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Once You Go Yellow, You Will Mellow: Dating An Asian Man From A White Woman's Perspective
Why You Gotta Bring Race Into This?
Who here has heard the term once you go black you never go back? Personally I'm sick of this saying. Race should never be the basis of a working relationship. It's a nice twist, but everyone really is the same in the end. True, my title Once You Go Yellow, You Will Mellow is pretty racist. But I wrote it to get your attention! And here you are! This blog is about dating and dealing with an Asian man, but at the end of the night--- the very end, *wink*--- he's for better or worse a man. And like all men he loves his dog more than his girl at times.
Ladies If It Seems Like He Loves The Dog More Than He Loves You... He Does
Ladies if it seems like he loves the dog more than you.... Sorry but he does. For instance my boyfriend with his dog. Every night the first thing he does when he comes home and drops his pants at the door, he calls for the dog. Of course it is sweet. He rubs her belly and hugs her, and gives her kisses. What can I say he loves his dog. Me however, is a different greeting. Last night for instance:
Last night when my boyfriend came home, he greets the dog in his silly loving voice and loves on her. Then he steps into the doorway and yells at me, "Get out here! This ends now!" Now he was referring to an earlier incident that day that involved problems with unlocking the front gate of the house. So I went out and saw him cuddling with the dog. He looks up at me, with a kind of evil gleam and tells me to go out to learn once and for all how to unlock the gate.
When we get out there, he hands me the key after re-locking it, and tells me to turn the key counter-clockwise as he always does. I turn the key my counter-clockwise (which is evidently different from his) and he tells me to stop. Dumbfounded he tells me to turn it the other way, clockwise! The gate unlocks. He'd been telling me to turn it wrong for three weeks. As you can imagine that led to me yelling a stream of words still hanging in the air above Brooklyn even now. Of course he tried to give me hugs and kisses and I pushed him away still fuming. But when I told the dog to attack, she attacked with her tongue, and my boyfriend loved it.
"But She Wuvs You!"
"But she wuvs you!" Is the phrase most iterated by my boyfriend when it comes to the dog. This is simply not true. He just doesn't want me to kick her out of bed with us. Usually the dog worms her way up to in between us in the night or she takes my spot. Yet when she's in between us, my boyfriend spoons her. All night. At least three nights out of the week. He and I will hold hands while we sleep, but the dog is really still getting all of the lovin's.
Here's The Take Away
Alright to all who've been wondering; "What is the point of this blog?" Well, here it is:
Just because it seems like he loves the dog more than you, doesn't mean he doesn't care. Look all relationships have a beginning a middle and an end. And for the first time in my short series of relationships, he's the first guy who's been the one to take it slow. Ladies you're not gonna fall in love right away. If you do, something is wrong or you don't know what love really is. It's time consuming and patient. This is how I know despite his protests and belly achings, that my boyfriend cares about me;
1.) He waits until late at night for me to come home. He has an hour and a half commute and has to wake up at the crack of dawn just to get ready for work. And he has never complained about it, or used it as leverage.
2.) Despite being a troller all the time, if something he says genuinely upsets me, he makes it a point to have me talk to him about it, discuss our feelings, and go to bed happily next to each other.
3.) At the end of every fight he makes me hug him. Physical contact is important to every relationship.
Okay so he might love the dog more than you. However, it won't always stay that way. If it does, then I'm sorry to say, that is just not a relationship worth having. If you meet someone who values their pet above all else, and there's no change in the relationship, get out. Sometimes the change is gradual. My boyfriend and I have been dating about three months, and it's only just within my living with him I've noticed changes. Good changes.
So to wrap this long tale up, here's some advice I can give to women dating an Asian man who loves their pet more than you: Be patient for the change or get out.
While this particular blog was less about race and more about my boyfriend's love for his dog.... I don't know where I was going with that. Because his race doesn't always matter or have a huge defining role in our relationship. If anything it's the age... He's a cradle robber what can I say? But to anyone and everyone out there I will cover racial differences in the blogs to follow, I just felt like getting this off my chest first and foremost.
For Tomorrow's Blog
Tomorrow's blog will definitely pertain more towards the race of myself and my boyfriend and how that's effected our relationship. It's a slow start but I feel like getting the slow stuff out of the way first is a good means of getting to the good stuff. So remember ladies and even some of you gentlemen *wink*, if you don't want cream in your coffee anymore, once you go yellow you will mellow!