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Online Dating Tips for Women - Be Honest About Your Figure

Updated on June 9, 2007

In my last article, we discussed filling out the basic profile with regard to who we're looking for and where we'd like to find him. Today we're going to address the last few items covers in their basic profile section, starting with height.

1. How tall are you?

Sounds like a simple enough question, doesn't it? One would think it self-explanatory, but, sadly, it often isn't. Ladies, if you’re only 5’3 but really wish you weren’t, believe me when I say I empathize. At least we shortcakes can wear high heels, right? But wearing 5 inch heels to work does not a 5’8 woman make. So don’t lie about this one. Particularly since some men have serious height preferences. Just like women often do. So be honest. Whether you are short or tall, there are loads of men who like ‘em exactly your height, so no fibbing! It’s not like you can hide it from him, you know.

2. What’s your body type?

Sensitive question for some of us, but vital when you're trying to find a mate online. Let’s see the whole list of options as Match lists them: Slender, About Average, A Few Extra Pounds, Athletic and Toned, Heavyset, Stocky, Big and Beautiful, Curvy, Full-Figured. The problem I have with this list is that several of these sound like the same thing to me – and they also sound that way to most men.

I’ll be more specific. Heavyset, Big and Beautiful and Full-Figured all mean overweight in my book. And it will mean this to most men who read it. So if you’re 6’1 and calling yourself Big and Beautiful just because you’re tall – don’t. And if you’re 5’7, average build, but wear a 36 DDD – this does not make you Full Figured in my book. It makes you incredibly busty (and probably very popular!)

As far as I can tell, those 3 categories are just there to give larger women a choice in how they want to be referenced. Which is fine – but make sure you’re really in that category before you select it.

If you’re About Average, that means you’re not overweight but neither are you skinny. Most women, by the nature of the title alone, will be in this category. Slender and Athletic/Toned are not nearly as common. If you’re built like Kate Moss Hilton, pick Slender. If you’re built like Madonna, pick Athletic/Toned. If you’re built like neither – welcome to the club!

Lastly, we have the Curvy option. Being somewhat busty with a J.Lo-ish bottom, I fit into this category, and am plenty content to be there. However, many women think this is sounds like a euphemism for being overweight and don’t select it for this reason. I’m here to tell you, ladies, when men hear the word “curvy” they tend to light up. In a good way. So if you’ve got them, work them. If you're built like Sophia Loren, Curvy is a perfectly good option.

3. What’s your sign?

Yeah, ok, this one is a little unrelated to your hawt, sexy-mama figures, but it's the last question in the Basic Profile section on Match, so I thought I'd include it. Almost everyone, male and female, lists their sign – so you might as well, too. I always notice when man doesn't include his, if for no other reason than it's so uncommon not to. It doesn't hurt to add it and most people regard it as a fun little fact regardless of whether or not they believe in that kind of thing.

So that should take care of your Basic Profile. Stay tuned, next time we’ll be talking about Appearance and Interests!

xx Isabella


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    • nurseleah profile image

      Leah Wells-Marshburn 

      5 years ago from West Virginia

      Good hub! This is an important topic. I was on a couple of times and always selected the "few extra pounds" option, because I am overweight, but not morbidly obese. One man I met said, "Your profile said, 'A few extra pounds,' Where are they?" I thought that was cute and sweet, given that those extra pounds are certainly present and accounted for. I think debbied has a point about the guys with a gut looking for slim/athletic partners. I understand that everyone has preferences of what they are attracted to, but being an overweight individual myself, I find that if I go out in a social setting, many men (not being a narcissist just happens), flirt with me or ask for my number, but I don't think those same guys would have even looked at my profile when I put "overweight" or "full-figured" as my size. When I was browsing the dating sites, I tried to keep in mind that many of the men I have dated in the past were not especially athletic and toned. If I were just picking sexy men out of a line-up, I would probably go for the guys who are a little more toned, but that doesn't speak at all about personality. I much prefer someone who can hold a conversation, laugh at himself, and work together towards a common goal than a pretty rock (def: someone nice to look at but not much good for anything else). My current man, who is beautiful to me, is tall, dark, handsome, and has a gut. I love his gut, right along with the rest of him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same about me. (Note: We met at a bar, not on a dating site. I gave up on that). So, yes, be honest about your height and weight, but also try being open-minded when you're browsing or setting filters. A lot of women (myself included) will not message a man who says he is looking for "slim" or "athletic/toned" because they don't want to be judged (trust me, most women who aren't slim are already judging themselves enough...they don't need someone else to do it for them).

    • profile image

      Braid hair 

      7 years ago

      That's something different to read. waiting for new write up.

    • profile image

      Dallas Dating Man 

      8 years ago

      I also have send a trend of overweight or overworked persons in the online dating world.

    • profile image


      10 years ago

      There seems to be such a double standard here where guys with a gut are looking for slim athletic ladies. I hate those "labels" of full figured and wish they'd use BMI height/weight calculators with an additional question of how many hours a week you exercise.


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