Old Lovey-Dovey Couples
The summer is here. Sure enough, it’s at this season where sweet couples appear pervasively before your eyes, the way garlic’s odor pervades across Italian kitchens. New romances are ignited everywhere, every Facebook notification is a change in a relationship status, and every lane is a lover’s lane.
If you are lucky enough, you have no lingering relationship to hang onto, no devastating break ups to dwell upon.
And hopefully you are not like one of my dearest friends, who believes that Mr. Cupid has taken all the attractive charming worth dating individuals and made sure they were overseas, married, in love, forbidden or gay. Though Cupid has been mocking her lonely status, he sure deserves to be praised for a couple of worth admiring relation ships.
The Bus Trip
Don’t know if it is just me but I can’t help but adore his work, Cupid that is, each time I see a couple enjoying romantic intimate gestures. But not any couple, and not any gestures for only old couples with wrinkled holding hands and squinting loving eyes grab my attention.
The other day, I was holding a dozen shopping bags in one hand -in my defense, 50 % were gifts-, the backpack loosely hanging over one shoulder and the cell phone tightly held between my ear and the other shoulder; All while attempting to catch the shuttle bus. I was defending my 'single' status over the phone when I couldn’t help but notice the most handsome man on earth. I wasn’t certain of his age but the white color covering his few survived hairs and the wrinkles surrounding his eyes gave the impression of at least seven decades. This 70ish year old man was helping his wife who didn’t look much younger to get on the bus.
I made sure I sat in front of them to entertain my ride. Every now and then, he would smile semi-toothlessly at every one in the shuttle. But you could tell from the laugh lines around his deep blue eyes that his eyes just lit up when he smiled at her. He kissed her hands each time she would lie her head over his shoulder.
Of course, being the chatterbox that I am, I had to describe the scene to my friend over the phone. After all, what are the odds of this couple speaking Arabic and with the hearing aids they both had, the chances of them comprehending my gossip were even slimmer.
For the entire ride, I was a dedicated radio host. Starting with her earrings and right down to her shoes, I described how sophisticated the old lady was in her dressing style. Didn’t leave a slight detail, even the background was captured in the analysis. After going on about how gorgeous she is, how warm his smile was, how I would totally give up my freedom for a guy who would age this way and behave romantically like him, I started playing the analyst role.
The Analyst Role
The rings they both wore had an ancient feel, almost rusted so they must have been married for a while. I don’t know for how long did the analysis last, but when both my ears started to burn, I had to somehow end the conversation. I realized how loud and irritating I must have been, when I turned off the phone for the bus just got 10 times quitter. I sat there admiring their grins when out of nowhere the hero I have been admiring for the entire ride asked me “How is your day, child?” ending the question with the cutest wink I have ever seen.
My mouth remained half open for quite some time as I tried to digest the pure Arabic words. And he must have had the the best hearing aids for I said “Fine” in the quietest most quavering voice and he heard it. He replied "I am sure it is better than just fine", and winked again. “How is your day?” was all I could say to prevent myself from saying “I have been a fan of you ever since we rode this bus”.
I pictured he would give a similar short brief reply and decided to totally block my ears. I couldn't help but picture myself as Little Miss Chatterbox burying her embarrassed red cheeks the way ostrichs bury their heads under the sand. His reply wasn’t as brief and the most engaging and enthusiastic conversation took place for the rest of the ride. I can’t say I learned my lesson for this wasn’t the first or last time for my confident Arabic mouth to embarrass me.
I try biting my tongue a lot to prevent myself from blurting such conversations but it always escapes with the argument that Arabic and Yemeni of all accents is the most foreign language you can find in a western place. Needless to say, this was indeed one the most fun bus rides I have ever had.
Romance on HubPages
Once again I would like to praise Cupid for his great tangible efforts on HubPages. I don't want to freak any of my fellow hubbers but it takes a lot for me to be genuinely impressed with corny romantic efforts. However, over the past 2 months and from my hub hoping experience, I have reached the conclusion that dead men like my favourites Robert Frost and Pushkin as well as my fellow male hubbers have been given romantic talent beyond description.
Featured Couples
I embarrassed myself in front of the old couple and I might as well just do it today in front of all the romantic fellow hubbers by telling them how impressed I am.
De Greek :
I have been mesmerized by De Greek's sense of humour, graceful ability to string words queerly, but most of all, how romantic he is with his wife, check his article Getting Old Gracefully?.
And for all the guys who are just sick of platonic relationships and wish they weren't so platonic you can check his Advice to Youth. But his winning action that granted him to be on the featured couples is his profile line that says and I am quoting " I am married to the pretiest, kindest, tenderest woman on this planet". Now, isn't that cute ?
Mystique1957 :
First of all, I would like to say that I am deeply saddened to know about Mystique's grandma passing away. Being the caring person that he is, he has changed his profile to let us all know that he will be away for a few days.
Second, I would like to spread some pleasure to my fellow hubbers if they are not already familiar with this great poet. Reading his lyrical poetry has became a ritual over the past month. His poems are almost always dedicated to his angel Rebecca. You can check his poems The Joy of being with you - Dedicated to my angel Rebecca - A poem and Love Poetry (for my Moonshine angel- Rebecca Anne). While you are there, check his art work.
I am sure, there are a lot of great hubbers out there with great poems and even greater relation ships but I guess I have done enough stalking for one day. =)
Comments
I am from Yemen, and i celebrated the Eid in Yemen
Wow, it is rare to find some one who doesn’t care about these stuff, you seem to be so rational person and you see things from different perspectives. Maybe this could guarantee you a happy life.
All what I wanted to say about the list thing is that we can’t totally depend on it.
Your words about rising your babies were very impressive and really really touched my heart, I hop you find that person who you can rely on and support you to reach your aims.
About the child’s story, I couldn’t understand it myself it is really a strange feeling, so it is natural that others can’t.
Maybe that feeling is not love, but here the thing I want people to know; I need that feeling so badly.
Here is my philosophy, in this life I can’t set on a cliff putting my hand on my check looking at the moon waiting for it to com down to me, I am one of the people who run and do all what can be done to reach it (the moon), it is right that when I jump I know that maybe I will not reach it
and maybe I will fall and break my leg, but what I am sure of that the moon will never get down to me
For me it is better to watch the moon with a broken leg in spite of watching it without trying to do anything
for this reason I always listen to my heart in many things
Wish you all the best, by the way happy Eid
both sides gets there intentions, some may not find anyone who could share the same admiration and desire for the pieces they chose, there are 2 choices for them, one is to take it alone(single sided love), two is to leave it alone and wait until another box arrives,
For me, I consider my self as an exception from this idea because I still want to share the chocolate with my baby girl =)
First of all, I want to say that I enjoyed reading both of your philosophies and I hope that you don’t mind expressing my personal opinion
First, Personally, I think that we should look at the list subject with a more simple way, in addition, try to look at the relationship itself in a more comprehensive way (I think it is more complicated than the list itself)
Whatever our experience and knowledge of what we want exactly was, it doesn’t guarantee to us that it would be beneficial to us because people change with time as well as our desires their selves change with time
I think it is difficult to find a valid long- term list, also, I see that the list could be a time constraint to find the right or convenient person, the relationship is more than just a list of characteristics matching
For example, for beauty if suppose that it changed with time does that mean that the person is no longer relevant to us, as well as for the money if we suppose that this person suffered a financial setback does this mean his exit from the list, and if we drive a person out of the list because of his poorness or lack of money who would guarantee to us that our life will be financially improved, the success of people could change there life in a mater of no time from bad to good, I have thousands of examples and things that are often found in the lists of men and women,
The reason for what I’ve said above, that I am sure that the reason for the existence of the list is assuring happiness and satisfaction of desires, it is obvious that any deviation from the existing conditions will cause a kind of frustration if it is not unhappiness,
In my personal opinion that to ensure a happy life is not the existence of a list of conditions, we must look at what behind the relationship itself,
I have a question and each person shall answer for himself. What guarantee a happy life? Is it Successful list ? Or successful relationship?
And yes I know that there is some kind of relationship between them, and yes I think that I have a magic solution to find some kind of balance between them which is the believe in advance that there is no person who doesn’t have any imperfections and we have the key to the solution, which is the ability to accept people as they are.
You said that you are afraid of living your life trying to change the person you love, I you tell you my opinion, calm down, you will not be able to change him If there is nothing pushes him to or maybe because he has a list of conditions that are not negotiable. For example, I would like to ask a question for you personally, when would you feel happy??, when your husband gives you a bouquet of beautiful roses for your birthday spontaneously all by himself ?? Or when he gives it to you because of your warnings to him of forgetting this date??
Why We do not also change ourselves first, and just think of this, basic acceptance of people produces a feeling in them pushing them to change to better
In my personal opinion there are many things behind relationships
There are seven basic elements for relationships
First and most important is love, second is sacrifice, third is understands, Fourth is tolerance, fifth is patience, sixth is respect, and the seventh is Satisfaction.
For the first element, I should mention that it relates and reacts with the other elements in a great and very very very strange way, Love may come first and then the rest of the elements exist, or vice versa, so that they bring this love to life
I’m sorry if my comment is long>>>here comes the rest =)
I will tell you a story that might be curious and imaginative, I hope that you enjoy reading it and understand why I am sharing it with you
One day, in the life of a young male child of not exceeding eight years old, he saw a same age female child not at the beach or in the middle of flowers garden, he saw her in simple place and without arranging anything
Just imagine the situation when he is like nailed in his place (you maybe find it odd, but it is a real story) and put his hands behind his back watching the girl who is standing far from him. I hope you could see that eye and that look which is mixed with some amazement and smiling to her, and I wish you could see that charming smile, that deep eyes tells millions of things, pureness covers all her face, hope you see him moving slowly hearing that tender voice as little angels
No word can describe these girl’s playing moments,
And indeed, at that moment he felt a strange feeling getting into his deepness, he felt being born again, there is unnatural thing grow her love in his little heart, and imagine with me from that moment, his childhood was over
Yow know why?? Because he become different from other kids and began to think in a different way that other kids may not think of, other kids like to play, cheer and have fun, he just set away alone thinking of her,, believe it?!!
Other kids think of there dolls and toys, and he thinks of his life with her, how will they be and what will they name there kids…. (Imagine that??!!), and of course every day his thoughts and dreams changes but still around a child girl
What strangeness, a little boy all his dream is a little girl!!!!
I leave the details to an other time, what I want to say that he wanted her but, she refused (maybe because he wasn’t a candidate of her list conditions), actually that is not a sad end, but what I want also to say is that he loved her vey much and without any list or conditions, every thing was only a sweet pure smile and a charming eyes toke the steering of his mind.
Believe it or not, the important thing is not that he met her or that it is a single sided love, the more important is that rare strange feeling that has a strange pleasure that fells all his soul and senses and his feeling of eternal happiness, I don’t want to deny that feeling which also sometime makes you feel happy and sad that rare of people feel it, I will tell you the funny thing, which is that his total welling and preparing to fight to preserve this feeling with its happiness and sadness ( I think that is a strange pleasure, isn’t it???) Not every pain hurts =) . ! _ and yes, people now see that charming absent-minded girl while he still don't see anything but a little girl _
So I am sure that kid feels- no matter how life went with him-a big amount of happiness living without any arranging, plans or list
And I am also sure that if you look at the pair of doves in the second picture above, you will find in the eyes of the little kid (yes the little kid not the white haired man) the amount of love that he own for his little girl as well as the amount of her happiness to his acceptance of her as she is, at that picture you can find the most wonderful romance up on earth, and I am sure that they don’t know any thing about any type of lists
Also, de_greak said that “I am married to the prettiest, kindest, tenderest woman on this plant”
As you see three things made this man happy, I congratulate him for that.
Sorry again for my long comment, but the last thing I want to say is( for those who dream of finding the suitable person for them)
I don’t imagine my self having a paper and a pin and ticking right and wrong signals in front of the characteristics and conditions that exists on the person I want, actually when I was laying on bed last night I got an idea which is
Imagine that there is a chocolate box and every piece of chocolate indicates happiness, stability, safety, love and other pure senses, but in different flavors and colors, imagine also that there are a group of people, every one is waiting for his share in this life
As I think that every one will focus on a particular flavor and color, here comes the beginning, every one should focus on a particular piece from the box and reach his hand to it, second, every on should focus on that hand that shred the same admire and desire to the same piece, here comes the second step, both of them should touch the piece with a transparent, honesty and smiley touch then raise it together, uncovering it with a romantic moves, and the last step is sharing and dividing this piece equally
Therefore,
I am glad you enjoy my philosphoy!
I just got caught off by you mentioning the common values and beliefs. I totally agree that this will make arranging things easier, but here is my philosophy when it comes to character acceptance from both sides. It is one tricky business :). If you want something in someone that does not mean you are going to like it! This is especially true when this "want" is not backed up by experience [There are things in life you can't figure them out unless you try them]. How this "want" is formed is very critical to whether or not you are going to like it when you have it. So what ends up happening is that people will form this "want" based on what they think is good for them [This is like someone choosing a major in university because it is going to get them a job. Now they base their want on something good that will happen. But once they have it, once they are in that job, they may not like it!]. I am not saying it does not always work to form a want this way but there are things in life that this "want-forming" style does not work.
Almost every guy or a girl has a list of the things they want in their significant other. The problem appears when what's on the list is not backed up by experience and people become so orthodox about it, and in their heads they think they are right.
How to validate the list?!
Obviously experience is your best bet. It can be done through dating but I think it is typically in the later stages of it as people try to "make-nice" in the beginning :). I know not all countries are into dating so people can monitor themselves in terms of whom (friends I guess is a good example)they chose to be around and question why they would like to spend time with this person and not the other, etc. But then like you said, values and beliefs will come in very handy to avoid/work on such character acceptance issues once the couple is deep in their relationship. =)
Hey, from an Arabic traditional point of view: the mother should be sakan for her husband and a school for her kids!
I like the names in your title =) I assume Lovey is the lady and Dovey is the guy ;)
Anywho, from my experience there are three things from the women side that help eliminate a number of problems depending on their respective ranking (Husband, Kids and Career). Some women put career before men and this can be a source of problems. For me, the order is Kids, Husband and Career and my husband is aware of that. Believe or not, he is so happy that I put kids before him but at least he is not last :), think about your order and share if you like. It will be interesting if you agree and it will be more interesting if you disagree =) besta luck!
Nice observation on how life may be. Sad it doesn't always work out!
That top photo was absoulutely precious. That's what I picture my husband and I like in fifty years.
he said " I was surprised at how old I am getting without realising it " ,,, In my openion, the kind, mercifull, Tolerant and warm hearted women alone who realy can make the man forget every thing and she is alone who can make their long Years of life as a great happy seconds, i would like to add, I always say that Beauty and external apperance never last and should decay with time, but love and forgivness are like a child who always grows up and never gets old.
I enjoyedevery word you wrote and i would like to add that the best feeling ever is the feeling of love from childhood which grows up with you but never gets old, which personaly i would like to grow with this way ,,,
How awsome I loved it. Good job.
I am well on my way to being part of an old lovey- dovey couple. Yes, happy marriages do exist. i have been married for 43 years and I am still crazy in love.
love the way you put your words, and yes indeed it is rare to find couples that last together for a lifetime.
Thanks for sharing , and i want 2 say that de greek is a lucky man , good luck for him ,
I share your sentiments about De Greek and I do not know Mystique but will check him out later.
More important, I share your sentiments about old couples. Indeed it is rare to see these days. This is the one thing I have seen with my parents and it is both good and bad. Good because one is aware that it can and does happen, bad in the sense that it is very rare nowadays. And oh yes, the most romantic movie in my eyes? On Golden Pond.
Thank you for sharing.
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