- Gender and Relationships
Online friends can save your life
The short and sweet of it
I know from experience, that your online friends can save your life, literally and figuratively. But the latter of the two, I have experienced.
After being in an abusive marriage for 12 1/2 years, I've done my share of research online. I've perused hundreds of sites, until all hours of the night, to figure out why my husband is the way he is. I did come to find that he is a sociopath, drug-addicted, narcissist. I don't say that to be funny. Trust me, it's not funny.
Being as my dear H possesses such wonderful attributes, I've been warned by him not to have any family or friends. "They're all out to get you. They're bad people who don't truly care about you". After hearing that nearly every day for several years, a person comes to believe these sinister words.
After several years of marriage and two small children (5 or 6 years ago), dear H finally decided to allow me one of my own hobbies, computers. His father gave it to us, but it was a nice HP. Shortly thereafter, H allowed me to get internet service hooked up.
Throughout the next few years, the people that I met online, changed my life forever. I entered Yahoo groups having to do with abuse, etc. These people were the kindest, most honest people I'd ever met. Some of the women had been through the same situations as I had, some were still in these situations but spineless due to the abuse itself. So sad. And some of the men had been through depression and PTSD, and were able to guide me in the right direction in healing myself.
But in speaking with all of these different men and women from different walks of life, I felt that I had friends. I finally had a person in my life that I could call a friend. Women, and a couple of men too, that cared about me and weren't contacting me for a date! H liked to use that one for an excuse when I would utter the word "online" to him. "You're only there to find a date, you're a slut." Oh well, I got over it. I know better.
So thank you to all of you men and women out there, who do give sound advice to others like me. We've all suffered in one way or another, it's so nice to see others sharing their experiences and treating each other with respect. Respect is such a taboo trait these days, it's hard to come by. As another hubber said recently, people are too introverted and scared to let themselves be vulnerable for too long, therefore others around them suffer. Does that make sense?
I've never believed in love happening online, until recently. Although I am married, but trying to get ex to sign divorce papers (for two years), I now believe in love online. I don't have a lover myself, but feel love for another man, online. Is that the cheesiest most red-neck thing you've ever heard? Does this truly happen? If true friendships can happen online, then so can romance.
I'm sending a big hug and a 'thank you' to everyone in cyberspace who will give a "stranger" the time of day when they need it:)
No need for comments but leave them if you wish:)