Old Lovey-Dovey Couples

I am from Yemen, and i celebrated the Eid in Yemen

Wow, it is rare to find some one who doesn’t care about these stuff, you seem to be so rational person and you see things from different perspectives. Maybe this could guarantee you a happy life.

All what I wanted to say about the list thing is that we can’t totally depend on it.

Your words about rising your babies were very impressive and really really touched my heart, I hop you find that person who you can rely on and support you to reach your aims.

About the child’s story, I couldn’t understand it myself it is really a strange feeling, so it is natural that others can’t.

Maybe that feeling is not love, but here the thing I want people to know; I need that feeling so badly.

Here is my philosophy, in this life I can’t set on a cliff putting my hand on my check looking at the moon waiting for it to com down to me, I am one of the people who run and do all what can be done to reach it (the moon), it is right that when I jump I know that maybe I will not reach it

and maybe I will fall and break my leg, but what I am sure of that the moon will never get down to me

For me it is better to watch the moon with a broken leg in spite of watching it without trying to do anything

for this reason I always listen to my heart in many things

Wish you all the best, by the way happy Eid

both sides gets there intentions, some may not find anyone who could share the same admiration and desire for the pieces they chose, there are 2 choices for them, one is to take it alone(single sided love), two is to leave it alone and wait until another box arrives,

For me, I consider my self as an exception from this idea because I still want to share the chocolate with my baby girl =)

First of all, I want to say that I enjoyed reading both of your philosophies and I hope that you don’t mind expressing my personal opinion

First, Personally, I think that we should look at the list subject with a more simple way, in addition, try to look at the relationship itself in a more comprehensive way (I think it is more complicated than the list itself)

Whatever our experience and knowledge of what we want exactly was, it doesn’t guarantee to us that it would be beneficial to us because people change with time as well as our desires their selves change with time

I think it is difficult to find a valid long- term list, also, I see that the list could be a time constraint to find the right or convenient person, the relationship is more than just a list of characteristics matching

For example, for beauty if suppose that it changed with time does that mean that the person is no longer relevant to us, as well as for the money if we suppose that this person suffered a financial setback does this mean his exit from the list, and if we drive a person out of the list because of his poorness or lack of money who would guarantee to us that our life will be financially improved, the success of people could change there life in a mater of no time from bad to good, I have thousands of examples and things that are often found in the lists of men and women,

The reason for what I’ve said above, that I am sure that the reason for the existence of the list is assuring happiness and satisfaction of desires, it is obvious that any deviation from the existing conditions will cause a kind of frustration if it is not unhappiness,

In my personal opinion that to ensure a happy life is not the existence of a list of conditions, we must look at what behind the relationship itself,

I have a question and each person shall answer for himself. What guarantee a happy life? Is it Successful list ? Or successful relationship?

And yes I know that there is some kind of relationship between them, and yes I think that I have a magic solution to find some kind of balance between them which is the believe in advance that there is no person who doesn’t have any imperfections and we have the key to the solution, which is the ability to accept people as they are.

You said that you are afraid of living your life trying to change the person you love, I you tell you my opinion, calm down, you will not be able to change him If there is nothing pushes him to or maybe because he has a list of conditions that are not negotiable. For example, I would like to ask a question for you personally, when would you feel happy??, when your husband gives you a bouquet of beautiful roses for your birthday spontaneously all by himself ?? Or when he gives it to you because of your warnings to him of forgetting this date??

Why We do not also change ourselves first, and just think of this, basic acceptance of people produces a feeling in them pushing them to change to better

In my personal opinion there are many things behind relationships

There are seven basic elements for relationships

First and most important is love, second is sacrifice, third is understands, Fourth is tolerance, fifth is patience, sixth is respect, and the seventh is Satisfaction.

For the first element, I should mention that it relates and reacts with the other elements in a great and very very very strange way, Love may come first and then the rest of the elements exist, or vice versa, so that they bring this love to life

I’m sorry if my comment is long>>>here comes the rest =)

I will tell you a story that might be curious and imaginative, I hope that you enjoy reading it and understand why I am sharing it with you

One day, in the life of a young male child of not exceeding eight years old, he saw a same age female child not at the beach or in the middle of flowers garden, he saw her in simple place and without arranging anything

Just imagine the situation when he is like nailed in his place (you maybe find it odd, but it is a real story) and put his hands behind his back watching the girl who is standing far from him. I hope you could see that eye and that look which is mixed with some amazement and smiling to her, and I wish you could see that charming smile, that deep eyes tells millions of things, pureness covers all her face, hope you see him moving slowly hearing that tender voice as little angels

No word can describe these girl’s playing moments,

And indeed, at that moment he felt a strange feeling getting into his deepness, he felt being born again, there is unnatural thing grow her love in his little heart, and imagine with me from that moment, his childhood was over

Yow know why?? Because he become different from other kids and began to think in a different way that other kids may not think of, other kids like to play, cheer and have fun, he just set away alone thinking of her,, believe it?!!

Other kids think of there dolls and toys, and he thinks of his life with her, how will they be and what will they name there kids…. (Imagine that??!!), and of course every day his thoughts and dreams changes but still around a child girl

What strangeness, a little boy all his dream is a little girl!!!!

I leave the details to an other time, what I want to say that he wanted her but, she refused (maybe because he wasn’t a candidate of her list conditions), actually that is not a sad end, but what I want also to say is that he loved her vey much and without any list or conditions, every thing was only a sweet pure smile and a charming eyes toke the steering of his mind.

Believe it or not, the important thing is not that he met her or that it is a single sided love, the more important is that rare strange feeling that has a strange pleasure that fells all his soul and senses and his feeling of eternal happiness, I don’t want to deny that feeling which also sometime makes you feel happy and sad that rare of people feel it, I will tell you the funny thing, which is that his total welling and preparing to fight to preserve this feeling with its happiness and sadness ( I think that is a strange pleasure, isn’t it???) Not every pain hurts =) . ! _ and yes, people now see that charming absent-minded girl while he still don't see anything but a little girl _

So I am sure that kid feels- no matter how life went with him-a big amount of happiness living without any arranging, plans or list

And I am also sure that if you look at the pair of doves in the second picture above, you will find in the eyes of the little kid (yes the little kid not the white haired man) the amount of love that he own for his little girl as well as the amount of her happiness to his acceptance of her as she is, at that picture you can find the most wonderful romance up on earth, and I am sure that they don’t know any thing about any type of lists

Also, de_greak said that “I am married to the prettiest, kindest, tenderest woman on this plant”

As you see three things made this man happy, I congratulate him for that.

Sorry again for my long comment, but the last thing I want to say is( for those who dream of finding the suitable person for them)

I don’t imagine my self having a paper and a pin and ticking right and wrong signals in front of the characteristics and conditions that exists on the person I want, actually when I was laying on bed last night I got an idea which is

Imagine that there is a chocolate box and every piece of chocolate indicates happiness, stability, safety, love and other pure senses, but in different flavors and colors, imagine also that there are a group of people, every one is waiting for his share in this life

As I think that every one will focus on a particular flavor and color, here comes the beginning, every one should focus on a particular piece from the box and reach his hand to it, second, every on should focus on that hand that shred the same admire and desire to the same piece, here comes the second step, both of them should touch the piece with a transparent, honesty and smiley touch then raise it together, uncovering it with a romantic moves, and the last step is sharing and dividing this piece equally

Therefore,

I am glad you enjoy my philosphoy!

I just got caught off by you mentioning the common values and beliefs. I totally agree that this will make arranging things easier, but here is my philosophy when it comes to character acceptance from both sides. It is one tricky business :). If you want something in someone that does not mean you are going to like it! This is especially true when this "want" is not backed up by experience [There are things in life you can't figure them out unless you try them]. How this "want" is formed is very critical to whether or not you are going to like it when you have it. So what ends up happening is that people will form this "want" based on what they think is good for them [This is like someone choosing a major in university because it is going to get them a job. Now they base their want on something good that will happen. But once they have it, once they are in that job, they may not like it!]. I am not saying it does not always work to form a want this way but there are things in life that this "want-forming" style does not work.

Almost every guy or a girl has a list of the things they want in their significant other. The problem appears when what's on the list is not backed up by experience and people become so orthodox about it, and in their heads they think they are right.

How to validate the list?!

Obviously experience is your best bet. It can be done through dating but I think it is typically in the later stages of it as people try to "make-nice" in the beginning :). I know not all countries are into dating so people can monitor themselves in terms of whom (friends I guess is a good example)they chose to be around and question why they would like to spend time with this person and not the other, etc. But then like you said, values and beliefs will come in very handy to avoid/work on such character acceptance issues once the couple is deep in their relationship. =)

Hey, from an Arabic traditional point of view: the mother should be sakan for her husband and a school for her kids!

I like the names in your title =) I assume Lovey is the lady and Dovey is the guy ;)

Anywho, from my experience there are three things from the women side that help eliminate a number of problems depending on their respective ranking (Husband, Kids and Career). Some women put career before men and this can be a source of problems. For me, the order is Kids, Husband and Career and my husband is aware of that. Believe or not, he is so happy that I put kids before him but at least he is not last :), think about your order and share if you like. It will be interesting if you agree and it will be more interesting if you disagree =) besta luck!

Nice observation on how life may be. Sad it doesn't always work out!

That top photo was absoulutely precious. That's what I picture my husband and I like in fifty years.

he said " I was surprised at how old I am getting without realising it " ,,, In my openion, the kind, mercifull, Tolerant and warm hearted women alone who realy can make the man forget every thing and she is alone who can make their long Years of life as a great happy seconds, i would like to add, I always say that Beauty and external apperance never last and should decay with time, but love and forgivness are like a child who always grows up and never gets old.

I enjoyedevery word you wrote and i would like to add that the best feeling ever is the feeling of love from childhood which grows up with you but never gets old, which personaly i would like to grow with this way ,,,

How awsome I loved it. Good job.

I am well on my way to being part of an old lovey- dovey couple. Yes, happy marriages do exist. i have been married for 43 years and I am still crazy in love.

love the way you put your words, and yes indeed it is rare to find couples that last together for a lifetime.

Thanks for sharing , and i want 2 say that de greek is a lucky man , good luck for him ,