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One Shy Guys Approach to Hot Women; A Response for Wonderful1

Updated on February 17, 2013

Beautiful Woman

Image credit: devas / 123RF Stock Photo
Image credit: devas / 123RF Stock Photo

Hot or Not

I wrote this article in response to “wonderful1“ article called, “What does a girl need to be asked out?" First of all, it was a very interesting read, thanks for the experience. Now to my point. I to was (am) a shy guy. But I found it easy to talk to some hot women, while difficult to talk to other hot women. For a while, I had no clue why things seem to be this way. Then, with time, I started to slowly realize something. Some “hot” women, especially the ones I could approach, talk to, and ask out, made it easy for me to approach them. Maybe they sensed my shyness and adjusted their mannerism accordingly.

The other type of “hot” women seem to be the type of woman that was hot, and knew she was hot; and therefore expected ALL guys to approach them in a certain or specific way. Now for me, these women who knew they were hot, I found very difficult if not impossible to talk to. It was as if they carried a huge chip on their shoulder that said, “I’m hot, I know I’m hot, so you better know it too!” This type of displayed attitude is a turn off for me. That’s right, a shy guy is expressing why some “hot” women are turn-offs. I’m shy, not desperate.

In the Mix

Think of it like this. I can only speak for myself when I say this but, ... to me, a women’s beauty is a two part thing. The first part is her outward beauty. This is what attracts me to her in the first place. The cover of the book if you will. The second part is her inner beauty. This is her personality, the way she responds to and treats people. For me, she has to have the two parts in place and at a certain balance before I can try to talk to her.

It’s funny. I consider myself to be an average man, and yet I have had some women in my past who I thought were/is beautiful, tell me that I was not approachable because of how I looked. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is easy for you to get asked out by just about any guy, as long is you project yourself as a woman that is balanced.

Think about it. The next time a shy guy (or any guy) looks your way, you do not need to turn on the charm, because he has already picked up on that; your outward beauty. After all, he is looking at you. Now the question is, is your inner beauty attractive to him as well. Before you can answer that question, you need to understand your inner beauty as seen from a male perspective. Is your displayed inner beauty ... shyness, domineering, humorous, to hot for you fool, off putting, caring, ... I think you get the idea.

Understand this, and I think you will come a lot closer to answering your question, “What does a girl need to be asked out?" Mind you, ... this is just my (one man’s) opinion. Good luck.


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    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 

      5 years ago from Southern California

      Where's the "like" button on this? Thanks for the smiles!

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      I agree with you on all counts Breatheeasy3. There is a bit of flirting going on, but mostly honest truth. Thanks for your response.

    • Breatheeasy3 profile image


      5 years ago from USA

      I sense a bit of flirting in this This is a really good post though and on point in many ways. Women should understand the guys' perspective because it is more detailed, choreographed and calculated, where the women simply decides/chooses. That's a lot of pressure for anyone.

      Do think that the inner beauty thing is very very key too. I have been immediately turned off by a fine a** women once I sensed a nasty attitude. Even her physical appearance changed. That inner beauty is worth more in many cases.

    • floating mind profile imageAUTHOR

      floating mind 

      5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      I agree with you wonderful1. I guess some people do not know when to let the joke go and take things a little more seriously. That drink that I would have with you sound good. But do not get upset. As I'm told, things happen for a reason.

      Also, some guys are just flirts. And that's all you will ever get out of them.

    • wonderful1 profile image

      Sheila Varga Szabo 

      5 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks for that hub and insight-- you are soooo sweet! I assure you that I'm the type that welcomes everyone with a big smile and bear hug!

      With that said, just today I was pondering this question again. You see, the guy who was flirting with me at work and "joked" about asking me out on Valentine's Day-- turned out to just "joke." Do you know that "fake asking out" someone hurts as much as being stood up? Sh** or get off the pot is my motto. Don't joke about your intentions unless you mean it. The guy at my work is now toast in my eyes-- I see he's just enjoying the attention of his flirtations. That's a new concept I haven't encountered yet, but obviously, some of us just want some attention and have no intention of making emotional connections (or dating).

      If you were close by, I'd take you out for drinks. We'd make a toast by the firepit and laugh about all the crazy stuff in this thing called "dating." What do you say?


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