- Gender and Relationships»
How Do Women Do It?
Being an oilfield wife is anything but a walk in the park. Trying to raise kids, keep house (for stay at home wives), or just trying to hold the fort down while your SO is away for long periods of time is tough. I, myself, am a stay at home wife and mom. Oilfield men and women are some of the toughest people other than our brave military of course. Being hours from their families for endless periods of time causes strain for the family as a whole.
Some of the Toughest Aspects of Oilfield Life
- If you are a stay at home spouse, your SO could be gone for extended periods of time leaving you to feel lonely a lot.
- If you are a stay at home parent as well, you may feel like you NEVER get a break. Especially if they are out of town a lot.
- Trying to still talk to each other with both very busy schedules is tough.
- Life can easily get more complicated with one phone call or one text message.
- Not knowing when your SO is coming home is difficult because you are torn between "I really miss you" and "We have bills to pay".
- Some people may not understand how it feels to be in a relationship or marriage with these kind of situations and end up telling you things like "There are people who have it way worse, get over yourself", and they are never helpful.
NEGATIVITY IS INEVITABLE
As I said above, you will always get those few people that say you are overreacting or stop being such a baby. Coming from someone that had her husband in a whole other state while being in her first trimester, that kind of negativity was not helpful to my hormones or my anxiety. No, I am not comparing oilfield marriages or relationships to being in the military and overseas in any way, however, it can feel that way sometimes. It is not always as easy as it seems.
Stay at Home Wife to an Oilfield Worker
Being a stay at home wife to an oilfield worker can be an adventure a day. Getting to go out of town with your SO can be an amazing experience if you get the chance. My husband and I have been to places we have never been before and experienced so many firsts because he is a Hydro-excavation worker. I know it doesn't sound like oilfield, but they often go hand in hand. More often than not, in fact. We have been to Louisiana together, Corpus Christi, Dallas, Midland, Big Lake, and so many more. That is just one of the many great things about being an oilfield family.
IT'S NOT ALL BAD
I just mentioned one of the great things about the oilfield life. There are so many wonderful opportunities that are presented because of the constant travel. It may not seem like the best job in the world, however, it has its benefits.
Benefits of the Oilfield Life
- Travel: I have already said it, but the travel is an amazing job perk. It makes the job seem less of a chore most of the time.
- Wages: I know that this is one that a lot of people question. Depending on the company, you get paid fairly well. Never minimum wage unless you are doing office work. It is how my husband and I got our house just recently.
- Insurance: My husband and I have personally been positively affected with this aspect. We got to use our insurance to get the best doctor and NICU team when our daughter was born. The story for that will be linked at the end of this article.
What it Takes
Being an oilfield wife or husband can be challenging yet rewarding. It takes a lot of patience and communication. It may be difficult to talk everyday if your SO is away for a long time, but it is very important to make time for each other. Even if it is just a few minutes each night or here and there all day. Not getting to see each other will get lonely after a while, you need to make sure that you have a support system around you of family, friends, and even other oilfield wives and husbands. Keeping yourself busy and occupied makes time go faster and seem less lonely. You can make it through it with the support of those around you. I will link a few groups or blogs that may help.
© 2017 Carissa Kumiko Bradley