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Older woman younger man relationships

Updated on May 8, 2016

The older woman-younger man phenomenon is by no means a new one - although it’s definitely more common than it used to be. In some cultures it is considered taboo, and in others it is highly regarded. It’s safe to say this topic hasn’t gone without its fair share of conversation.

There is debate as to why this specific kind of relationship is so intriguing to the parties involved, and not one answer is more credible than the next. In order to gain some kind of mental grasp over this dynamic, it’s important to consider a few things first.

Reasons for the surge in popularity

without mentioning the rise of the phenomenon known as the ‘cougar’. This has undeniably contributed to the rise in frequency of the younger man-older woman dynamic. If it isn't a causation, then it’s certainly still an indicator that the relationship style is more popular than it used to be.

Another explainer could simply be the fact that in a modern world, people have more freedom to truly choose who they want to be with. Before the arrival of the modern era, men and women were usually pushed together into a relationship, without much say from either side. The ages were more often than not an older man to a younger woman, or two people of similar ages. It was extremely uncommon for the woman to be substantially older than the man.

This change in public perception obviously played its role in the rise in popularity of this phenomenon. Despite this, it’s imperative that both sides of the relationship contribute their reasons and persuading factors to the discussion, before the book is completely closed.

The woman’s side

An older woman might find it more appealing to have a younger man as their partner not only for the younger looks, but for more practical reasons also. The younger man may not have a career that taxes most of their time, and thus has more time to spend with their partner. An older woman might feel more attracted to the fact that their partner isn't strangled by commitments, and is able to do things spontaneously.

A younger man also hasn't had the time to experience extensive relationship heartache. This means the chains of bad memories won’t be there, and they’ll be more optimistic about dedicating time into a relationship.

The younger, spunkier attitude of the man may make the woman feel younger and more vibrant. Being around young, fresh, full of life demeanors can rub off onto you if you’re open to the idea. This can be incredibly exhilarating, especially to a woman who’s used to cynical, boring old men. The sense of being alive that’s felt when an older woman is around an energetic, fun, and optimistic young man, is certainly a driving factor in the matter.

The man’s side

Even though the ‘cougar’ phenomenon may very well make older woman more attractive to younger men, a relationship needs more than a mere gimmick to make it stick.

A younger man may be impressed or intrigued by the accomplishments of the older woman, how she carries herself, and her maturity. This can be especially appealing to a man who is used to dealing with immature young ladies who don’t seem terribly grounded or level-headed most of the time.

An older woman is more experienced in nearly all walks of life. As such, a young man might feel as though they are getting more out of the relationship than they otherwise would with a person their age.

The bottom line

The relationship might come to an untimely end because of the age-gap proving to be too much of a separating factor. The younger man might want children, but the older woman might feel like that time has passed for them. Perhaps the lack of a need to remain put in the younger man might prove to become too much for the woman, as they aren't as able to make as many spontaneous and drastic life decisions.

All of these things give way to the possibility that the relationship may abruptly end. And yet, all of these things may prove to be necessary obstacles to make the relationship grow stronger.

Whatever the reasoning behind the relationship dynamic, it is important to realize that it’s two people mutually coming together to share a close bond — there’s really no harm in that.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 20 months ago

      I also believe there are other factors as well.

      The older woman is less insecure and more confident in who she is.

      She has usually been married and divorced which has caused her to let go of the "fairytale happily ever ending" and just enjoy life as it unfolds without the anxiety of wondering "where this is going" each time she dates a new man.

      Most likely {she enjoys sex} and doesn't view it as some bargaining chip to motivate a man into behaving as she wishes or solicit a commitment.

      She also does not confuse sex with love.

      Another thing she might enjoy is the stamina of younger man both in and out of the bedroom when compared to men of her own age.

      Last but not least being open to dating younger men gives an older woman more options when men her own age pursue younger women.

      As for being the younger man it's refreshing for them to be with a woman who is independent and has no "secret agenda".

      When it comes to sex she most likely will be able to teach him how to become a better lover. She's likely to have more skills when it comes to cooking as well as other worldly experiences that make her far more interesting then women his own age. Most likely she won't be pressuring him to marry her. Nor does she have concerns about her "biological clock" ticking.

      Dating older women also gives younger guys another option when women their own age lack interest in them. The older woman is usually not looking for a "provider" or a marriage proposal.

      She wants to enjoy her newfound freedom and live in "the now"!

      Last but not least the older women of today bend over backwards to keep up their youthful appearance. Many women in their 40s and 50s have bodies just as sexy as their counterparts in their 20s and 30s without the "attitude" or need for being the "center of attention"

      Yes, most older women /younger men relationships don't end in marriage. However the reality is most relationships period don't end with marriage and in the U.S. for those that do there's a 50% divorce rate.