rig, it also takes a certain type of person to love a rig hand. With any relationship you are bound to eventually run in to some type of disagreement. When it comes to love you can always work through the rough spots.

Oil rig life takes its toll on not only the men out there doing the work but also on the families anxiuosly waiting for the to return. It is a workable situation and you will find that most rig wives love oil rig life as much as their partners. Given the chance many would not want to change their lifstyle. Yes there are times when you just wish you could be together all the time, but you know that life in the patch is part of who you are.

Understand that although your wife may get upset and need to vent her frustrations she still loves you. Be smart and be prepared for where oil rig life is going to take you and you will have a happy marriage.


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    • profile image

      4 years ago

      me and my bf broke was too hard and sad

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      Lisette 4 years ago

      I'm just sad...

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      Aly 5 years ago

      Hey you sound like you would fit in fine in our forum! Come by and check us out!

    • profile image

      snickers 5 years ago

      My husband is in the navy well in the brig now and they are about to give him a dishonorable discharge.He has to find a job and was considering trying to work on an oil rig. I'm used to him being gone all the time so him being away isn't that bad but would the oil rigs even hire him because of his dishonorable discharge? Also does it depend on what state your in? we'er in California right now but want to move to Washington. the navy told him Washington would be a better place to find a job.

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      Angel 5 years ago

      Thanks Becca *smiles*. I use to be able to talk to my hubby but now his arrogance has took over. We have began counselling but as he is hardly here, things have just got worse. I don't know what the guys talk about on the rig but I have noticed his respect towards me begin to diminish very quickly. I know that two of his rig colleagues are getting divorced but he says its the wives fault for being awful. So they clearly make their wives out to be 'nags' and their male ego's do all the rest, claiming what victims they are.

      You're right about the ups and downs…..we have too many of them. And it's not nice when they are more married to their job than they are to you. I suffer when he is away, and when he is home too…..arrogance, cockiness and control, Sunshine atcha! x

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      Becka 5 years ago

      To Angel I agree, the rig does give the men a cocky attitude if ur not working and they are supplying all the income. My hubby does that sometimes. You have to learn how to talk it out. Here in west Texas is a lot of cursing, and yelling, so when my hubby comes home he does tend to be high strung. There are also a lot of drugs out here not legally of corse. If hes starts being really mean sometimes that's a sign of something going on. My hubby just had to fire his bff on his crew cuz he caught him doing steroids. But, for the most part oil field life goes in cycles. Ups and downs. Love some of ur info on here and will definatly have to drop some hints to my hubby about ur advice on here. Thank you for the post.

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      Angel 5 years ago

      Yes they can. They get 10 mins on the phones unless he works the offices too. I think it depends on the rig but if he wanted to call you he would. x

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      guest 5 years ago

      can they really call everyday if they are offshore? my bf has not called me at all, only email. ;(

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      Angel 5 years ago

      Thanks Brook will take a look. Had I have known my husband would go for a job like this in the future, I would have got out before hand! I appreciate it may work for some women, but I'm not one if them.

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      Brook 5 years ago

      The oilfield isn't just a job, its a lifestyle. To help ease the rough patches ladies come join us. Wives of the Oilfield.

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      Angel 5 years ago

      Married nearly one year and on our way to divorce already. Been together 9 years but since the rig job (he started 18 months ago) the strain has been unbelievable. I gave up my full time professional career so I could have quality time when he was home. I still live in a place I'm miserable in the UK (I moved to be with him when he was in the army before the rigs). When he comes home he does courses (he wants to progress) which take up at least 2 weeks of his time home. I go with him like a lapdog, being alone all day) He shows no motivation in us moving house so I can be closer to family and keeps his earnings a secret. I receive a small allowance every month. The rest of his earnings…I dont have a clue of, despite arguments over this. I feel he has He has become addicted to Power, materialistic gain and is now very controlling. He talks to me in a 'cocky' attiude because he knows he has full control with his money and I financially rely on him now. I never in a million years thought he would become so corrupted, but he has. Sorry to share my negative experience but all I can say is that the rig job cleared his debts but at a big expense.

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      Aly Newkirk 5 years ago

      This is just life in ours anyway! This is very imformative and true! We have a site we just started in should come check us out!

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      Roughlifeforrigwife 5 years ago

      Hi I'm totally sad about my bf being gone 6am-8pm

      It makes it hard for me to see him since I work nights. I feel like he and I are losing our bond. I'm depressed. Are there any girls groups in long beach Ca that help Gf and wives who are lonely and confused about how to manage?

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      Assila 5 years ago

      Thank you so much for this post! I am all new to being the significant other to a roughneck and I'm finding it hard specially since there is no phone service in the middle of no where in North Dakota. I'm a mother to a toddler under 2 and a preschooler and really miss my mommy brakes specially when I just don't feel well. I really liked the idea of When you are headed home stop and pick something up for your wife! I plan to show my significant other this post once he come back home. He will have been gone 3 and half weeks too long!

      Thank you again for posting this great post!

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      MrsBeeks Roughneck wife 6 years ago

      I agree with most of the things that you stated in the post.

      I'm a VERY PROUD wife in the oil/gas industry.

      I'm also the mother of 5 children.

      I had a hard time when my husband went back to the patch but I found a great website for the wives/girlfriends to get together and support each other in the forum.

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      rigwife 6 years ago

      I agree 2jaded!

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      2jaded 6 years ago

      The best advice is to stop sleeping with the women you meet in the bars. Then maybe your wife wouldn't have left you!