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Opposites Attract-Finding Your Perfect Mate

Updated on June 27, 2011

Most of us have heard this saying and there is a lot of truth in it. If two people are too much a like they tend to get on each other’s nerves. We need people that compliment us and aren’t so close to who we are. Thinking the same way is not always a good thing even though it may seem so.

Extroverts and Introverts-

If you have two out going people together they tend to struggle for center stage. This can be tiring after a while and dampen a relationship.

Having one who is good at speaking up helps get the social life going. They might be the one who seems to always find friends or think up fun places to go. Meanwhile the quieter half may excel at planning the details.

Two introverts coming together can be equally bad if they are both too shy to speak up when there is a problem. They may rely on each other for companionship but lack outside friends.


Letter and Number People-

These people tend to compliment each other. There are number people and there are letter people, meaning some are good at figures and some are better with words.

Number people will make schedules and itineraries, they’ll figure out how long it takes to get somewhere and work out the cost while word people may read books and find out information through research. Some letter people are good at talking to people getting needed information.

Both are important ways of getting information but you can see how they compliment each other and are both necessary when planning a vacation.

When building or buying a home these two will accomplish so much more than two who are the same. Deciding where to live, planning a wedding or even buying a car both are needed for different aspects of the deal.

Opposite Career Fields-

This is also evident in the type work people do. Again, there are exceptions but for the most part these don’t work.

Two writers don’t typically make a good pair because they tend to hole up in their separate offices and never see each other.

A couple of actors are always fighting for the spotlight, it is part of the reason their marriages don’t usually last. Celebrities who have the most successful unions married outside their field of work i.e. their manager.

Opposites can agree-

Even though opposite people think very different, they can still get along. You must find the flip side of your coin that has similar tastes and ideas. When this happens although the way of arriving at the destination may be different you both have the same common goal. Working together you can reach the end of the maze.

You must realize that although your other half does things differently; they want the same thing you do they just have their own way of getting things done.

Understand you are different, don’t expect them to do things the same way and you’ll get along much better.


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    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, Dallas.

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 

      7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      Enjoyed the informative article! Awesome!

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, Prasetio.

    • prasetio30 profile image


      7 years ago from malang-indonesia

      This hub so beautiful and inspiring me a lot. I hope I can find my perfect mate soon. Thanks for writing this and I really enjoy your tips above. Vote it up!


    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Break up books, that is true we do pick up our significant other's traits and some behavior. Thanks for stopping by.

    • profile image

      break up books 

      7 years ago

      I think that initially opposites do attract, but over time we become more and more like each other, assuming each other's habits and fitting into a harmonious compromise. We do become more and more like our partners, it is inescapable and quite scary. Just like we become more and more like our pets.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Chatkath, it works when they both bring different talents to the union.

    • Chatkath profile image


      7 years ago from California

      Thought provoking hub Pamela...It seems like whenever I think I have it figured out I run into an exception but generally speaking, I agree that opposites do tend to compliment each other because they aren't competing, assuming that you have the same values, goals, etc. My son and his wife are like this and it seems to work... She is much more organized (surprise surprise) and makes because he respects her and what she has accomplished in her own life. I don't know if either is an extrovert/introvert it is more like they have confidence in different areas. Interesting topic!

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Marshacanada, if they are really shy it sometimes works that way. You do have to have similar ideas about life or it won't work out.

    • marshacanada profile image


      7 years ago from Vancouver BC

      I have seen very poor marriages were one is extrovert and the other shyer partner just hides in the house while the extrovert goes out.

      For myself I cant imagine being with a partner who did not share some of my beliefs, lifestyles and interests.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      IZeko, goals and ideas have to be the same they are just different in how they reach the end result.

    • iZeko profile image


      7 years ago

      I agree that opposites attract. But I think for them to last, there has to be some similarities, otherwise when their views are poles apart they won’t agree on anything.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      KoffeeKlatch Gals, it's funny how that happens but it does work.

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 

      7 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Love the video. I agree, opposites attract. People say my husband and I are as different as night and day and yet we have a wonderful strong marriage.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, Twilight. I'm not sure why so many choose the wrong person to be with but it does seem to happen a lot.

    • Twilight Lawns profile image

      Twilight Lawns 

      7 years ago from Norbury-sur-Mer, Surrey, England. U.K.

      Great hub, Pamela. Every word a truth, so why do people still seem to choose the wrong person for them?

      I have found the perfect partner for myself, so I don;t need to follow any particular ones of the rules... I think I have followed ALL of them. We couldn't be more different.

      If it helps, this hub may give a bit of guidance to thos who still insist upon being stubborn:

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Mckbirdbks, I am an extrovert and married an introvert. It works for us.

      Kashmir, my daughter and I are a lot alike and drive each other nuts sometimes.

    • kashmir56 profile image

      Thomas Silvia 

      7 years ago from Massachusetts

      Hi Pamela, yes i do agree with you that if two people are too much a like they will on each each other’s nerves, i think each person need to bring something different to the relationship in order to keep it interesting .

      Useful and vote up !!!

    • mckbirdbks profile image


      7 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Great Hub. Funny video. Extrovert and Introvert, that's us.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      marellen, that is true. Sometimes you can be too different.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Yep, I think you are right but if your not on the same page of what each other wants or needs, then it can be an awful union.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Neil, I love that old video too.

      Mentalist, it seems to work that way quite often.

    • Mentalist acer profile image

      Mentalist acer 

      7 years ago from A Voice in your Mind!

      I believe in this philosophy also Pam.;)

    • Neil Sperling profile image

      Neil Sperling 

      7 years ago from Port Dover Ontario Canada

      LOL -- love the video --- good hub and could very well be helpful.... I'll make the bed if you help me mess it up!


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