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Opinion: Being Nice to a Man Doesn't Make You a Weak Woman

Updated on November 2, 2016

I guess I'm not a woman, or maybe I'm a doormat. I think I'd know it if I had supernatural powers.

Yeah well, Belldandy from "Ah, My Goddess!" is kind of both.
Yeah well, Belldandy from "Ah, My Goddess!" is kind of both.

I read all sides of all issues. Maybe it's a family curse. But what I hear from feminist blogs is one consistent, clear message; if you do anything feminine and ladylike, and even dare to promote such behaviors in women, you're a sexist piece of trash living in the past.

I don't get it. They attack "red pill women" for saying things like that they wish to try to give the man in their lives more sex, less mental stress, more of what makes them happy, and that they want to be beautiful for their man. How dare they?

Don't they know all women should aspire to be self-sufficient celibate or lesbian wilderness dwellers who don't need no man? Who lift their own sacks of rock salt, open their own queso jars, and squish their own spiders? And who only ever do feminine things like put on makeup for their own personal pleasure? I mean, come onnnn-uh, it is the current century.

But at the same time, you also hear feminists say men should do more to support women, and they hate when you use derrogatory terms like "beta", "cuck", or "faggot" to deride men who act feminine or subservient to women. To them, men being subservient to them makes them happy, so they approve. They say there's nothing about mowing the lawn, carrying heavy bags, or taking out the trash that makes a man less masculine or weak. So what's good for the gander is good for the goose, right?

I should be able to say that nothing about:

  • cooking
  • cleaning
  • providing a man with something that plays to his sexual fantasy (like acting like a naughty teacher or a bad cheerleader)
  • trying to be prettier
  • wearing makeup or lingerie for men (and not for my own personal "empowerment")
  • growing my hair long (because almost all men I've asked say they prefer longer hair in women, even though almost all ladies agree that long hair is a pain in the ass)

and so on makes me a weak woman. It doesn't make me less tough, less smart, it doesn't encourage people to take advantage of me. It doesn't mean I can't or don't stand up for myself when something just isn't right.

If you're not going to deride your man for being unmanly when he does nice things for you, you should not be so judgmental and critical of women when they choose to do nice things for the men in their lives. Your idea of "equality" is wrong because it actually looks more like gynocracy, a world in which women are never expected to do anything and men are expected to sacrifice and give everything they have to women. But there's one word for a relationship that's all take and no give: abuse.


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    • RachaelLefler profile image

      Rachael Lefler 14 months ago from Illinois

      Thank you! :)

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 14 months ago from San Diego California

      Another example of blind ideological adherence run amok. Fanatical devotion to terminology rather than independent thinking. This was superbly written and entertaining, and it gave me a chuckle or two. Great hub.

    • RachaelLefler profile image

      Rachael Lefler 14 months ago from Illinois

      I appreciate the comment. I really think that is a false dichotomy and yes, it holds women back, it can be limiting to see yourself as having to choose and conform entirely to just one side. I think the root of cattiness is envy. The housewife envies the career woman's fancy car and the fact that her blazer doesn't have baby drool on it. The career woman wishes she had a husband and children to come home to instead of a dog and some Netflix and wine. Both have stuff the others envy. It's just about accepting your life choices and the necessity of sacrificing in some areas to excel and prosper in others.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 14 months ago

      For several decades there has been infighting between "traditionalist women" and "progressive women". Both routinely accuse each other hurting the perception of their gender.

      A "traditionalist woman" might for example enjoy a man displaying chivalry, opening doors, picking up the tab on dates, offering to carry heavy items, allowing men to pursue them romantically on their own time table, looking to compliment the man rather than challenge or compete with him.

      A "progressive woman" wants to illustrate her independence, prove she can do anything a man does whether it's on the job or with regard to picking up the tab on dates, sexual behavior, make it known she does not want/need a man for any traditional purpose other than to be an equal partner including having the father change diapers, clean house, babysit, and spend one on one time with the children without their mothers.

      The "traditionalist women" hate to see "progressive women" who look down on them for choosing to be stay at home mothers and they really dislike their insistence in changing dating/courtship rules of the past. They blame them for men expecting to have sex without commitment.

      The "progressive women" look at the "traditionalist women" as though they are {fossils} refusing to embrace modern day opportunities holding back future generations of women from having men view them to be strong and their equal as opposed to being "weak" or "needy".

      In all honesty women will never be truly equal to men until they stop attacking one another! True equality would mean women don't put each other down for making the choice to stay at home, break the glass ceiling, have an abortion, embrace marriage, or never wanting marriage.

      Women oftentimes view other women as "the enemy" or their competition. We see this on the red carpet of every award show where other women comment on what dress a woman wears, her makeup, jewelry, and People Magazine will publish a photo of two (female) celebrities wearing a similar outfit with the caption:

      "Who wore it best?"

      Catty behavior such as calling other women sluts/whores for how they dress, or names like needy/clingy, weak, desperate because they're unhappy with being single are not terms men use towards one another.

      The path to true freedom is when you don't care what others think!

      Know yourself, Love yourself, Trust yourself.

      One man's opinion! :)