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Opinion Topic: Do nice guys really finish last when it comes to women, or do they get the last laugh?

Updated on July 10, 2012

It is generally thought that nice guys finish last. I personally don't find this to always be the case.

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Nice guys finishing last.

We've all heard the saying "nice guys finish last" before. It's a saying that has become all too normal for most people. It's a phrase that most decent guys use consistently after being rejected by a woman, or various women throughout their lives. It's highly thought of that in today's society, women prefer "bad boys", or men who have an edge to them. I've even heard women say that they prefer guys who have a the "bad boy" image, but is a nice guy underneath it. This has led to many decent guys fronting and attempting to be something they're not. As I've gotten older and done more reading and studying on whether or not nice guys finish last, my views have evolved on this subject. In this article I'm going to discuss why I feel that nice guys don't finish last in the end. I'm in no way an expert or claim to be one when it comes to relationships. These are strictly my own opinions, so there is no right or wrong. Just things I've observed. I hope you continue to read.

Being who you are and not what society says be.

It is my belief that many a men go wrong when they stop being themselves in order to impress women. It's something that almost every guy has done in their lives at some point or another. I will admit that I was guilty of doing it myself in the past. I feel that there is nothing wrong with trying to impress a woman that we like. However, if it means doing or being something that is uncharacteristic of who you are, then it's an unwise move. The goal is to get women to like and admire you for the person you really are. One of the biggest reasons for this way of thinking is society. Too many guys and people in general are trying to live up to the expectations of what society deems acceptable. You should be and do the things that reflect who you are. Life is always better when we get the things we want in life, and when we get them while truly being the individuals we are. This is probably one of the ultimate forms of happiness that can be achieved.

Nice guys being overlooked.

If you view yourself as a "nice guy" and you've been rejected by a woman because you weren't exciting enough, it's not your loss. At least that's the way I feel. Whether you believe it or not, you've actually gained in my opinion. The woman that rejects you for being nice or "too nice" as they say, most likely will end up with a guy who mistreats her in the end. You'll actually end up winning because you've wasted little to no time with a woman who obviously wasn't right for you. This leaves you free and available for a woman who will appreciate your "nice guy" qualities. Some of these women that have this mentality actually try to keep the nice guy on hold. They view him as a security blanket just in case things don't work out with the bad guy. Whether you're a male or female, you should never been anyone's second option. It should always be number one, or nothing at all. It's generally regarded by many single women that they're aren't any good men left. That's not always the case by any means. Most of the good guys out there tend to get overlooked. This is due mainly because many decent guys aren't loud or talk a lot. They generally aren't the alpha males, or the "life of the party" as people would say. A lot of this boils down to personal responsibility. Some men and women just straight up make bad choices when it comes to choosing the opposite sex.

Conclusion.

The important point that I hope is taken from this article is to just be who you are. Focus on being the individual that makes you the most happiest. It may not seem like it now, but people will notice and take heed to it. Like the saying goes, "real recognize real". This article isn't only limited to just men. It applies to women as well. I'm just writing from a males perspective since I'm a male myself. I hope this message will register with women who go out of their way to be noticed by guys as well. As I mentioned earlier, it may feel like you're not winning the game right now. However, just hang in there, you'll most likely end up having the last laugh. Would love to see others thoughts on this topic. Feel free to leave your comments. Thanks for reading.

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    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      @Annette Hendley, Thanks for reading. I'm glad that you mentioned how a lot of young guys put up fronts and act a certain way that they feel will make them more desirable to women. That's very true, and a lot of us guys would be amazed at the number of women out there that would appreciate us for being ourselves. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. I appreciate it a lot!

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      @LauraD903, Thanks a lot for the awesome vote. I'm glad that you're able to recount your own youth when you maybe took nice guys for granted. That's something that I notice a lot with younger women myself these days. Glad to hear that you married yourself a good guy, and thanks a lot for sharing your experience.

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      @LisaMarie724, I'm glad to hear that you feel this way. It's great to hear that there are still women who appreciate nice guys. The main goal with this hub is to show that nice guys don't have to change themselves in order to attract women, and even if women don't take heed, it's their loss. Thanks a lot for your feedback and perspective my friend.

    • Annette Hendley profile image

      Annette Hendley 5 years ago from London, United Kingdom

      I hope all young boys read this. As a teacher I see it so many times - the don't care bad boy image, but when you talk to these boys alone they are completely different and actually nice guys. Society, celebrities alike are guilty. I have always been a non-conformist. Great going to give it an awesome.

    • LauraD093 profile image

      Laura Tykarski 5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I had to go awesome on this one-it reminded me of when I first met my husband and he so nicely told me (lol) that I wouldn't know a nice guy if I tripped over him. So guilty as charged in my wild days I was really into riding on the backs of motor-cycles (I'll just let you fill in the rest) Suffice to say a nice guy tamed the wild child and that is what I was. A woman (a good woman)knows a good man from a bug turd right off the bat! I'm grateful I married a "good"one.

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      I believe that nice guys finish first :) It usually takes some kind of attraction to get you in the door but a women will never stay if you are not a nice down to earth guy, unless she is not a nice down to earth girl.

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      I know what you mean. Actually we might do 10 hubs in 10 days sometimes during the holiday. I personally done that one a few months back, and found it more manageable. But yea I'm sure we will be doing another challenge sometime in the months to come, even if it's only 10.

    • Redberry Sky profile image

      Redberry Sky 5 years ago

      I don't know how I'd fare, Prospectboy - I'm still recovering from the last one - but I think I might like to try again, it was pressured but it was fun! So, yes, if you decide to do another one, let me know; even if I don't take part, I'll be cheering you and Karen on from the sidelines!

      (also, in case you don't check your emails, I've just sent you one through the 'contact' form)

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      Oh yes very challenging my friend. I'm like you, I was okay up until that final week. Knowing that I had to do at least two a day was very hard to comprehend. Oh well at least it's over now. Karen and I are already talking about doing challenges in the future, so we'll keep you in mind if you're interested. Thanks for doing the challenge with us, and continued success to you Redberry Sky :)

    • Redberry Sky profile image

      Redberry Sky 5 years ago

      It *was* challenging, wasn't it?! What bothered me most was when I realised a couple of days ago how many I still had to do - the pressure made my mind go completely blank! Good luck to you too, Prospectboy :)

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      I have 5 more to go. I have three that are almost done, just putting the final touches on them. This was a lot more challenging than I initially thought it would be. Oh well, lets make the best of the last hours we have. Good luck to you Redberry Sky.

    • Redberry Sky profile image

      Redberry Sky 5 years ago

      To finish the Challenge I need to write 6 by midnight tonight! Aaargh! It's 5.30am right now where I am (UK) so that gives me ... about 18 hours. I'm not sure I'll make that, so I'm aiming for at least 2 today because that would mean that I'll have written 1 Hub for every day I've been on HP. How about you, Prospectboy, how many have you got to go?

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      Hey there my 30 challenge buddy, Redberry Sky. I think that a lot of women, not all, but a lot of women prefer the "bad boys" when they are young women. However, like you mentioned, I think that with age comes wisdom. The wisdom of knowing that having a "bad boy" in your adult life most likely won't result in anything good is why I think believe many women avoid the bad boys as they get older. I personally think this to be a great thing. I'm also glad to hear that you agree with me that we should be the individual's we are. Thank you so much for your detailed response, and for reading. How many hubs do you have left to finish?

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      Hey how are you Squirrelgonzo? Thank you so much for your kind words, and for taking out the time to check it out. I greatly appreciate it.

    • prospectboy profile image
      Author

      Bradrick H. 5 years ago from Texas

      Thank you so much lovedoctor926. Glad that you found it refreshing seeing my thoughts. I personally feel that leaving the "Alpha" males alone is a good thing. It's important to grow and move forward from things that we do when we're younger. Thanks again for your feedback :)

    • Redberry Sky profile image

      Redberry Sky 5 years ago

      I think as a teenager I 'went' for the 'bad boy', but I think that in itself was because of watching too many movies and doing what society expects teenage girls to do! Now I'm more sensible I would run away from the bad boys - they are just too much trouble and hassle! Totally agree with you - we should all definitely be ourselves, man or woman, and not be swayed by what we 'should' be, or what the movies or society thinks we should be. Awesome Hub, well said.

    • profile image

      Squirrelgonzo 5 years ago

      A great read! I like your perspective on these situations and how easily you explain them. Outstanding! :)

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      You have made very good points in this article. It's always refreshing to hear a man's perspective when it comes to relationships. As for me, I stopped dating Alpha-males a long time ago! lol voted up awesome!

    • profile image

      lovedoctor926 5 years ago

      The title made me laugh and I haven't even started reading it. will check it out soon.

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