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Older Man and Younger Woman

Updated on April 01, 2014

Older Men and Younger Women

What could possibly be wrong with Older Men and Younger Women dating or entering into a relationship? There is not a problem with the people concerned, so why should it bother anyone else?

It does though. So often the man is often referred to as a "pervert", a "dirty old man" or a "trophy hunter" and the woman as a "gold digger" or "manipulative and exploitative".

It would seem that the majority of people have their own idea of what they believe is 'too old' and so is, to them, not acceptable. If such people are not part of the relationship then why should it concern them at all? If a couple are comfortable together then surely the age gap is irrelevant. In different cultures around the world age gaps are more or less acceptable. It is in the West that the geatest 'hang up' hangs.

People of all ages are attracted to each other and 'falling in love' is not exclusively the realm of the young.

Today relationships between Older Woman and a Younger Man are becoming much more common.

 

Old Man

Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chez_worldwide/4548552760/
Photo by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/chez_worldwide/4548552760/

Old Men and Young Women

In April 2010 a baby boy was born to the partner of Raymond Calvert. Raymond is a 79 year old British pensioner. His partner is 25 year old Charlotte. The age is difference is 54 years. Should anyone have a problem with that? They love and care for each other. All people have to do is accept!

Recently the 41 year old wife of 74 year old Gerry Burks gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The age gap there is just 33 years. Does that make it easier to accept?

People seem much more inclined to accept an age gap when the people involved are rich and famous. There is a list of these in The Much Maligned Sex Tourist. Why this should be more acceptable is a bit of a mystery.

Dirty Old Man

It Is Not Just About Babies And Marriage

There are those who say that age gap relationships will not work because the couples interests are too different. Shared interests between couples are important but it does not mean that all interests should be shared. In fact there is a lot to be said about having hobbies and pastimes that are not in common.

Marriages and relationships fail every day regardless of age gaps and interests. People fall in love again. It has been said that "youth is wasted on the young" and sometimes that is true.

The older man brings with him experience, staying power, tolerance, affection and understanding. Younger women have beauty and youthful vibes. Such relationships work as well as or better thany many.

Age is not just about firm or flabby bodies, wrinkled or smooth skin. Age is personalities and experience too. Laughter and loyalties are common to all. There is always shared ground to be found. Steady ground, a foundation on which to build.

Gold Digger

A Personal Perspective

Everyone is different. We should accept and not condemn as long as no laws are being broken and nobody is being hurt.

Old or young any bit of help you can get to get back into the dating game can only be a good thing.

 

Comments

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  • Hello, hello, profile image

    Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

    I don't always agree with it, especially with such great difference. At the same time, I wouldn't discriminate tehm. As you say everyone is different. If they agree with each other, it is fine by me. What is right and what is wrong? Nobody knows.

  • dealrocker profile image

    dealrocker 6 years ago from California

    I agree with some of the points and but not all. Well, it was a great effort. Liked your other hubs too. Joining your fanclub and would like to invite you to join mine. :)

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    Hello, hello - as you say, everyone is different. Love solves so many problems.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    dealrocker - thank you for reading. I would find it very difficult to condemn or be critical of anyone in love as long as they were breaking no laws.

  • Lee B profile image

    Lee Barton 6 years ago from New Mexico

    As a society, we've got to stop paying so much attention to messages from the media, particularly advertising, that tells us that love is only for the young. If an adult finds another adult to love and is loved in return, they're both lucky and the rest is none of our business!

  • Granny's House profile image

    Granny's House 6 years ago from Older and Hopefully Wiser Time

    Great hub. Thanks

  • billyaustindillon profile image

    billyaustindillon 6 years ago

    Very interesting - I guess it depends on the age difference. I am a bit older than my wife and she definitely keeps my mind fresh and gives a much needed perspective on life.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    Lee B - We agree 100%. Thanks for commenting.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    Granny's House - Thank you for reading and commenting.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    billyaustindillon - Your comment is appreciated and interesting. How wide an age difference is acceptable to you? Then what if the man was 60 but looked 40? The wife being 25....it gets complicated. If he were 80 and she were 20 and in love? Complex!

  • profile image

    dreamreachout 6 years ago

    It is best left to the individuals!! Who are we to judge what someone else decides as the best!! The sublime feeling is the biggest ask in a relationship and before that age or whatever else just fades away!! Thanks so much for highlighting this aspect of life!! Cheers!!

  • profile image

    Professional87 6 years ago

    When I first heard abt the marriage of 74 yr old with a 25 year young person, I found it weird and little odd, bt when I saw my Granny who is 20 year older than my Grand pa I found that love in the air and age difference doesn't really matter as long as you love and understand each other. Overall I agree with you.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    dreamreachout - thank you. It really is personal choice. We should not choose our partners to make others approve. Go with your heart.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    Professional87 - You are right. Love counts for more than the judgement of others.

  • jill of alltrades profile image

    jill of alltrades 6 years ago from Philippines

    Actually, I think "older man-younger woman" is more common than "older woman-younger man" marriages. Whatever or whichever way, I don't see anything wrong with this kind of arrangement except when the younger one is just a teenager. In this latter case, the teenager may not be mature enough to understand the whole relationship. Most likely it is just infatuation on the part of the teenager.

    Thanks for this insightful hub Peter!

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    jill of alltrades - I agree with you. There definitely is a 'too young'....but one wonders if there is ever a too old?

  • sarmack profile image

    Sarah 6 years ago from Washington

    Only in retrospect will you know if it was a good decision.

  • billyaustindillon profile image

    billyaustindillon 6 years ago

    Peter for myself I don't really think there is a magic number - you are as old as you feel I think.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    sarmack - I think this is true of everything we do in life.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    billyaustindillon - so very true. Thanks for reading.

  • Seakay profile image

    Seakay 6 years ago from Florida

    At my last High School Reunion (36 years), a classmate showed up with her 28 year old date. I thought it was great. I just said, "Good for her!" However, it turns out he took off shortly thereafter. I think a much younger woman with a much older man is fine. However, I don't believe most think the opposite is true.

  • Peter Dickinson profile image
    Author

    Peter Dickinson 6 years ago from South East Asia

    I wonder if your classmate rented him just to turn heads? Whatever, I like you see nothing wrong in it. I daresay what people think and what they say are often different on many subjects. As it becomes more common, and it is, more will accept. Thanks for reading.

  • Levertis Steele profile image

    Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

    Peter, if your 19-year old daughter announced to you and her mother that she is secretly dating an older man (56-years old) and wants to marry him, would you welcome him to the family and start planning the wedding?

    I would not want my sons or daughters to marry anyone with a generation of age difference. If they are adults and are determined, what can I do but accept it?

  • Levertis Steele profile image

    Levertis Steele 3 years ago from Southern Clime

    In the case of the 79 year old and the 25-year old "partners," I assume that they are not married. I wonder why. She will likely be a grieving partner soon. He will probably not be around to help raise his child. She may be a single mom soon. The father may not be able to do many things with the child due to his old age, and that won't likely improve. He may not have the patience or energy to handle a baby on a daily basis and later a growing boy. The boy's grandfather is probably younger than his father. He may get teased. The young female will likely cheat on the older guy if he becomes disabled. There are too many disadvantages, and i have observed them in such couples. The child will lose the most. He may end up helping to take care of his aging dad rather than dad taking care of him.

    You wrote, "People seem much more inclined to accept an age gap when the people involved are rich and famous. There is a list of these in The Much Maligned Sex Tourist. Why this should be more acceptable is a bit of a mystery."

    The rich and famous can afford cooks, butlers, maids, nurses, sitters, chauffeurs, or any other help needed if the elderly person's health declines. A sudden responsibility of caring for the elderly could be overwhelming to a young person who may not be able to afford hired help. She may later feel trapped with an inactive man.

    I have read about many rich and famous couples who had huge age differences, but married and divorced. The rich and famous would not be good examples of how marriages work at any ages. They have a history of marrying, exchanging spouses, divorcing, and marrying as often as they can get the licenses.

    If these couple withhuge age differences are happy, so am I. I would never interfere with their choice to be together or married. If they are not committing adultery, they certainly are not doing anything wrong and have a right to a union.

    My opinions are not about judging the wrong and right of their relationships. It is about the many disadvantages, especially when children are involved. If I had married a man much older than I, I would not have cared what anyone thought, but I would have known that others had opinions contrary to mine. I accepted the couples I knew, but I had some concerns.

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